Her Future

Chapter Twenty

Her music had captivated the entire bar that night, having everyones attention made performance that much better. After the show had ended and everyone left James had invited everyone to a bbq which she wasnt going to go to until he had mentioned Jake wanted her there, the dang kid pulled at her heart strings so much, he could get anything out of her just by asking she melted at everything he did, it was like his fathers powers over her as well, only she still liked the boy.

So she decided to go dressing in shorts and a tank top after showering. she didnt care about doing her make up or hair, she didnt have the need to look good for him so she didnt bother. When she got there James quickly cornered her, "Where is Jake?" she asked not looking at him.

"Outside with the others." he told her.

"Alright, i'll see ya out there." she said and tried going around him but he just kept moving to block her. "Get the hell out of my way." she said to him with her teeth clenched.

"No, we need to talk." he said to her.

"Man it seems like all you want to do these days is talk." she replied and tried to flee again.

This time he grabbed her arm. "Your damn straight, i keep trying to get you to talk to me and all you do is run." he said annoyed.

"Well you would know all about running." she mumbled and crossed her arms over her chest. "What the hell do you want James?" she asked him when she realized he wasnt going to let her pass.

"Stop this Millz." he said to her having enough of her attitude, "Stop running from me then lashing out when im around, its getting old."

"Well so is this, ill stop running and snipping at you when you leave me be." she said to him eye brow raised.

James started to laugh, "I have missed you Milly." he said to her.

"Well stop, because i stopped missing you awhile ago now again what do you want?" she asked.

James sighed running his hands through his hair, "I want to say im sorry, for everything i did, for what i said." he told her looking at her face.

Pain flashed over her fast and hot at his words, "Ok, now can i go?" she asked him, just stay strong, she told herself he couldnt have power over her.

"No damn it Millz, im trying to tell you i lied to you when i left, i didnt mean it when i said i didnt love you." he blurted out watching her face drain of color.

"Why the hell would you lie about something like that?" she asked him shook to her core.

"I dont know, i guess it was because i was scared because of the past mainly, and i was scared over the custody battle for Jake, i panicked." he told her.

"That just makes you a bigger asshole." she told him, "I truely have nothing to say to you after that so im not sure what you want from me." she said.

"I know i cant ask for it but i am Milly i want forgiveness, i want you back, Jake wants you back." he said to her.

She snapped her eyes to him, they were burning with rage, "Dont you dare use Jake as a ploy to get me back James, he didnt have a choice for not being around me that was all you. and no you dont get the respect for that, but if that is what will make you happy then fine, i forgive you." she said to him, then she held up a hand with a bitter chuckle, "No James i said i forgive you, i do not however want you back, just so you can what? leave me again later? i think ill be alright." she said, "Now im done with this conversation you got half of what you wanted now let me the f**k outside so i can see your son before i break a window." she said walking to the back door, looking out over the grass at the two little boys playing.

She felt him walk up behind her, thankfully he hadnt touched her or said a single word as he reached around and unlocked the door, just as she was about to head out the door he grabbed her again and spun her to look at him he said, "No nothing is ok and nothing is fine, you cant deny how we are together, you cant deny the way this feels," he said right before he kissed her.

The kiss started urgent and hard, then as she melted and let him in it softened all the sadness and love poored out for the two of them, then she was done and she pushed him away from her breathing heavy, "You  chose to deny all of that James, you denied me, you denied Jake, you took everything i was when you left, please dont ruin me again i am just getting back to myself." she said a tear falling down her face.

He had no choice but to let her go, he had only seen the woman cry a handful times, and none of those times had he made her cry, this time it was his fault and all he wanted to do was kick his own ass for hurting her heart the way he had. But he wasnt going to give up, he loved her, he would give her space and when he couldnt give anymore he would convince her she needed him again, he had to she was his other half, she was made for him and for his son, his only major life regret was that he hadnt noticed her before he had noticed Jakes mother, if he could go back, Jake would be her child and they would be married still. but he couldnt go back, he could only go forward, so thats what he did he walked outside and spent the cook out watching her with the boys until it was time for everyone to leave, not giving him a second glance after tucking his son in she left as well and he let her go feeling like the lowlife that he was.

