Their traded family

8. Help

Hope's P.O.V

My gaze was somewhere straight ahead, the lines between actually seeing and staring off into nothingness blurring even for me. I had no idea if someone had noticed by now. I didn't particularly care.

It hadn't hit me yet. Not this morning, not when I talked with my father, and certainly not while I was running in wolf form or eating cake. It hadn't hit me until I actually had to sit still in complete silence with no adrenaline to rely on and nothing to distract my thoughts. Sure, in my mind, I knew that all those secrets I found out had been horrible, had literally been matters of life and death, but it hadn't hit me what it truly meant.

Ever since it did, however, it's been all I could think about. All I could hear, all I could see. The evilness was everywhere. It coated my tongue and plagued my mind, took control of my body until I was nothing more than a robot determined to go on a suicide mission. And that's certainly what it was because I would either get justice for Alana or join her.

"Hope?" I didn't bother acknowledging the voice. Perhaps if whoever had called my name deemed me distracted enough, they'd leave me to rot.

Only for tonight, I promised myself, I would only allow the dark fog clung to my skin like ashes to possess me only tonight. But are any promises kept? Were any promises kept? Certainly not to my birth mother, to my aunt, not even to Aunt Rosalie, whom I can't even remember anymore.

Apparently, she was my favorite. Maybe I'd promised her she'd always be.

The thing about promises I started to learn just yesterday was that almost no one kept them. And maybe I wouldn't either. I promised Alana I'd bring her justice, that by coming here, to the pack where she died in the hands of a male who bought her as if she was no more than a rag doll, I'd find out the truth and avenge her; that should he have hurt more females, made them more pups, I'd help them, but would I be able to?

"Hope?" I raised my head as the voice grew louder. Aunt Sofia stood next to me, caressing my arm. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." No. "Just tired." Lie. Oh well, there were worse things in the world than sparing my sweet aunt the truth of the world and the pack she lived in.

"You shifted for the first time yesterday, then woke up at sunrise to come here, in a car with these sweet pups," Uncle Julian smiled, gesturing to Beyla and Noah with a secret wince; their reputation was far spread, "you're bound to be tired." I nodded, my aunt, continuing to rub my arm.

It was only then that I noticed my uncle had been watching me. It wouldn't have been strange - usually, he kept his gaze on his mate more often than not, but this time, it didn't stray to my aunt, not for a single moment. His blue, calculating gaze was on me alone. I met it, silently asking him why he was looking at me before he cleared his throat.

"Why don't you get an early night, redhead?" He suggested with a sigh. I was only too eager to be excused, and although he was more my uncle than he was my Alpha, I didn't want to disrespect him. I'd need access to files only he could give me, after all, and he was my favorite uncle. Tied with Uncle Knox, of course.

Aunt dropped her hand and went back to her seat as I rushed out of mine and went to kiss his cheek, then hugged Uncle Julian. Technically, Julian and Zane weren't my uncles, but that was only biologically, and in my case, biology was a mere inconvenience. Every single wolf I loved, or even liked, besides my aunt Dali and her twins, shared no relation with me, and yet that never stopped me from loving them. So what if Uncle Julian wasn't actually a part of the family,or hadn't been for a long time, anyway; he'd played with me when I was a pup and had always been kind when I visited. I had no problem considering him one.

The rest of the wolves having dinner with the Alpha family, and me, I wasn't close with. Uncle and aunt's Gamma couple, Ezra and Enzo, along with their daughters Alessandreah and Alessandra, were kind too, but kept mostly to themselves. Especially the twins. Ale and Rhea never liked me, so their kindness spread to not glaring at me or stealing my toys when I was younger. I didn't take offense, though; they didn't like anyone besides their fathers. And I could understand why.

The girls were adopted nine years ago, when they'd barely turned six, by the Gamma couple. Before that, they'd been adopted into another family, but as far as I knew, were heavily bullied about being adopted by the other pups in their school. Their pack was small, so there was no other school they could be moved to, and when the bullying got physical and their parents more and more absent, the twins were placed with Ezra and Enzo, who were looking to start a family anyway.

Uncle Zane told Beyla and me that despite Ale and Rhea not having a mother but two fathers, they were loved, no matter if they were blood or not. He told the story only to us, never to anyone else, not even Uncle Knox and Aunt Dali's daughters. Years later when I'd asked about it, he said it was because he wanted us to think of his words if we ever felt anything less than adored by our parents.

We never did.

Aunt Sofia raised Beyla since she was just a newborn, and my cousin has known no mother but her. Uncle Zane takes her to visit Rose's grave every year, however, and tells her stories about her mom so she'd never forget her. She considers herself a pup with three parents - two moms and a dad - instead of two. I was just a newborn when my parents adopted me, too, so I've known no love but my parents'. It's always been plenty for us, and even though Beyla has a brother, their fights have never been about who shares blood with their mother.

