Alternatives

Chapter 1:Alternatives Part Two

"We do share some similar attitudes towards the world", she shrugged. "In any case, you can tell her as much or as little about yourself as you please once you're on your way."

"We'll see what she says once she comes here." Erik was still furious about it all. He didn't want to be sitting there, meeting a strange woman and dealing with her inevitable reactions. He had had enough of those in his lifetime, and he didn't even want to interact with a single person in the whole world at that moment. Why do I even need this? I'd always found a way to survive alone.

The recent realization that Giry would soon be gone; rather, that he would be gone kept him silent. He noticed she looked much older than of late, tired somehow, perhaps from the strain of having to care for someone going through a mental breakdown. All of it made him… sad. Not furiously, maddeningly sad like before, but simply sad. It kept him calmer. He tried as hard as he could to make her life easier.

When the woman – Alina, was it? – arrived, Erik was hesitant. He truly, really didn't want to deal with the possibility of Antoinette being wrong. A woman screaming after seeing him would not only grate on his already raw nerves but would also be quite dangerous in this situation. He remained in my designated room while Antoinette went out to greet the woman. He checked everything twice – his shirt covered every single part of his arms, his gloves were in place, his mask never even left his face, but he checked it twice and tied a few more knots, anyway. Just as he was considering tying a couple more just in case, Antoinette came in.

"Would you like to join us?"

No, I definitely would rather stay here. But he went after her, anyway.

As he entered the living room he noticed her immediately.

An unusually tall woman – although, the top of her head still barely reached above Erik's chin – stood in the middle of the room and looked around nervously. She turned her head immediately when she heard him arriving. She was tall, slim, and long-lived; dressed in a very simple black dress and jacket. Her hair was brown, pulled back in a bun, her eyes beneath dark eyebrows were brown, and her skin was a light olive-brown. She looked vaguely foreign - Italian, maybe. Maybe not. Erik was told she only spoke English and some convoluted Slavic mess of a language. Her jaw was sharp and angular, but her eyes beneath dark eyebrows were soft. Warm and friendly. He could see why Antoinette trusted her – something about the warm eyes and inviting smile. Her eyes widened slightly when she saw him, and he braced himself for what would happen next - but nothing happened. She composed herself within a second, as something definitely neither soft nor warm swiftly passed through her eyes.

Erik found himself observing her more carefully than he had intended to.

Alina, on the other hand, had to give herself credit for keeping her wits about her as auntie Giry introduced her to the strangest man she had ever seen in her life. Auntie did mention Don't gawk at the mask, my dear, which Alina would not have done anyway since she did understand the concept of manners. But I guess in her good intentions she forgot to mention everything else, she thought, such as the fact he was incredibly tall and eerily thin and so pale or that his overall posture and mannerisms were quite intimidating or that his eyes beneath the mask were an unmistakable shade of yellow. Not that I mind that, she thought. The yellow eyes are rather striking.

On an otherwise frightening fellow.

A mask made of some kind of white leather covered most of his face, with only enough of his mouth and lower jaw exposed that he could talk and eat. For what it was worth, it seemed like a normal-looking jaw, but it unnerved Alina that she couldn't see his facial expressions. Above the mask, straight black hair hung a bit messy around his temples. It might've looked good if he'd combed it back, but it looked like he just snipped the front parts, so they wouldn't get in his eyes, and then someone tried to salvage it by cutting it short and tidy on the back of his head.

Alina only had to keep her face straight for a split second before she remembered that her mother didn't raise her to be a judgmental a*s towards people she didn't even know. In a desperate attempt to not make the man more self-conscious than he probably already was, she smiled her best pleased-to-meet-you smile and introduced herself like a proper human being.

„Glad to meet you, sir. I'm Alina." She held out her hand. Right hand, too. She didn't make the stupid mistake of offering someone her left hand again and then having to explain it's my dominant hand-

But the man stood still and looked at her in that same unnerving manner that made her feel very insecure. What did I do? What did I do? Did I offend him? She wondered before noticing in the corner of her eye that his hands were covered with gloves and that his body was almost completely covered in clothing and oh my God he probably doesn't like when people touch him he's going to be offended now, so she started lowering her hand –

-but he accepted it and lightly shook it for a second. Alina felt her heart start beating for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

God, I hate meeting people. I hate people. I'm not too fond of myself at this moment either.

