Chapter 5
1829 Words
sorry I have not been posting that often I have been really busy with school and other stuff I will try my best to get on a schedule so it is not uploaded all crazy - sincerely me
pov- Alex
October 8th
I have been thinking and I miss you so much Liv it kind of hurts you know. its like half of my heart was broken when we stopped talking and that is hard for us we went from talking everyday to nothing it absolutely hurt let me tell you. you probable don't feel it you kind of think that we are still best friends and at the time I did to it took a lot for me to let you go. how can you just forget 7 almost 8 years of friendship, of memories, of us being us, now because of you I kind of have to fake being happy and it is really hard. when I first notice that you changed I started to not be my usual self and you really did not notice I mean I wanted you to know that I was not ok I wanted everyone to know but no one asked me and if they did I just shout them down with I am fine, I am okay, why wouldn't I be okay etc. I know what you would say if you actually read this but you are not "if you want people to know then why say you are fine when you are not" well it is because I want people to think that I am this strong independent person I used to be but you would never know.
October 9th I really miss you can you just come back and be my friend I can't do this with out you I need you in my life you were the one thing good in my life then you just up and left and that shattered my already shattered heart. please Liv come back I an putting up an act I really needed you you're the only thing I need right now my mind makes me think of the good times of when I was happy and that was because of you and our friendship. at first when we stopped talking the memories were the thing that made me happy now they are the vary thing that makes me sad they used to put a smile on my face now they make me want to forget all that has happened .
October 10th I went to school to day and I saw you and your group of friends it is so weird when we used to see each other in school we used to say something to each other but now we say nothing we walk by each other like we never new one another I got to my locker and of course Xavier's locker is right between mine and Tony's what ever Tony and Xavier and were talking I opened my locker someone came up to me and said boo I turned around and it was Tony and I figured as much he said "sup" I was confused he never just said sup he always said something else unless he knows that I am not feeling well I don't know why "sup, Tony" I said he pulled out his phone and texted me 'what's wrong' I got pretty good at pretending that I am fine that some times I trick myself also Tony is so considerate that he knows that I don't like that people know that I am not fine so he wrights me notes or texts me 'nothing' I said he put his phone away so did I "are you sure" he asked me again I smiled the best I could and the most believable one and said "yeah I am positive" he looked like he was debating if I was actually okay I was just hope that he thought I was okay. I turned around and got what I needed from my locker and we went to home room turns out that Xavier was in our home room also witch I do not mind. I have to go but I hope you know that I miss you bye
October 11th I need to stop bye it might be the last time I wright in here for forever I am in a really bad mind set right now
October 12th I miss you so much you are missing so much in my life and I need to tell you all that you have missed so far it is a lot trust me and I just remembered that we are no longer friends
October 13th remember all the good memories because I do and that is what I am thinking about right now and crying today is the last day I am wright in to you I hope.
October 14th
so recently I have not been in the best mind set I don't know why it is like I don't even know anymore I some how manage to keep my grades up some how I don't know no one has asked If I was okay the only time was with Tony but I got him to not worry Tony has been hanging out with my brother Xavier Jake and Charlie a lot I don't mind. I am laying on my bed when I hear some one turn the handle to my door and open it all of the boys come into my room before they came in I closed my eyes and right know I am acting like I am a sleep "Alex get up" someone said I think it is Tony and he shakes me he then screamed "Hanna banana gat a cabana" Tony said it didn't work it was only a one day thing or it is that I am too far from happy to laugh it could be both you never will know I think it is the second one because I would have laughed after I thought that. "Get up you lazy butt" Tony says and shakes me
"move out of my way let me try I have a sister at home and she always pretends to fake sleep so let me try something" Xavier says am kind of actual scared for what he is about to do so before he can do anything I scream boo and mostly everyone jumps and yells a little.
"well then I didn't know I was that scary" I said and they all say nothing I get up but get pushed back down by Xavier, Tony, Zack, Charlie, and Jake
"how about a hug Alex" Zack says and I just realized that they came from training this is so not fair not at all I was one person and they are five and I only hugged Zack
"this is not fair I only hugged Zack and I is only one person not five get off me now" I said they all laughed and got off of me and I got up went to my closet got my training close see you might be thinking that I missed my training but no I didn't I have private training well Zack and the rest of them have it with the rest of the pack well most some have it at other times of the day that is how big are pack is we cant have all of them train at the same time. when I picked out what I was going to wear I went to the bath room and took a shower I know that I should not shower before the training but I don't care I always shower before and after and I never eat before it ether I know that I should but I don't I feel like I am going to just throw it back up when I got done with the shower I grabbed a towel it is green fluffy towel and dry off when I am all dry I put on my cream and get dressed in a sports bra but I but a work out tank top on and shorts I put the tank top on just so my brother does not freak out about it I brushed out my hair and put it in a ponytail left the bath room and went back in to my closet but my necklace on the rack were all of the necklaces go and but the rig were the rigs go left the closet closed the door "why did you get dressed like you are going to training" Xavier asked me and I looked him died in the eyes and said "because I can" and I laughed "but in all seriousness I have training I don't have it with everyone else" he made an oh face and I left the room and was almost to the stairs when Xavier asked me "you don't seem like you mind that much that Tony is hanging with us and not you he is your best friend" I get where he is coming from I would ask the same question if I was him "I don't control who his friends are and aren't" and I really mean it I have been told by someone not to talk to someone just because they were not talking to them and when I was not talking to them I didn't go and say not to talk to them. that was the last we talked for most of the day it was now 6 we just finished diner I didn't really talk, my mom and dad are back they came back right before we had diner they already ate of course it is what ever I got out the homework that I need to finish still and when I was just about done someone walks in my room and I look up and it is Xavier and says "hey" and looks at me and I say "hey" back and look back down at my home work and I finished the last problem and looked back up at him and asked "is there something you came here to do or to say" and looked up to him
"no" he said I closed the home work got up and put it away and went back to my bed and sat down
"do you want to sit down" I asked him
"sure" he said and came to the bed and sat down next to me "I came in here to see what you were doing" he finished and looked at me and I looked at him we were in the moment we started to move closer to each other and before you know it we are kissing each other are lips moved in sync with each other. are lips fit perfectly with on another I loved it but we broke it off before we got too carried away.
- Writer