Ezra and Enzo made sure the twins were loved beyond what they could ever imagine. The girls were never bullied in Silver Claws, Uncle Zane made sure of it, but even now after so many years of being safe, they're quiet and shy, talking only to one another, protecting themselves from anyone not in their immediate family. As far as I knew, they missed some meals with my uncle and his family.

"Hope?" Uncle Julian called as I pushed my chair back, ready to leave the room. "You didn't eat anything, are you sure you're tired enough to go to bed hungry?" I forced a smile onto my face, waving him off.

"Beyla will lend a couple of snacks from her secret stash if need be." I glanced at my cousin, who smiled mischievously.

"Of course," She confirmed. I knew what it would take to get some of those snacks - to watch those silly romcoms I hated so much, but she'd force me to watch them with her at one point, anyway, so it was better to at least get something in return.

It wasn't even that I didn't like love, or that I hated laughing, like Ru teased, no, it was the fact that they were so sickly sweet and the love was so fake and loud. Besides, I never needed to watch love on screens when I could just turn to my family and all the mated pairs in it starting with my parents and ending with my aunts and uncles. Each of them had their own unique love language and story, and each of them was more real than those things on screen.

"Always a worrier!" Uncle Zane laughed at his Beta, making me force on another smile before I waved everyone goodnight and headed to my room.

I wasn't sleep tired, not that I'd refuse to quiet my mind a couple hours earlier than usual, but emotionally tired, really. I wanted to erase hearing my parents' argument and be the naive female I was before that. I didn't want the weight the secrets made me carry, as selfish as I was. I knew that I'd only ever think those thoughts because there was no way of turning back time, but I couldn't help but hate myself a little more every time they snuck in.

Reaching my room, I slipped straight under the covers, sitting with my knees pressed to my chest and holding the blanket tightly between my fists. My head leaned against the headboard as I stared straight ahead, thanking the Goddess that I had the luxury to do so. That I could stay relaxed and not need to look over my shoulder every minute of every day, that I had food, blankets, and a warm bed with a solid roof over my head.

I hadn't thought about it before, but I could've been in Ale and Rhea's place, I could've been left orphaned in a place with little food, for example, and although few werewolf pups ever stay in an orphanage long enough to remember it, it could've been me. It could've been my life.

That particular thought was the hardest to bear. It could've been me. Every horrible thing I knew of life from being raped to being a lonely orphan - it could've easily been me. And yet it wasn't. I was so blessed with the life I led, but many weren't. Many wondered why it had been them, and my heart clenched at the thought.

"Hope?" Beyla poked her head inside, closing the door behind her as she saw I hadn't gone to sleep. "What's going on? You've been acting so strange since yesterday. And don't even think of giving me the excuse that you're tired!" I sighed, then opened the blanket and tucked her under it, her body leaning against mine.

And then I told her everything.

"So when you were crying in the hallway?" She didn't have to finish her sentence, I simply nodded, and that was that. She ran a hand over my blanket-covered knee, comforting me, telling me without words that she understood, that it would be alright. "I'm sorry," she murmured, "for all of it." I dipped my chin as I grabbed her hand and held it with my own.

"Me too, Bee."

"And you're sure that you'll find something here? In Dad's pack?" I shrugged.

"Not really. I mean, I don't know who and what to believe anymore, but my dad said that he'd searched and the information I had was the only one he did, too."

"So why are you here?" She questioned. "To ease your conscience?"

"No," I shook my head, "I want to help. I want to know that even if I find nothing, if I find no one, that I've done my best. And once I'm done with that, I don't know, I want to keep helping so no one else has to feel what my birth mother did."

"I'll help!" My cousin declared, making me spin around to face her.

"No, Beyla!" I dismissed, "No, you won't. Your father and mother wouldn't forgive me if I dragged you into this mess. The world we live in is dangerous, but it doesn't have to be dangerous to both of us."

"It's a cause I wouldn't mind endangering myself for," she murmured, "I want to help you, but I also love the idea of helping others. You were right, Hope, we've led beautiful lives, and others deserve to do the same!" I went to shake my head again when she stopped me. "Let me talk to my dad and get access to the files. He won't find out what we're doing, just that you wanted to know more about your birth mother."

"Beyla," I sighed.

"The chances of me getting access is bigger than it is for you! I was going to be Alpha had I not let Noah have the position, I know my dad would trust me with them!"

"Fine," I agreed begrudgingly, "but the danger I face on my own."

A/N

Hi, Treasures! Make sure you join my F-a-c-e-b-o-o-k group Teddy's Treasures for extra content and discussions! Will Beyla be able to get access to the files Zane has on pack members? And more importantly, is there anything on them?