Her Future

Chapter Fourteen

October and Dean didnt say much to each other since that night, October when to work, went to appointments, went home. Dean, Milly or James was always there waiting for her. She no longer stayed at Deans place and had not since they had broken up, he asked her everyonce in a while when he would go back to his place, stating that he would feel better if she and his child were with him always, October didnt fall for that s**t, she always said no.

She wanted to give him a chance and to be able to have the family she'd always wanted, but she couldnt trust him anymore and she believed that was a big part of having someone, trust. She had worked hard through the time when her vacation with Dean was supposed to take place and Milly had been with her almost every night around that time of the month. 

The baby was doing well, October did everything the doctor had told her to do and she tried her best to be relaxed which seamed to not be very often when she was with Dean, she now had a little bump on her belly and it seemed he was crazy about it, he would always rub her belly and talk to the baby, if she wanted a bath he would run her a warm bath and put all her good smelling and relaxing oils in the water for her, he would light her candles and shut the door behind her when she would enter. 

She hadnt gotten anymore notes from Mark and she was wondering when he was going to strike again, it was now almost August and she was just a little over two months along, it was a rainy day and she decided to spend it inside her house doing some work but mainly just watching tv, when she got bored of that she turned on some music and started to dance around the house while cleaning, she did the dishes and put them in the dish washer, she scrubbed her counters and her stove while they washed, she put close into the washer also and the ones in the baskets were folded or hung and put away. 

She had bought some totes the other day for all her baby stuff and she had folded all its cloths and stored them safely along with its toys and bottles anything she had stocked up on went into safe totes so when she finally found a bigger house they would already be packed.

Sitting down at her desk she opened up her laptop and started to look for other houses again, she checked every week, knowing she wanted to get into one before the baby was born, there was one she had found a few days ago that she loved, and she always checked to see if it was still open, she knew alone she couldnt afford it, it was a four bedroom house with a full basement, big bay windows looking out over the ocean, and behind it was a lush forest, the house was two stories also had two bathrooms. She was still mulling over the thought of talking to Dean about it, with his pressuring her about being around her and the baby almost everyday she was wondering if he would want to move.

She didnt want to deny him his child and the fact that he wanted to be around it everyday even before it was born made her heart melt and she was leaning more towards seeing if he wanted to coparent in the same house with her, but this was a big step for both of them and she was still thinking about it, that thought process sped up a little when she saw there were two possible buyers. She would have to talk to Dean, she wanted this house, for her future and her baby's future. The rest would fall into place.

As she kept looking through the photos over and over loving it even more Dean had showed up for his time with protecting her, as he walked in she looked over at him and shot him a smile, then went back to browsing.

When he walked in he seen her with her glasses on the bridge of her nose a cup of tea beside her and her face in her laptop again, What was she looking at? he wondered, then she looked at him and gave him a little smile and his heart jumped, he was doing as much as he could for her and his baby, she kept shooting him down about moving in with him and about staying at his place, she was a hard ball and wanted to be in her place, he also knew she was still looking for a house for the future and she wasnt having any luck, maybe thats what she was doing, he thought as he took his coat off and hung it up, removing his shoes as well and keeping them by the door.

"How are you feeling today? and how is our bean?" he asked her walking over and quickly rubbing her belly, then going to get a cup of coffee.

"We're good." she said then took her glasses off and shut the laptop following him into the kitchen, "Hey Dean?" she said timidly.

He was pouring a cup of coffee, once he was done he turned around and leaned agenst the counter drinking, "Yeah?" he replied wondering what was on her mind, she was chewing at her bottom lip, something she only did when she was nervous and was thinking about something she wasnt sure about, his heart jumped again.

"So i found a house." she said to him.

His heart sank, "Ok." he stated.

She sighed, "It's perfect, big and beautiful just the right size, well maybe a bit to big but thats ok," she rambled on.

"What is it October," he said.

She paused for a minute and looked at him, she took in his features his grey eyes were tired, he had a beard starting to come through his handsome face, his hair was in every direction, she decided to just do it and ask him, "It's the house on the edge of town the only one for sale." she stated.

Dean nodded, "I know that one, it is nice, expensive." he said.

She nodded, "Yes, so here is the thing, i cant afford it on my own, i mean i have alot of cash still saved up from working at the lawfirm but it would take everything i have to move over." she started.

Dean cut in, "Do you need money?" he asked her.

This made her heart melt, if only the man knew where she was going with this, "Yes and no." she said.

He sighed, "Then what is it woman spit it out." he said to her.

"I want us to move in there together split cost and raise the baby together, not be together but coparent, like you have wanted." she blurted out nervously.

"You want to do this there but not my place?" he asked her.

She sighed again, "Look Dean, if we are going to do this i want OUR place not yours not mine ours yours is a great place it has room, but his has alot of room so if we needed time away from each other we could have it and still be in the same house." she said to him.

Dean thought about it for a minute and she had a point, he couldnt say it was a bad idea, infact he kind of liked it, "Ok, We'll put our bid in tomorrow, if we get it well sell these two houses and move." he told her.