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After the BBQ she decided she needed a few days away, taking the weekend off she headed to Portland to see her parents, she was thinking over what had happend the night before, how could he just think it was ok to kiss her? to even ask for her to forgive him at all was a strech. She had missed the way his lips felt on hers and the way he had looked at her, having both of those she caved when he had kissed her.

Shaking her head to try and clear the thoughts she made the trip to her parents house pulling up to their little one bedroom house. Not taking anytime at all she grabbed her bag and walked right in, "Mom? Dad? im here!" she hollered out.

"In the kitchen sweety." her mother hollered back at her, making her smile. "Hey guys." she said as she walked in and hugged both her parents, this time she hadnt told James where she was going, kind of as a little pay back she thought to herself.

"How are you guys?" she asked her parents.

They both smiled and her mother said, "Were as good as always my dear." 

Milly smiled, "Thats good." she walked over and started to help her mother with lunch.

"So what do we owe the pleasure to of seeing you again after just a little while?" her father asked.

Milly shrugged, "I just needed out of town for a few days." she said not being entirely truth full.

Her dad hummed, "Does it have something to do with a James moving back?" he asked her.

Milly looked at her father, they were more than happy to know that her and James had finally found each other, they had said they always hoped they would because like them it was a perfect fit, and they were right, until he tossed her aside, and instead of relying on her friends to help pick her back up she had taken off for a month to her parents house, they had always seemed to know what to do and what to say, Needless to say when her father found out he was pretty pissed. "Yea, it might." she said to them.

Then she watched as both her parents looked each other, sharing a look that set her a little on edge, "What was that about?" she asked them pointing between the two of them.

Her mother cleared her throat and turned to Milly, "Look sweety, we knew you needed a weekend, and we didnt want to deny you, but just so you know we invited the family over for lunch and dinner tonight." she told Milly.

Milly froze, family meant one thing, Dean, October, James and the kids. "Why didnt you tell me damn it guys i dont want to be around him!" she hollered at them both.

"Dont yell at us young lady, we havent seen James either since he left, we want to see the boys and the kids." Her father said in a stern voice, "Now we know how you feel but we made these plans before you even decided to stay the weekend and it is one night and you will be nice in this house Millicent Lynn." her father said in his no bullshit tone.

Milly wenched because he even used her full name, nobody used it she hated it, but when her parents did it ment she f****d up and went to far, "Alright, i'm sorry i yelled ok." she said looking down.

Her father made his way over to her and hugged her, "He doesnt know your hear darling." he said to her.

Oh that was awsome, she thought now he would be super mad. The thought of that actually made her feel pretty good inside. f**k him let him be mad, "When do they show up?" she asked her parents.

As if right on cue the door bell rang, she groaned, her dad coughed in a warning and her mother let them in hugging everyone and picking up both boys. James came in last, and when he walked into the kitchen after hugs he saw the woman who made his heart stop the moment he found out she was gone, and sure enough, he got pissed. "Milly?" he said looking at her and his son grin at each other, when she turned her head her smile fell. He stepped towards her as she put Jake down but was stopped by her father.

"We need to talk James." he said in a flat tone. James knew he was in for it, one last look at Milly and he left with her father, his second father. When they were in the living room he turned to James and smacked the side of his head.

"Ow what the fu-" he started.

"If you know whats good for you boy you wont finish that word." Her father told him, James shut up this man was not one to f**k with, "I thought i raised you better James Aurthur." he said using his full name as well.

James swallowed. "Sir?" he asked rubbing his head.

"You, i raised you better than to lie and run off on a woman who needs you." he said to him, pretty pissed at the situation.

James looked to the floor. "I know, i know you did and im sorry. Ive told Milly a million times how sorry i am, she wont give me the time of day." he said to his foster father.

"Of corse she didnt, she is a stuborn one the girl and wont repeat what could harm her nature, she has changed because of what you did. You my boy broke my only daughter." he said to him coming up close to his face, "Now hear me out boy, i love you as if you are my true son, but if you dont find a way to fix it with my daughter, to make her better after what you have done to her, i will let my wife casterate you." he said to him.

