Monstrous

7

       My whole body knew nothing but passion, it was numb from it. Nile slipped his hand from in between my thighs which still tingled with pleasure, and brought it up to the side of my face. I was still panting heavily when he planted a soft long kiss onto my lips. 

      “I want to feel you..” I said after a few moments of recollecting myself. The words just slipped from my lips without radical thinking. My hands slipped down from the back of his head and slipped my hands underneath his shirt. His skin was rough and cold but somehow the feeling drew me in closer, his muscles tightened at my touch but soon they would relax. Nile pressed his forehead against mine as he wrapped his arm around my waist keeping my body closer to his. 

      "Not tonight.." He said feeling my fingers trail the waistband of his boxers. Obviously only one of us was thinking clearly, my thoughts were blurred with lust and maybe I would regret this in the morning so I'm choosing to live in the moment. I didn't know what I was proposing when it came to Nile, I just wanted more of him, to feel him, to touch him. I wanted him in all the ways I wasn't able to before. My fingers curled around his waistband completely disregarding what he had said. 

      "Autumn.." He groaned, catching my hand before it managed to slip into the fabric. Nile turned me on my back and slipped in between my legs. My hands clutched onto the hem of his shirt and pulled it off of him. The addiction of feeling his skin began and I couldn't stop. My  fingertips trailed all over his skin, over the tattoos and faded bruising. He looked into my eyes and just that alone gave me the feeling I was longing for when I had kissed Jacob. There was still a feeling of nervousness that would bite me from the inside. Nile's hands gripped the back of my thighs and brought them up to hug his waist.

      "Why not?" I asked faintly with a bit of concern in my voice. Was he worried that I wouldn't be good enough for him? Nile has experience with tons of other girls, I wouldn't be surprised if he was comparing how I kiss.

      "Because, it wouldn't be right.." He said sternly before planting a kiss against my lips. He too was panting heavily against my lips, I don't get why he was trying so hard to resist me.

       "Says who?" A smirk came onto my lips as I broke the kiss. Nile gently pressed a kiss onto my neck, his sensual acts made me go absolutely insane, the way just one kiss would make my entire body explode, it took all the power I had to not let a moan. 

       "A lot of people, your parents, my mom, our friends, most importantly me.." Nile brought himself to look at me and his facial expression was stone cold. I could bring myself to understand the others, but why him? I know what we have between us is a bit unorthodox, insane, everyone else would say it was toxic.  

     "Did I do something wrong? Am I-" Nile cut me off with a sigh and the shake of the head. Nile bit his bottom lip and looked away from me,  my hands pulled away from his body as the confidence I once felt drained away. 

      "No Autumn. It's what you told me downstairs-" Of course. I should've never said anything, now he just looks at me like I'm some kind of helpless victim who doesn't know right from wrong. Nile picked up on my slight anger and he pressed his forehead against mine making sure he kept himself as close as possible. 

      "The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you again. I'm ready to go that far with you Autumn, but I don't think you are. If we ever get to level, I wanna make sure it happens for the right reasons..I don't want to add on to your pain anymore, nor do I want you to resent me.." His lips were so close to mine I practically swallowed his words. 

      "I know for a fact you don't think like this when it comes to all the other girls. You had s*x with Stella only have a day of knowing her" I wasn't trying to argue, nor was I trying to plead a case. Maybe he was right about me. Maybe I thought I was ready but in reality, I really don't think I am. I can't even think about being naked in front of someone else. 

      "You're not her. You're different from all those other girls. I don't care about them.." It was clear Nile wasn't thinking with his words. Even he was shocked by what came out from his mouth. Longing for his skin, my hands slipped onto his shoulders and onto the sides of his neck.

       "You care about me?" My heart fluttered at his words, but the last thing I would let myself is to fall head over heels for Nile Cale. 

       "In some weird f****d up way..yeah I do-" Before Nile could finish his sentence, I pulled him down into another kiss. It was so weird being able to like this with him. Never in a million years did I think that me and Nile would've been in the same bed, never did I think that I would enjoy it so much. Nile placed a hand on the side of my neck gripping onto it gently and placed another on my waist. Nile was putting a lot of restraints in himself, I felt it as he pulled away from me. He smiled down at me and brought the hand that rested on my neck up to my cheek and caressed it with his thumb.