She just stared at him, she knew he would like the idea of living with her but she thought he would put up a bigger fight about his place than he did, she was wrong, "Really?!" she said excitedly.

"Yes." he said laughing.

October squealed in excitement and ran to him and jumped in his arms hugging him, both laughing at her outburst of excitement. October pulled away, forcing herself out of his harms because as she tugged he held tighter, when she finally got out she said, "Thank you Dean."

His smile was a little sad, "Your welcome, but you know whats better than a thank you?" he asked her a grin appearing on his face.

She smiled back, "What?"

"A kiss." he said to her.

She busted up laughing, "Yeah right fly boy." she said.

He smiled, "Seriously right here," he stated tapping on his cheek, October just giggled and rolled her eyes but leaned in to kiss his cheek, at the last minute he moved his head and captured her lips, missing the way they felt, the way they fit agenst him, he groaned and pulled her back into his arms.

Stunned October just rested her hands on his chest, as if to push him away, but the more he kissed her the weaker she got, his kiss was so soft, so passionate when she let him in he ran is tongue along hers deepening it, taking her breath away, it was filled with all of his emotions for her, he didnt know how to tell her so he just showed her in the kiss. 

All of his love all of his regret, all of his longing for her was expressed in that one kiss, her heart was soring and breaking at the same time, she wanted this man. She couldnt trust this man, everytime she thought she could try she would remember what happened the last time, and with that she ended the kiss and stepped back, she looked up at him all of her emotions in her eyes, the hurt he seen there sliced him in two, he knew he f****d up, this was the first give she had given him since, and she was abou to take it away again.

"Please, dont do that again." she told him in a broken whisper.

"I cant," he replied just as quietly.

"This isnt going to work Dean, if this keeps happening." she stated she knew it was a lie, she would fall back into him if he kept kissing her and she feared he knew that.

"I just want us October, you, me, our child. im tired of being away from you. i want to hold you everynight i want to sleep next to you, make love to you." he said stepping closer.

"Stop." she begged.

"No, I know you want me as well, and i think you love me back and are to afraid to admit it. what is stopping you from taking me back?" he asked her.

With a tear in her eyes she looked up at him. "I cant trust you to stick around when life gets hard." she stated.

"But you want to live together October, and i understand the reasonings behind it, a part of you wants me, i will f**k up im a man i tend to do these things, but ive never wanted to fix it until you." he said to her.

She knew he was telling the truth, her friends, his family have all told her the same thing, "I dont know Dean." she said walking away from him trying to think.

"I wont leave you agian." he promised.

"I dont know, how to feel or what to think." she said to him despratley. "You have been wonderful these past few weeks, but is it just to get me back? will you change again after?" she asked him.

He had a good comeback, "I'll tell you what, we try this again, if i change or f**k up you can hound me about it everyday, if i try to leave, which i wont you can call it quits kick me out of the house what ever and ill stand by it. All i want is a chance, a chance to love you." he said to her.

She looked at him, just looked at him, she could tell what he said was straight truth, he ment it and he wanted it, he hadnt let her down since he knew about the baby...maybe...."Let me take a day alright? just to think about it?" she asked him.

He smiled at her relieved, "Take what ever day you want." he said to her.

After that things went back to the way they were for the rest of the day Milly came over when it was time for Dean to go to work, the two women watched romance movies all evening ate take out and just talked. "So are you and Dean getting back together yet?" Milly asked her friend.

October laughed, " I dont know for sure im still thinking, we are though moving in together," she said and watched her friends spring up from her seat with excitement in her face, "I found this house on the out side of town ocean in front forrest in back, i cant afford it just me and i think he has a good point about coparenting so i asked him tobuy it with me and he said yes, we call them tommorrow." she told her friend.

"Thats f*****g awsome!" she screamed making October laugh. "You should though you know." she said while sitting back down on the chair.

October looked at her brow raised, "I should what?" 

"Take him back, all he does is talk about you and show off pictures of you with your little bump he is so proud of you and his baby." she said looking at October.

October smiled, "Is that right?" she asked intrigued.

"It is, he truely loves you Tobie, we have been close our whole lives the only other woman ive ever seen him love was me and that is different, he didnt love Ez or any other girl, but he loves you." she stated.

"I love him also, and i think i can trust for him to atleast stay in the baby's life." she said.

Milly grinned, "Thats my girl, get your man quit being shy." she said to her.

October laughed, "Yeah good luck with that." she said to her friend.

She had made up her mind though she wouldnt tell him untill after she talked to the people about the house, she wanted to surprise him. So she started to clean up a little bit and get ready for bed, after she wished her friend a good night and her and the dog retired to her fluffy bed. Laying there looking up at the sieling, she thought of Dean, how she had missed how he held her after s*x the way he has treated her since he found out about the baby. Her love for him had grown in just a few weeks form where it had been when he had told her he needed time from her. Though the past still hurt she owed it to her baby and to herself to be as happy as possible.