Her Future

Chapter Twelve

October spent the next few days sick and in bed, she couldnt keep anything down Percy was crying and laying his head over the baby growing in her belly, he seemed to bring her a sense of ease. She had made a doctors appointment to find out why she couldnt keep anything down, and she also decided to invite Milly, who still didnt know and would be pleasently surprised when they did the ultrasound.

"Why are we walking to the doctors?" she asked her.

"Because i cant shake this sick feeling ive been having." she said to her friend.

Milly looked at October, her eyes were shadowed from lack of sleep and a little puffy from crying, a woman could tell these things and she blamed it on her i***t friend, she didnt understand why she wanted her to come with, but she had been worried about her being locked up in her house for the last few days and wanted to make sure she was ok, also she wanted to make sure she actually went out of the house.

"Well ok." she said as they walked along the side walk, when they reached the little clinic they walked in and sat down after checking in. They waited for what seemed like hours, when finally a woman named Pam walked out and called for October, Milly became confused, Pam was an OBGYN not any other doctor.

As they walked down the hall and was lead into a room it suddenly hit her, she waited for Pam to leave to grab a few things and she rounded on her friend, "Your f*****g pregnant?!" she screeched.

October grabbed her ears, "Well yeah." she said with a small smile as she watched her friends shocked face, "But thats only half of why i wanted you here, i need someone with me on this, I need my childs god mother." she said to her.

Milly started crying and hugged her friend telling her that she would do anything, "Have you told Dean, Tobie?" she asked her.

"No, I havent." she said to Milly.

"Why the f**k not!" she yelled.

October looked taken back at the holler coming from her friend, had she not known what the hell was going on? so she asked her that, "Do you not know what is going on? he broke up with me over my f*****g past, and after i let him cool off for a day he refused to answer my calls, i have tried to call him Milly, hes is choosing to distance himself, and i wont chase him, he made his feelings clear the day of the BBQ." she said and laid back on the table waiting for the doc to come back.

Milly sighed, "Alright i get it, im sorry i yelled." she stated.

"It's alright i probably would have also." she said giggling.

Pam cam back into the room, "Ok my dear what seems to be the issue?" she asked.

"Well as you know im about 6 weeks along, but here recently i cant seem to eat anything without tossing it back up." she told the doc. "I cant even get out of bed most days." she said with a chuckle.

Pam followed the chuckle, "Sweety that is normal some women are just more drained than others, as for not eating just drink some Pediolight and take small bites of food here and there, smoke some pot if you need to to help." she stated to her which made October and Milly laugh.

"Lets take a look at the little bean again just in case shall we?" she asked October.

"Yes please." she said and lifted her shirt.

All three women watched the screen as she searched for any signs of bad news, she found none and sent October on her way feeling much better than she had in days. "Thank you Milly." she said to her friend.

"Anytime girl, im sorry about Dean, hell come around soon the man is over the damn moon for you." she said to October.

October wanted to believe it, but if it were true he wouldnt have ignored her calls. he would have been trying to find a way to work this out with her, but he stayed away, he ignored her. Being pregnant ment that she couldnt go on any dives with the sharks, but she was alright with that, she just stayed on the boat doing research and uploading data, she stayed away form all chemicals at her job that could harm the baby. The only person who didnt know she was pregnant was Dean and that was because she asked everyone to not tell him, she wanted him to come to her on his own.

The next morning she was getting ready to take Percy on a walk, today they were going to spend the day together and just have fun her dog was going to help her get her mind off of stupid men and stupid events.

That was until she opened her door to see a severed cat head laying on top of another note, Percy growled and she screamed slamming the door shut she ran to the phone on her desk and called James, in no time at all he was right there at her door looking at the dead animal, "What does the note say?" he asked her.

"I havent touched it i have no idea." she said to him. so he put a glove on and lifted the note and read it to her.

"i see you have left the mother fucker who has put his hands all over what is ment to be mine, good girl maybe i wont be so hard on you after all xoxo."

"I feel sick," she said and ran to the bathroom to throw up.

James followed her holding her hair back as she vomited in the toilet. "There there itll be alright." he said rubbing her back.

When she was done all she did was bring up her knees and buried her face in them, she started to cry, silent broken tears. James couldnt help it, his brother had to know and she needed him. so he sent him a text, 'bro at Tobers house bad news come." was all he sent. 'omw' was sent back to him. "C'mon Tober, lets go to the couch and sit." he said after her cries became sniffles.

He helped her up and was holding her all the way to the couch when his brother burst through the door, "What the f**k is going on?" he asked his brother and October. James sat her down and walked over to his brother.

"The fucker left another note this time held down with a cat head on her front porch," he told him and then he replayed what the letter had said.

Dean felt a bit of the asswipe he was, he had left her to deal with this and that sick f**k knew it. Dean hadnt been able to stop thinking of her like he had hoped he hadnt been able to sleep without her as he had hoped he even ignored her when she tried to call him, nothing helped he loved her and like the i***t he was he had walked away, now she needed him and he didnt know if she would want him around, he slowly made his way over to her. "Hey little one." he said softly and sat next to her, he tried to hold her but she just got up and walked to the kitchen. f**k.

He too stood up and called the bar, "Millz, close the bar....I dont give a s**t about who is there close it tell them an emergency came up then get your ass to Octobers, she needs us, she needs you." he told her, he knew that was all he had to say this his friend, she loved October, and in a short hour she had arrived.

"Where is she?" she demanded form the men, as she turned around October came out of the kitchen and Milly ran to her, "Oh sweety." she said and hugged her tight.

October wasnt crying anymore but she deffinatly needed her friend here, she hadnt paid any attention to Dean since he had been there, she didnt want his touch or his bullshit words he had left her when she needed him the most, she had tried to reach out and he had denied her the compassion of listening to her, of hearing he was to be a father. She didnt know the type of man who could do that to another and not be the same type of man her ex husband was.