         "Let's get some sleep.." He said, before I could respond his body peeled off of mine and dropped down next to me. Nile stared up at the ceiling wordlessly, I would've loved to know what he was thinking about. My eyes began to feel heavy, with nothing but silence in the air I pulled the covers over my chest and turned away from him.

         "Goodnight.." Nile finally broke the silence, a small smile came to lips and finally my eyes gave up on me and I drifted asleep. 

                                                                  Nile Cale

     It was my first time staying the night with a girl, I would usually escape in the middle of the night but being able to stay in her bed was a euphoric feeling. The night we spent together was absolutely amazing. As the sun began to rise, it peaked rays of sunlight through the curtained windows. I wanted nothing but to stay in bed with her but as a familiar coldness engulfed my body I knew that it wasn't going to happen. 

      "Get up Nile!" I heard her hiss. Sleepiness still drowned my eyes as they danced across the ceiling. Autumn was nowhere near me and I was still drowning in her duvet. Reluctantly I sat up stretching my arms out while a yawn escaped my mouth. Autumn was speeding around her room like a madman picking up my clothes on the ground that found their way off me during our time together. The clothes that Adam threw up on were in her hands, it had made me wonder how long she was up. Her face was a bright shade of red and her eyes avoided looking into mine, I found her demeanor to be cute and tender. A smirk curled onto my lips and I watched her picking up my sweatpants. 

      "Goodmorni-" Before I was even able to finish a proper greeting Autumn threw my clothes at me, hitting my face unintentionally. Well that was the first, it felt like she was kicking me out. I pulled my shirt off my face before raising an eyebrow at her, she was finally able to look at me while fidgeting nervously with her fingertips. Even though I didn't want to leave the comfort of her bed, it was obvious that she didn't want me here. As she said last night, she didn't want to talk about anything that happened between us during those night hours. 

      "If you wanted me gone, you could just say it" I spat slipping on my original white shirt. I yanked the sweatpants off the bed and stepped into them swiftly. My eyes searched the room for my phone but was interrupted by her. 

      "That's not it-" Autumn started, my eyes made their way back to her. The softness in her voice made the rising anger disappear. She shrugged looking away from me, her eyes looked around the room trying to find something to say. 

      "You're acting like we had s*x. Listen, it was a small encounter between us" I said faintly. Me and Autumn didn't have s*x, surprisingly, I didn't feel like it was right to have s*x with her. Being in bed with her already felt so wrong, her moaning my name while she cummed on my fingers made me feel this heart wrenching guilt that killed me. A part of me felt like I was taking advantage of her.

      "So with all your female friends you-" Autumn snapped her head to look at me crossing her arms over her chest. 

        "I finger them as a token of our friendship, yes. After last night, I guess that makes us besties as you graciously accepted" I joked with a smirk on my lips but from Autumn's growing disgusted expression I sensed we didn't share the same humor. 

       "Jesus Autumn I'm kidding. But last night was amazing-" I walked up to her and she dropped her arms back down to her sides. She looked up at me, I wanted nothing but to get back into bed with her. Her rosy cheeks alerted me that she felt the same but was too embarrassed to admit it. 

      "Let's get back into bed?" I reached for her small petite hand. I could never get over the feeling of her skin, it was a drug that I couldn't stop myself from taking.       

      "Nile I have school-" She whispered faintly, I squeezed her hand and began walking backwards towards the bed pulling her with me. It was like I was battling myself on how I should be with Autumn. A part of me wanted to refrain myself from being s****l with her but the other half was ready to completely let myself go. My head nodded faintly not caring about that God forsaken building, 

      “There is no way you want to go back to that place when we could be exploring our new found friendship-” Autumn scoffed lightly at my comment and shook her head with a smirk on her lips. She pulled her hand out of mine and turned away from me.

      “No, last night was a one time thing. I have to get to school, and you-” She sighed gently rummaging through her drawers. She was trying her best not to sound rude but my feelings were getting a bit hurt. 

      “You do whatever you normally would do” She said finally turning back to me, even though that was literally the last thing I wanted to do, Autumn wasn’t in the mood to argue so I simply nodded my head. 

      “Okay, I’ll see you around then?” I said offering her a small smile. Autumn appreciated my kindness and she nodded vigorously with a wide smile on her face. Without wasting any more time, I gathered all of my belongings and exited her bedroom.

