Episode 3
1056 Words
"Dude, it's ok. You don't need to feel insecure just because you're not as alpha as me."
And what did Dead Fish call him in response?
..."Kitty"???
The comment section exploded with laughter.
[WHAT IS THIS KITTY NONSENSE LMAO]
[You're calling a Tiger "Kitty"? Absolutely amazing]
[Director Johnson, where did you find this goddess?]
[Dead Fish doesn't need to feel insecure because she's absolutely CRUSHING IT]
Tiger Man completely lost it, striking a mock martial arts pose as he lunged toward Megan. "You've got some nerve!"
The bad news: this Jason had some moves.
Megan dodged smoothly, planting her foot squarely on Jason's backside with a swift kick.
Jason face-planted into the sand.
The good news: he only had *some* moves.
The director and crew watched in stunned silence.
They'd designed this segment to create chemistry between contestants—but certainly not THIS kind of chemistry!
As Dead Fish looked ready to pin Tiger Man to the ground for a proper pummeling, crew members rushed in to intervene.
"Fixed it! Fixed it! The camera's fixed!" one shouted desperately.
The hidden cameras couldn't stop rolling fast enough!
[Alright, I admit it—this is a gladiator arena, not a dating show]
[Male and female contestants literally fighting? You can't make this up!]
[That Tiger was a total jerk from the start with his sexist comments, and now he's trying to get physical?]
[And that's why he got taken DOWN]
[Who IS Dead Fish Lady? I'm dying to know!!]
Dead Fish Lady predictably shot to the top of trending topics, with curious viewers flocking to speculate about her identity.
#WhoIsDeadFish became the internet's most burning question.
[I don't recall anyone this extraordinary in the entertainment industry. Must be an outsider. Given those moves, maybe she's from a martial arts family?]
[My guess? She's some billionaire heiress. That carefree attitude screams "backed by serious money"]
[Stop guessing, she's my wife who ran off to join this show after our argument. Come home, honey, the baby needs feeding!]
[Someone please wake up the guy above with a cold shower]
Finally, the moment arrived for the highly anticipated identity reveal segment.
But first, there was one more procedure to complete.
Each contestant had to be interviewed separately and make a choice: Do you want to continue dating your current partner?
If yes, you would share a car with your current partner to the villa.
If no, your travel companion would be changed.
"NO! NO!! NO!!!"
Tiger Man's anguished screams from the interview booth were so loud they nearly caused permanent hearing damage to everyone within a half-mile radius.
[Kitty's been traumatized into madness]
[Don't be scared, Kitty, the ship has already capsized]
[I'm laughing so hard I'm slapping my own bed]
The other two pairs also made their choices.
All four chose [NO], resulting in a clean sweep of rejections.
Three potential couples, all ending in disaster. What a spectacularly failed set of dates.
[The psychologist responsible for matching these pairs must be sweating bullets]
[What is Panda doing? Anyone with eyes can see he likes Bailey. Playing hard-to-get is one thing, but choosing NO? That's too much]
[Hilarious—six people and not a single connection]
[I don't understand. Peacock and Fox seemed to get along so well. Why?]
To this, Peacock Lady responded:
"Fox Gentleman was perfectly polite. Our conversation was pleasant, but that's all it was—a friendly chat with no chemistry."
Fox Gentleman agreed: "Peacock Lady is lovely, but I came to this show hoping to connect with someone specific."
This statement sent the comment section into detective mode.
[Fox is DEFINITELY superstar Mike! Confirmed!]
[The person he wants to connect with is obviously Bailey! These lovebirds are using us as part of their game]
[So sweet! I hope Sarah is watching the livestream right now. Her face must be green with envy~]
The identity reveal officially began.
Fox Gentleman removed his mask, revealing a stunningly handsome face.
His dark eyes crinkled at the corners as his lips curved into a captivating smile.
"Hello everyone, I'm Mike Thompson."
[AAAAAAHHHHH]
[I knew it! Fox is definitely Mike the Superstar!]
[Mike NEVER does reality shows, and his first is a dating show? We all know who he's here for]
[The Mike-Bailey ship sets sail! I'm on board!]
Meanwhile, Bunny Lady also removed her mask.
As viewers had suspected, Bunny Lady was indeed Bailey Williams.
Her makeup was characteristically fresh and understated, her large contact-enhanced eyes bright and sparkling.
She offered the camera a gentle smile. "Good afternoon, I'm Bailey."
[She's so beautiful!!]
[Who could possibly resist Bailey's charm?]
[I bet Bailey's going to break hearts left and right, and Mike will be insanely jealous]
The other contestants' identities were revealed in turn.
Peacock Lady was Emily Collins, heiress to StarLight Media—the entertainment industry's largest gossip news company.
Eighty percent of celebrity scandals came from StarLight, affectionately nicknamed "The Rumor Mill" by netizens.
Tiger Man was Jason Parker. Though technically not a celebrity, he was well-known to viewers.
His claim to fame? Extravagant displays of wealth on social media and frequent rumored relationships with female celebrities.
[The StarLight heiress, AND Jason Parker the playboy? Director Johnson, you absolute madman, how did you get these people?]
[Kitty is Jason Parker? KITTY is JASON PARKER?? Oh no, Dead Fish is in trouble]
After learning Tiger was Jason Parker, many viewers began worrying about Dead Fish Lady.
By now, Dead Fish's livestream viewership had reached eight digits.
[Jason Parker has dumped so many female celebrities, and they all quietly took their payoff and disappeared. The one who made a fuss was blacklisted the very next day. Dead Fish has picked a fight with the wrong person]
[No! Dead Fish Lady is the only person I've ever followed purely for personality without seeing her face. Don't blacklist her!!]
[PROTECT DEAD FISH LADY AT ALL COSTS!!]
Meanwhile, in the livestream, Dead Fish Lady finally removed her mask.
A stunning face appeared on camera, delivering an unexpected beauty attack.
But viewers couldn't even laugh anymore.
Because that beautiful person spread their arms wide, swaying toward the camera with exaggerated movements.
"Surprise!"
"Dude, it's ok. You don't need to feel insecure just because you're not as alpha as me."
[...]
The comment section fell into unprecedented silence.
Then exploded with a massive:
[HOLY s**t!!!!]
- Writer
