Living on the Sidelines

    The sun is shining bright today, making this day much more unbearable than it needs to be. The last thing I need is to get sun burnt. I look down at my pale skin, thinking that a tan wouldn't be the worst thing to happen to me today.      I take a deep breath and look around for a bench. When I see an empty one outside an ice cream shop I decide to sit down for a moment. I don't want to be too early, I'm not ready for all eyes on me. "Oh so you're Melissa's sister, you're much paler than her," I imagine all of her employers greeting me like this. People have always been surprised at the fact that I'm her younger sister. Mostly because of my pale skin, my height being 5'1 for a 22 year old, my curly dirty blonde hair, and the fact that I'm kind of skinny. I mean not to the point where elderly people are telling me to put more meat on my bones, but I don't have any muscle so it's really just my small arms that I'm talking about.      I sit on the bench for a few more minutes just watching the different types of people pass by. A few teen boys pass me while riding their bikes, a mother comes by pushing her baby's stroller the opposite way from the teen boys, then two women holding hands. I continue to watch the two women walk this way, but when they kiss a few feet away down the sidewalk, I blush and look down at my shoes. I've been yearning to be in a relationship for a while, and the more and more I see two people together, the more I feel like the universe is trying to throw everybody's love for each other in my face. I mean don't get me wrong I'm happy for all the people that have found love, but I just wish I could find it somewhere too.      I stand up and begin walking away from the bench. I'm two blocks away from my sister's business headquarters. At this point my father's voice finds its way into the front of my mind. "you have to work hard to be able to earn what you deserve." When he said that, he really only meant that I have to work hard because I'll always be second best when compared with my sister. My sister has never worked for anything in her life. She's always gotten my father's money plus my father's company. Legendary jewelers, originally men's jewelry, but when my sister took over she wanted to include women's jewelry too. My father started the company with his friend, but I have a theory that his friend did all the work in creating the company and my father just sat around and took half the credit. Although I know that theory isn't true and I shouldn't talk about my father like that, but him and my mother have said worse things about me.    I finally arrive at the front doors, I reach for the handle and pull it open. I'm ready for this... or so I think. When I get to the elevator, it is packed, I stand a foot away from the entrance to it, thinking maybe I should wait for the next one. I look back down at my shoes, a habit I need to stop. That is until I hear someone whistling obnoxiously in the elevator, I immediately look up to try and find the culprit. When I spot the person it seems to be a man probably early 30's. He uses his right hand to motion me to come in, "we won't bite," he says in a gruff voice. I take a slow step in when I realize there's enough room for me to fit. Although the space is right in front of the gruff sounding man, but what harm could this man possibly do to me while we're standing in a packed elevator. Once I'm inside I walk towards him then turn around to face the door right as it closes.      Instantly I feel a body being pushed against my back, and I can't tell if it's on purpose or on accident. That is until the man tilts his head near the side of mine to whisper in my ear, "or will we." His voice less gruff and more husky sounding, but it isn't attractive hearing it come from his mouth. I try to ignore him and I take a step forward, but this man obviously won't take a hint because he takes a step closer to me again.      Am I seriously being harassed my first day on the job? Disgusting. The elevator stops and I move to the left so the people on the right of me have more room to get off. And of course this guy has the audacity to move to the left as well, and I don't think he's doing it because he's being nice.     I roll my eyes and turn around to look at him, although it's hard to do that without tilting my head back because he is insanely tall, or maybe I'm just insanely short. He has a big grin plastered on his face and he's staring at me way too intensely. I hold my shoulders up high and grasp all the confidence I have inside me to say, "Excuse me sir, but I think you should back up before I make a complaint to HR about your behavior."  He looks at me as if he's surprised I would speak up for myself, and his grin transforms into a smirk. I will say this guy does look sort of handsome, but he seems like a hardcore asshole. He puts his hands in front of himself, the way people do sometimes when someone is getting hostile. When I look down, that's when I notice how close his hands are to almost touching my breasts. "Aren't you a feisty one," he chuckles, "I like them feisty." He bites his bottom lip slowly, and I swear I feel like I might throw up. He puts his hands back into his pockets and says nothing more.      