                                                            Autumn Marie Tyler

         "Autumn?-" Roxy blurted, it almost felt like I went back in time to relive last night. I pulled out of my memories and snapped back to reality. I didn't realize how much I dreaded school, I had completely wandered off in the middle of a class presentation. Roxy nudged my side and motioned her eyes to the task at hand. 

      “Yes, we had used different light patterns to see the effects it would have on the plants-” I said motioning to the science project we had been working on for the last few days. 

       “We used natural sunlight, an ultraviolet light, artificial light, and-” Midway way of my sentence, the door opened which caught everyone’s attention. A breath of relief escaped my lips knowing that all those eyes were no longer on me. I had no idea what Roxy was trying to do signing us up for a class presentation. 

      “Well, well, well, it's nice to have you back-” Our teacher said with a bit of laughter in his voice. 

       "I'll catch you up on the things you missed Mr. Cale, but until then take a seat and watch Autumn and Roxy's presentation" The mention of his name made me snap my neck and once I caught a glimpse of his eyes I froze. Nile had affected the entire class with his unexpected arrival. Of course a few girls whispered compliments about his new look, everyone had their eyes set on him, but the only person that seemed to catch his attention was me. 

      "With pleasure.." Nile said, smirking, he fixated an intense gaze on me. I found myself blushing intensely, not wanting to make a fool of myself, I cleared my throat and brought eyes back down to my project.

      Once the class bell rang, I shot out of my seat with my belongings and headed right towards the door. I was practically out of the door from when I was halted by my teacher.

      "Autumn can you stay a few minutes?" He asked, I wanted to say no but I figured that would've been rude, and who was I truly avoiding? Nile? No, I'm just a bit anxious knowing that him and I engaged in..sexual acts. I stepped back into the class and watched as my classmates went on exiting the class. Roxy smiled at me before leaving as well. My teacher was shuffling around on his desk. Meanwhile Nile was focused on skimming through the pile of papers he was given for his absence. 

      "I'm sorry Ms. Taylor, I must've given your research paper to another teacher by mistake-" He said coming around his desk and walking towards the door.

      "I'll be right back," He said before disappearing through the door frame. I was left with my jaw hanging with shock. I looked towards Nile who was preoccupied with the missing work he had to turn in. He didn't even pick up on my existence. Once again I cleared my voice but that didn't seem to phase him. So I slowly walked to the back of the class where his lap bench was located. I leaned onto the countertop across from him and smiled. 

      "Welcome back.." The close proximity of our bodies made him aware that I stood in the same room as him, alone. He had this clueless look on his face as his eyes widened shocked at the sight of me. 

      "Thanks.." He said with a bit of a sigh, he ran his fingers through his hair frustratedly and brought his eyes back down onto the papers.

       “A lot of people say you’re really smart, you’ll catch up in no time” I said trying to reassure him, he was noticeably stressed, I would be too if I had that much work to catch up on. The papers that were once spread across the table were put into a neat pile by Nile, he then looked up at me with an unreadable expression.

      “Yeah but for what? It’s not like my life is bound for success..” He breathed out, something was on his mind, Nile must’ve picked up on the growing concern in my eyes. He shook his head and looked away from me. It was like I knew nothing about Nile, I didn’t know how to comfort him or what to say to him.

      “I have a third lunch today, I’ll be in the library if you want to swing by. Only for a few minutes, I wouldn’t want to put a smudge on your flawless bad boy reputation” Just as I hoped, a small smirk came to his lips. Reluctantly he brought his eyes back to mine and laughed gently. 

      “You’re such a dork, who the hell has lunch in the library?” He teased as he stood up from his stool. I put my hand over my heart pretending to be offended and gasped dramatically.

      “I’ll have you know that I have lunch in the cafeteria, and all because I like the feeling of books all around me doesn’t mean I’m a dork. Hoodlums like you wouldn’t understand-” Nile’s eyebrows popped up at my words, he licked his lips with a wider grin. 

      “Well this hoodlum definitely knows the feeling that you like-” Before he could finish his sentence, I sent my balled up fist into his arm. Nile chuckled loudly following my reaction, I couldn’t help but blush knowing he was talking about last night. Nile threw his backpack over his shoulder and walked up to me.

       “I should get to my next class, I’ll see you whenever” I stepped out of Nile’s way and watched him travel down the aisle and out the class. I found myself smirking horrendously at the sight of him. The effect Nile had on me grew dangerously and I didn’t know how to process it.