„Hello", he said quietly.

Antoinette gestured for them to sit down at the kitchen table, pouring Alina a cup of coffee – which, thankfully, have her something to occupy her hands with. What an absurd situation, she thought. What is wrong with me? Have I lost my mind? I'm not a child anymore, and I'm not so delicate to be afraid of anything, let alone some unknown man. I am an adult, and I will handle this like one. She decided to gather herself quickly.

The man observed Alina quietly and for a moment she thought his unusual eyes could see all of her secrets.

She noticed he wasn't drinking anything. Well, that's his problem, she thought as she drank Giry's delicious coffee a little too quickly for a proper young lady.

„How have you been, Alina?" Antoinette said. „I have not seen you in ages."

„No one has seen me in ages, actually", she replied sadly. „I've been busy."

„How's work?"

„Distressing. Depressing. Underpaid. Poor job security."

„Who's upsetting you, the children?", she asked.

„The kids are alright, for most of the time, they do the best they can. We get along. It's the adults that bother me daily." The man – Erik, she remembered – was looking at her with interest now.

„Shame", she said, „but I do believe you're making a difference, there. Didn't you mention the orphanage children were getting calmer and friendlier over the past few months?"

„It's not like they could have gotten louder and more problematic, ma'am."

She laughed. „Well, at any point, you did some good there. Am I right in assuming that you're ready for a change of scenery now?"

„You are right, yes. This job is eating me alive."

She did it subtly, but the tone of the conversation shifted slightly. Alina knew what Antoinette was referring to because they had spoken about it earlier, and it still made her suspicious. She already knew that she wouldn't say no, and she knew that Antoinette knew it, and it made her even more suspicious. The whole thing didn't seem so bad at first, and Alina trusted that Antoinette wouldn't just trick her into a dangerous situation for no good reason.

But she was still on her toes, more from the presence of the eerily silent man.

„I'd like to discuss this directly", she said. She happened to hate covert, roundabout, walking-on-eggshells type of conversations. She turned to the man, who was still silently attentive.

„You'd like me to go with you to New York and ensure you get in with as little trouble as possible, and teach you some English, and make sure they don't kick you out or kill you when you arrive. Right?"

He paused. „Yes and no."

„Sorry?" she raised her eyebrows.

He paused again. „I am better at listening than speaking English." Alina noticed he sounded very pleasant when he spoke, his voice deep and melodic. His accent was strange, pronunciation slightly awkward. Did he learn this much without actually speaking it to anyone?

Gesturing at Antoinette, he continued, „she wants you to do it, not I. Her idea."

Well, this was not mentioned. Alina didn't like it.

„And what do you want?" she asked him, lowering her cup on the table.

The question caught him off guard. „I don't know."

„I've been told you have no other option but to escape. That the Parisian police will surely hunt you down if you stay here, and then it's over for you."

„That is true."

„I've also been told that you know absolutely nobody in the world that would help you escape, except for auntie Giry, and if I go with you, then also me."

„Also true."

„Do you think you can manage it alone, then?"

„Maybe", he replied slowly.

„Would someone please explain what is going on, then?" Alina asked, feeling like she didn't want to get involved in all this.

Antoinette opened her mouth, but he waved his hand at her, still looking at Alina. He seemed impressed by the fact she was speaking and looking at him at the same time.

„I don't care what happens to me. I don't care if I live or die. She cares."

He continued, „She also thinks I deserve to live, and I don't. I think you should know that."

I was right, she thought. I don't want to get involved in all this.

And, she realized, she was getting angry. But this was something she could deal with. The angrier she got, the less afraid she was and found herself suddenly much more composed than moments prior. I think I know what this is about, it dawned on her. I've seen this type of situation in the orphanage, and back when I worked at the hospital.

Just another crisis to handle. Nothing personal.

Alina turned toward Antoinette, suddenly realizing what the problem was.

„Auntie Giry, this man does not want to go with me."

