Letter to the New You.

Dear Mr. Watson, This letter is to inform you that you are not the same person you used to be. We both know this to be true. I say that you know this is true because multiple times, you have told me that you do not feel the same. You have told me that you think you're going crazy. You've told me that you hear voices and see things and for some dumbass reason, I really thought I could help you. When we met, your eyes glowed whenever you saw me. A genuine and heart warming smile came across your lips when our eyes would meet. You made me feel safe. Now, your eyes burn with rage when I smile at you. A draining presence creeps throughout the walls of this house whenever you look at me. Feels like a thousand knives are being carved into my chest. I tell you and you don't care. I cry to you and you push me away. I beg you to please stop this weakening, controlling, mentally and emotionally abusive cycle and to no avail, you turn the notch up to 10. I used to beg you to let me in. Telling me your thoughts weren't enough. Why didn't you want to feel my touch? You didn't love me for real. The whole time, you just wanted me to deal. Deal with your bullshit. Deal with all of the pain that you were causing me. Deal with the loss of my family and friends. I had to constantly push them away while they were trying to come in. And then there's our son. The beautiful day he turned one. That's the day I started hating you the most. The least you could've done was get your boy's day fun. We sat in the house and did nothing. It was freezing outside so we stayed in. Every time I came up with ideas, you knocked them down. Thought about getting balloons and some toys but nope. You would just fuss and make a lot of unnecessary noise. I tried to make this house a home. You said that you wouldn't let me do it alone. But you lied like always. I should've just bought them. I should've left your ass then. Why the hell do I always find these type of men? I guess since we were together, supporting for the baby wasn't really part of your agenda. Yea, you're good at putting him to sleep...wow that's basically all you did. You only change pee diapers and put him to sleep. You play with him when you want too. Besides that, you're constantly pushing him away. Then ask why he doesn't like you. How can anyone like you? You don't give them a chance too! And this is your baby. Welp, that's what I get huh? For having a baby by you. You told me that you didn't care about him multiple times. Then to my baby girl. She used to really like you. Not love. Just liked. She liked when you would talk to her, when you would play with her. But she hated how you treated me. She didn't need to see you talking to me any type of way. She wanted you to love me. That's it. Now she can't stand you. She never wants to see your face again. That makes both of us. You fumbled big time. Now that I'm the CEO of my company, I can finally give my babies the life that they deserve. I can give them a life without you. You told me that you hated me multiple times.Then why are you still trying to be mine? I don't want you if you don't want him. I don't want you if you don't want her. I don't even want you for me. You act like you are this perfect man who has been sent from heaven hand picked by God himself. Well, Mr. Watson, I'm here to tell you that you aren't s**t. You are a bum. A low life. A leech who feeds off of other people's negative emotions. You love nobody. Not even yourself. Your mother is the only person on this earth that you actually care about and even that love has it's limits with you. You are a manipulative asshole and I feel so much better off without you. I feel more free. I feel empowered. I feel loved by me. I feel like my kids and I are safe. I feel encouraged. I feel like I can honestly fly if I were to put my mind to it. I feel like I can finally start to live my life again. I am happier without you. I am better without you. I am able to be myself wholeheartedly. I am able to speak. I am able to walk around however I want. I am able to talk to whoever I want. I am able to reconnect with my family. If you were here, I still wouldn't be talking to my brother or sister. I wouldn't have cleaned up this house or got this new furniture. I would be bitter. I would be waking up looking at a lazy bum in my bed. I would be waking up thinking about how to not piss you off today. I would be waking up praying that you woke up in a good mood. I would be waking up thinking about how to get away from you. You always begged me to never hate you. I swear, I hate you with everything in me. Stay the f**k away from me for the rest of your life. You don't know how I had to sleep with a knife for the first two weeks you were locked up. Every time the wind blows against the door, it sounds like someone is entering their key into the door. I start shaking instantly. I can't ever see you again. That hurts like hell because I remember how we used to be. I miss those days so much. We were all happy. Now, I have to rebuild the happiness that you destroyed. But I owe you thanks. Because if you weren't who you were, then I wouldn't have became who I am about to become. So with all the disrespect in this world, f**k you, Mr. Watson.