       I had lunch in the library whenever my friends and I didn’t share the same lunch period. The library was always peaceful and quiet, I had made good friends with the librarians as well. Lighting was always superb for reading and journaling. I sat in the far far where a single table sat in front of a ceiling to floor window with bookshelves surrounding me. My nose was far deep inside the novel I was preoccupied with, I started to picture the book around me as my new reality. Reading and writing was my passion, being able to control my own words and bring them to life as exhilarating. 

       “Do you know how long it took me to find you? f*****g hell I’m exhausted!” I was frightened out of my book, the sudden booming voice made me drop my book onto the table and look at the disruption that I brought upon myself. 

       “SHH! It’s a library!”  I hissed in a low tone, Nile who was leaning against a bookshelf trying to catch his breath looked taken aback by my words. Nile pushed himself off the shelf and teasingly tip toed over to the table. He threw his backpack onto the table surface and crashed down into the seat across from me.

       “I didn’t think you were actually coming..” I admitted closing my book gently and resting my hands on top of it. As the day progressed I thought it was quite foolish of me to invite him to the library, I mean we’ve been able to sit down together but that was all before things started happening between us.

       “I wasn’t, then I realized how much I just wanted the peace and quiet-” Nile looked at me, his eyes were always able to draw me in effortlessly. My face grew in warmth as I continued to drown in his gaze.

       “I realized that wasn’t possible so your loud mouthed cute self was the next best thing” He joked causing the blush to leave my face almost immediately. I extended my foot to collide with his calf underneath the table and he groaned in pain, but somehow he was still able to chuckle.

      Time had passed quickly, I had gotten permission from the last few teachers to spend the rest of the day in the library. I was able to work on my work silently as Nile stared intensely at me. I tried to ignore it at first but it started to irritate me. A vast sigh escaped my lips, I laced my pen down on the table and looked up at him.

      “What?” Nile, who was leaning on the table, smirked at me before shaking his head and looking away. 

       “Don’t you have classes to get to?” I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back in my chair. Nile brought his eyes back to mine and he nodded.

       “Relax, I had already met with my teachers before coming here and they gave all the work I needed” My lips pressed tightly together and I looked back down at my math homework. I picked the pen back and began working on the problems once again. We sat in silence for a while, Nile had started working on the work he needed to catch up on. The only thing that could be heard was the scattered hushed conversations in the library and the scribbling of our writing utensils. It was like we were in some kind of trance, being so focused on the work in front of us. That was until the final bell rang and it snapped us both back to reality. A breath of relief escaped my lips knowing I completed another day of school. I stood up from my chair and grabbed my bag from the floor. Nile ran his fingers through hair as he too stood up from his seat. I shoved my textbooks into my bag. I couldn't help but look at the pile of work Nile was packing up. He looked exhausted, and worn out. Once done packing he threw his bag over his shoulder and turned away from me.

      “I’ll see you tomorrow..” He faintly said. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but the last thing I wanted was to see him go. Maybe I was growing attached to him.

      “There’s a party at some girl’s house..” I started, Nile immediately halted at my words and looked over his shoulder nodding his head.

      “I know, I planned on going. Her name is Brooke, you know her..” He replied. I knew of her, and didn’t like her but I wasn't going to correct his words. I almost felt like an i***t for asking or even mentioning it.

       “I was going to ask if you want to go to the diner, get a milkshake, have a talk, like the good old times. Everyone else will be at the party so-” I chuckled nervously hoping I wasn’t making a fool of myself, I had hoped he would say yes.

       “Nah, see you tomorrow” His voice was flat, I couldn’t tell if he was annoyed or frustrated. All I knew is that he left me there feeling embarrassed. Maybe he was too focused on getting caught up on the work he missed, but something felt really off. I kept my concerns to myself as I watched him walk out of the library not daring to give me another glance. Why was he so hot and cold with me? I wanted to think of possible explanations on why he would decline my invitation. Maybe I was expecting too much from him after last night, maybe things didn't change the way I had hoped. Right then and there I began to wonder what last night truly meant for me and Nile.

A few quick words from the Writer (Still read the author's note!)

I know a few of you have voiced your concerns about me taking too long to get to the good stuff, and yes that's on me. Yes, after so long, we finally get to see a softer side of the young teens. It's so hard having to write Autumn and Nile in a romantic view especially in the ways you guys want me too.