They all filled in Milly as October made dinner for all of them and coffee. She wasnt going to be rude and kick Dean out even if she didnt want him there, but she also wouldnt talk to him much. Since there were four of them there she decided to make steaks on the grill with some asparigus , mushrooms and baby reds. she wanted and needed a good hearty meal she was feeding for two and then the other dults.

She was outside with Percy when Milly came out shortly after. "Hey girl, how are you and our bean?" she asked her rubbing her belly as she spoke.

October smiled and hugged her friend, "Were ok." she said to her.

"You havent talked much," Milly stated.

"I know I just dont have much to say i guess." 

"Do you think we should tell him?" Milly asked.

October knew what and who she was talking about, "Maybe, i have been pondering it for the last few hours." she said.

"Ok well heads up mommas he was guna make his way out here." she said to her, Milly kissed her cheek and went back inside to play with Percy.

And sure enough a few minutes later Dean walked out. looking at her back, she was standing there in a light green dress that flowed down to her knees, it was strapless and her hair was thrown up again in the high bun, she was facing the grill with the spatchula in her hand but her face was looking out to the sea. He wanted badly to walk up behind her and wrap his arms around her, he also knew she would probably clober him with the objects in her hand if he had tried, he had f****d up, he needed to make it right. As he watched her for a few minutes he smiled to himself, he could tell she had put on some weight, and she wasnt wearing any shoes he cute tiny feet spread apart a little ways. Even now she made him smile.

"Hey," he said walking up beside her.

She glanced at him her eyes distant, "Hey." she said back and scooted away from him a little. "How are you doing little one?" he asked.

October shrugged. "As well as i can be, how are you?" she asked him, looking back at the food slowly cooking on the grill, she always like to cook slow, she had told him it was because patience made the best food, she was right. "Im a little rough, October we need to talk." he said to her.

She put the spatula down, "Why?" she asked him.

"Because I was wrong." he said stepping closer.

She just turned and walked away from the grill and from him to the other side of the porch were her coffee was sitting. "I called you." she stated.

"I know." he said.

She turned around, "So you were ignoring me." she said to him.

Dean looked down at his shoe, "Yes." he admitted.

"Why?" she asked in a whisper.

" I was angry, with you with me how i had handled things, i thought i needed space from you so i could figure out how i felt, i was confused on how i felt for you." he stated.

" And how do yo feel?" she asked him.

"I have missed you." he said.

She had wanted to hear that so much, but it didnt fix the hurt like she hoped it would have, so she looked at him and told him what he chose not to listen to, "I'm Pregnant Dean." she said, then she just waited.

Dean couldnt help the look of shock on his face, he just stood there looking at her as if she had grown three heads. This is why she had called him? and he had ignored it? what the hell was wrong with him, he had thought to hemself. No longer was he angry at her but more angry at him self. "How long?" he asked.

With most people it would have confused them the way he had asked her, but she understood, "6 weeks, i knew the day i showed up with the first letter." she told him, "I wanted to tell you then, after we had talked about Mark and the letter." 

"And i left you." he said barely a whisper.

October nodded, "You left me." she agreed.

It was like a new wave of energy took over him. "Dont get rid of it." he said, "I want to be here for it, for you i want us, im so f*****g sorry." he said to her.

October smiled, this is what she wanted, but now it was her that wasnt sure she wanted him. "I knew you would, i never planned to get rid of it, i had planned to tell you sooner you just wouldnt let me, as for us?" she said "Right now there isnt an us." she stated. walking back over to flip the steaks.

He felt the air leave him again, "October." he said.

"No Dean, you chose to leave, i understand why, i dont understand why again you chose to shove me aside, and because of that what we had is gone. But i wont keep your child from you i can promise you that, you'll be a great father, we just wont be together." she said.

"No, please i am so so damn sorry." he begged.

She turned towards him and looked him in the eye, "No Dean, you are right, we are over, all i need from you is to be a father." she said, she pulled all the cooked food off the grill and took it inside, "It's time to eat." she said.

He walked inside and before he sat he knelt at her feet and pressed the side of his face to her belly and smiled, "Mine." he said and he just hugged her.

She wasnt sure she wanted him to be doing this, but she also knew it was his child growing inside of her, so she told herself to let him comfort himself let him hugs his baby, everyone smiled at the two of them and after a little while James hugged Dean and congradulated the both of them, then they all ate dinner. They chose to watch movies after arguing with October about them all staying with her.

October would have sat on the couch next to Milly but Dean sat down also and left the spot between them open, she smiled at him when he guesterd for her to sit next to them, and she moved to the recliner on the other side of the coffee table. Seeing Deans face almost had her changing her mind, almost, she had to stay strong when it came to him, she had to keep him at arms length or he would have the power to hurt her again or even more than he had already.

As the other two were laughing watching the comedy on the tv Dean looked over at the woman who had his heart, she was passed out on the chair she chose to sit in, he just watched her sleep, she looked so sad, he thought to himself as he watched her sleep, deciding when the movie was over to carry her to bed, she stirred a little but kept asleep as he laid her down on her bed and covered her up, "I loved you." she mumbled in her sleep he almost missed it, but when she said it he just stopped and sat beside her to see if she was waking up, instead he noticed she was dreaming.

He felt as low as he could after what she had said, had she loved him? had he lost her for good? if so how does one fall out of love with another so fast? At that moment in time he didnt care that she did want to be with him, this woman was carrying his child, he loved this woman with everything he was, he had f****d up but all he wanted now was to hold her.

He climbed on the bed behind her and held her, what ever dream she was having seemed to have left her brain as she snuggled closer, Dean kissed her neck and let himself fall asleep as well.