So I turn back around and watch as more people leave the elevator. This elevator is extremely slow, I have to go to the top floor but it isn't even halfway up there yet. I look over to the row of buttons and see that some jackass must've pushed them all and that's why this elevator ride is taking longer than expected. I take a deep breath and try to not freak out, I mean Melissa won't get mad at me for being late... right? I doubt she'd fire me for something as small as this, I mean it's not my fault the elevator is taking this long to get to the top. Although I could've came here earlier than I did.      Damn it, now I am freaking out. And on top of me freaking out, I can sense someone's eyes on me. Probably the guy behind me trying to figure out other ways of getting me into his bed. I roll my eyes once again, if this guy doesn't quit I will lose my temper and punch the crap out of him, but I need to learn to control my anger. Just as long as this guy learns how to control... himself. I turn my head to the side and see that it is him staring. This guy just won't quit, like holy s**t.      I turn my head back to where it was originally so I'm looking straight ahead. The guy clears his throat, "You see something you like little lady?" I sigh already wishing this day was over. "Because I know I see something I like." Is he seriously sexualizing me? I turn around and this dude of course isn't looking me in the eyes, he's looking elsewhere... Disgusting. I look around at everyone on the elevator, how they're trying not to look over. This guy must have some sort of position filled with a lot of power if everybody here isn't going to help me stop him.      "Hey guy my eyes are up here." I snap my fingers in front of his face to get his attention. He looks up at my eyes and has to have some sort of perverted remark. "Well I see something much better than your eyes." He continues to smirk, and I begin to ball my right hand into a fist. That's when the elevator dings signaling that the doors are opening, and within seconds someone is pulling me by my arm stopping me from punching that perverted dude.      When I turn to see who it is I see a woman who is a smidge taller than me. Her skin is dark, an espresso color, with long, shiny black hair. This woman is beautiful. She gives me a kind smile before saying, " I'm Sheila, I'm sorry for pulling you away, but I don't think punching Joseph would be good for your job here." I'm about to say something because I'm still furious about what just happened, but she continues. "I know how disgusting he can be, but just watch out, don't let him get you all worked up. You can always just file a complaint to HR."     I nod and fumble around with my hands, another one of my habits that I do only when I'm nervous. "I'm Clar..." Again Sheila interrupts me, "You're Clarissa," she chuckles lightly, "Melissa's sister and her new assistant. I know, and I know your day probably isn't good because of Joseph, but I do hope it gets better." I smile and begin to wish that all people could be as nice as Sheila.      We continue to talk as she walks me to Melissa's office, we also stop into other offices so Sheila can introduce me to everyone. I don't know why I have to be introduced to anyone if I'm probably just going to be stuck in Melissa's office all day.      Before we can even make it to Melissa's office we bump into her in the long hallway. I stand off to the side as Sheila talks to Melissa about a few important upcoming meetings that they have to go to. Then Sheila soon walks away and it's just me and my big sister. She has me follow her to the end of the hallway to her office, and I begin to tell her about why I'm a little late.      "Well no wonder why he was saying those things, I mean have you seen what you're wearing?" She leads me over to the full body mirror in the corner of the room, the only thing that's on that side of the room. This mirror is probably where she spends half her day at. When I see myself in the mirror I don't see what's wrong with what I'm wearing. A black satin cami top that's tucked into grey, high waisted trousers.      She's probably talking about the fact that you can see my cleavage. Honestly it's not even that much that's showing. It's not my fault that I was cursed with such big boobs. And she's probably also talking about the fact that my dump truck of an ass is well defined in these trousers, again another feature I'm cursed with. I can't tell you how many times my parents have commented on how big my ass is. "Stop with the carb intake Clarissa." "Watch where you're going! That big ass of yours almost knocked me down." Honestly, the amount of negative comments they have about my body is horrible. But I like my ass even if I define it as a cursed feature.      "Tomorrow you should wear something that'll cover you up more. The amount of skin showing is just unpleasant." What the f**k did she just say to me? She seriously can't be talking to me like that. But I'm not going to argue with her, I just want this day to be over. I nod, "okay I'll wear something much different tomorrow."     She smiles brightly showing her teeth, happy to have gotten her way. I try to hide my annoyance with her. "Wait! I have a great idea." She yells out, showing that she is over joyed by whatever has just popped into her head at this very moment. She goes into the closet nearby and pulls something out, but she keeps it behind her back. Oh God, what is she about to give me.      "Here, I'm going to give you this to keep, but you have to wear it to work everyday, in case you're wearing something I don't like." She removes the object from behind her and reaches it out to me. It's this oversized, white faux fur coat, it looks nice but it just looks like too much. It doesn't look one bit professional, but Melissa isn't one for wearing professional clothing. I hesitate before grabbing it from her hand, like I said it's nice much nicer than anything I own. But I am extremely pissed off with her. "Thanks...  but why are you giving me this?" She continues to smile, but it isn't a meaningful one, it's the type of smile people have when they're about to say something hurtful to you. "Well I don't want you to be a distraction for my employers." This is the second time today that I ball my hands into fists, "Well maybe your employers shouldn't be looking and should know to keep their 'things' in their pants."      She can tell I'm getting angry from my aggressive tone so she says, "I have a meeting.. Just put the coat on. I left a list of things for you to do. I'll see you later." Then she quickly grabs her big purse and leaves.      I spend the rest of the day doing the ridiculous things Melissa put on that list. Rearranging the files in her filing cabinets, cleaning off her messy desk, and picking up phone calls. Also, snooping around her stuff a tiny bit. I know that's an invasion of privacy and what not, but I just want to make sure she isn't completely making a fool out of my father's company.      But after looking through every file I can't find anything bad, so maybe she's actually doing a good job? I go over and sit down in her chair, it's one of those leather chairs that you can spin around in, which is what I do. I can't stop thinking about this disastrous day. Including what happened with Joseph on the elevator and what happened with Melissa only hours ago. I mean is everyone here but Sheila, an asshole? When Sheila was introducing me to everyone earlier they wouldn't even give me the time of day, they just waved without looking at me. I mean what did I expect? That everyone give me their full attention and actually care about me or what I have to say for once? Come on! You're living in a dream world Clarissa, it's time to get out of it.  I reach into my small purse and take out my phone to try and keep my thoughts out of my mind. A missed call from Aaliyah, my best friend since grade school, and about 20 texts. Along with 2 texts from Ashton, another friend, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't want to be more. And a picture on snapchat from Felix.      Before I can even open any message Melissa comes inside her office, I hadn't even heard the door open. I look up at her but she doesn't look my way, she just immediately goes towards the second filing cabinet. Out of nowhere she lets out a loud groan, "where the hell are the purple folders that were in here?"     I widen my eyes, oh no what did I do wrong now, I did exactly what she asked. "On the list it said to move the purple folders to the first filing cabinet." I grab it off of her desk and hand the list to her, but still she isn't looking my way.      "I don't care what I put on the damn list! Just grab them all out!" Her anger escalates, making me afraid. It's still my first day and I've already f****d up more times than I can count. I swiftly get up out of her chair and in a flash I get the purple folders out of the filing cabinet. I tilt all of the folders towards her, but they begin to slip from my grip and the papers from inside them go spilling all over the floor.      Now she's looking at me, her nose is scrunched up and it feels as if her eyes are about to pop out of her sockets. She groans, stomping her foot she screams, "What the f**k did you just do?! You're an absolute i***t! Mrs. f*****g butterfingers over here everybody!" My muscles begin to tighten and I feel a tension in my stomach. I really hope no one is listening into this.      I'm stuck in my thoughts, I can still hear her yelling at me, but I can't make out a word she's saying. Her voice is thick with aggression, until she stops talking. She takes a deep breath. When we're both looking at each other she rolls her eyes and pulls her purses' strap higher up on her shoulder.      "Anyways you need to clean up your mess and place the papers into the folder they belong to." Her whole expression and tone just changes like that. She wears a set smile on her lips as she turns towards the door. "I'm going out to a club with a few other people, have fun cleaning up your mess." Her tone is bitter and as she walks out of the room her movement is confident. I see a few people walk out of their office's and they shoot me looks of pity, including Sheila. Great. Now everyone's just going to feel bad for me, and I don't want that.      After almost an hour I have all the purple files tidied up and put back into their filing cabinet. I begin to wonder what file Melissa needed, maybe I should take a quick peak at all of them. So I do. But soon enough someone barges through the door before I'm able to find anything of interest.