Antoinette gave her a look that could have easily cut straight through a stone cliff. „You promised me. Seventeen years ago. Do you remember?"

„I do very much remember, Madam. And if you are honestly saying this man is being unfairly hunted down, if you say he deserves an honest chance, then by God I believe you because I know you and I've never seen you wrong in your assessments of people's character. You told me that Erik is a good person, and by my heart, I believe it, I swear."

He looked a bit shaken now. Good, she thought. I want him to be. Antoinette, on her end, still looked at her with icy anger that made Alina's skin crawl.

„However," she continued, doing her best to seem convincing and authoritative, „I find it unfair to force my assistance on anyone, no matter how few options they may have left. This man may not have much of a choice, but out of respect for his human dignity we have to still let him choose."

Antoinette went silent as Alina turned to the seemingly suicidal stranger sitting across from her.

„I have worked with various people for close to seven years now, sir, and I am very good at what I do. But I have never denied someone the basic choice of accepting or ignoring my help. It would be an offense to you, as well as me, to be put in such a situation. If you wish for me to travel with you, I will, and I expect nothing in return save for the same respect I have shown you. If you do not, however, I won't do it, even if it means owing this debt to madam Giry for the rest of my life."

He took his time processing her words. He looks a bit too shocked by being called a good person, she thought. Something about it suddenly made her incredibly sad.

He nodded. „I'll go", and after a short pause, added, „With you."

Antoinette smiled.

„But", he said, „I have a... hm. Condition?" He was unsure about the word, not the fact that he wanted to negotiate, it seemed.

„Alright, I'm listening", Alina nodded.

He took a deep breath while he composed the sentence in his mind and for a moment, he seemed more relatable. Likable, even, Alina thought.

„As I said, I don't care if I live or die. There is only one thing I want to avoid." He looked straight at her again with those unnerving eyes – „I don't want to be caught. I don't want to be in chains until I die. I prefer if you kill me, rather than let them have me."

„What?" What?

„Yes. I don't want to live like an animal. I'd rather die than let it happen again." In a very upside-down, messed-up way, Alina could see how that made sense. What does he mean, again? "You sound like you understand that", he added, nodding at her.

I knew this would somehow be my fault, she thought weakly. I knew these rants about freedom and human rights would bury me someday. It's sort of fitting.

"And you want me to promise that I'd kill you if they catch you?" was all she could manage.

He shrugged. "Not really. I know how. Just promise to help me do it."

Alina came very close to killing herself at that very moment for the sake of getting out of that situation. Antoinette was still so furious that Alina was afraid she might end the dilemma right then and there by straight-up murdering them both. I still owe her. I promised to pass on the favor, to do some good in this world. She never asked anything from me until now.

But, how can I promise something like this?

He put his elbows on the table and watched Alina intently with his fingers crossed in front of his mouth. Alina gave her best to think about it rationally, despite the distracting, unnerving eyes poking holes in her head. Between the sleeve and the glove, a small patch of pale skin shone on the man's wrist. He didn't seem to notice his sleeve shifting and revealing it.

And on the pale wrist sat an even paler, deeply indented, ancient scar.

That's a peculiar location for a scar, Alina thought. It looks too thick to be caused by a razor. Handcuffs, sooner. Ropes? Shackles?

Alina suddenly knew exactly what she would do, reason is damned.

"I'll do it, alright. They won't catch you while I'm alive." She paused, suddenly having another disturbing thought. "Although I also have one condition. As long as they don't catch you, you'll make an effort to stay alive. You'll go out of your way to live. Not harming anybody, including yourself. Is that fair?"

He thought about it, but ultimately knew he wouldn't get a better deal.

"That is fair", he nodded.

"Alright then. It's a deal." Alina offered the man her hand again – the right one – and he shook it lightly. She found herself smiling as a wave of relief washed over her. I did my best, auntie Giry. It'll have to do.

"I'm glad to be traveling with you", Alina said doing her best to be civil, and though it was true she was glad to be going away, she was also truthfully horrified by the idea of crossing the Atlantic in winter in a ship full of strangers and the human embodiment of an impassable maze.

Erik looked at Alina somewhat suspiciously. Perhaps the same thing occurred to him.