Believing every word the old man said he nodded, "Yes sir, i am trying my best, I love her." he said to him looking back at the kitchen.

Her father saw his look and went soft for this boy, "If its true that you do, then just give her time, and keep wooing her." he said to him, when James looked back at him he said, "I know my daughter, and i know she still loves you its all over her face when you are around, just give her time but not space." he said to him. 

James nodded at him and they went back to the kitchen, Milly wasnt there, again she had left with out telling him and this was getting old, he put his hands on his hips and shook his head, October came over to him wabbling a bit at her big belly, she nudged his shoulder, "Shes in the back yard with the boys." she told him. 

He nodded at her and went to find the woman who haunted his dreams. He found her sitting on the porch railing watching the boys with a small smile on her face, he walked up and sat next to her, both their feet dangling. He looked at her, her smile had faded and the sadness of being near him showed through, she couldnt keep her feelings from him, they were always all over her face, it was a tick she hated but one he adored, "You left, and you  didnt tell me." he stated looking at her.

She briefly glanced his way, "I didnt see the need to tell you anything." she said, kicking her feet back and forth.

James shook his head, "This needs to stop Milly." he said to her.

"I agree." she said back.

"That is not what i ment, you need to stop avoiding this." he said motioning between the two of them.

This time she turned her head and looked at him, "There is no 'this'." she stated doing the same hand gester.

"Yes there is and its about damn time you admit it, Milly im not going anywhere," he said to her.

Milly just laughed at him, "Yea, ive heard this before James."

"f*****g stop Milly," he raised his voice but not to a yell just to get her attention, she raised her eye brow, so he grabbed her face and turned it to him not letting her move. "I am not going anywere, i f****d up i know i did, with you with Jake. I'm sitting here admiting i f****d up, I am also sitting here telling you that i want you, i need you, Jake needs you. And you can say i am using my son a ploy but its just the damn truth, that boy loves the hell out of you and so do i." he said to her.

Realization clicked in her eyes and he knew he had her, she slowly pulled her head away, "Fine." was all she said and looked back out to were his son was.

"Fine what Milly? Are you willing to work things out with me?" he asked her.

She sighed and shook her head and he felt his world fall, "No James i am not, but maybe i can snipe a little less." she said to him.

"How about a date Milly." he asked her grabbing her hand.

It felt so good to have his hand in hers, so she didnt pull away, she just looked at him, "I am not ready James." she said to him.

This look she gave him he could understand it, it is how he felt after Jakes mother had left him, so he nodded, "Alright, but i intend on seeing you everyday anyways, Jake prefers it, so do i." he said to her.

She nodded, "Alright, but not this weekend." she said to him.

"What the hell do you mean?" he asked her.

She laughed a little. "I am staying here, i just need some space." she said to him.

He didnt like the tought of her being a few hours away from him, but he wasnt going to push her. as of right now he wasnt her boyfriend, just a man who wanted her. "Oh, ok. what ever you need." he said to her. "There is one thing i need from you Milly." he said looking at her and turning her face to look at him.

"What?" she asked, her breath stopped as he moved closer.

"I just want on small kiss." he said before his lips took hers. 

She didnt have a choice as he took her lips in a passionate deep kiss, he knew she loved it when he did this and he kissed her slowly and deeply, it made her head fuzzy and her heart pound, she also knew he could get what ever he wanted from her if he kept it up, so she pushed him back after a few moments, "No, i need more." he said and started to close in again.

Milly pushed him again, "No, James." she said firmly.

He sighed and nodded, "Thank you for that at least." he said to her and hugged her. she was a little stiff to the touch but he knew he had her, he had just to give her the time she needed here, when she was home he was going to start dating her, the thought made him smile, his smile grew bigger when Jake looked at her and made a heart with his hands to her, she did the same. How could someone not love this woman? She was perfect, for him, for his son. He would always regret the day he walked away from her, but he would never regret her being in his life.

After awhile lunch was done, after they ate they all went to the beach with the kids, Milly sat on the sand with a book and everyone else played, he laughed when he say Jake approche her and whisper her name when she looked up she had a split second to throw the book as he leaped at her laughed as he did it. If he could get her back, as close to as he had her before, he would marry this woman.