The Kings Mate

chapter 7

I am f*****g pissed my brother and practically the whole football team thought it would be a good idea to wake me to play some video game when right now I could be asleep. Why they are awake at 12 in the f*****g morning is something I am still questioning right now the thing is I think they are staying the whole week because we have off that is also another thing I don't have a answer for. We split off into groups after we got into a grove almost everyone was having a good time i mean everyone but me everyone thought that i was happy or having a good time but if you look past the smile you can see how dull my eyes you can tell that the smile i had on was not real or could you i might have gotten too good for people to notice. 

the group I was in won the game if you asked me what game it was i will have no clue and i was no help to my teams victory i was dead most of the time but who cares we played more games the only one I remember was the zombie game but i don't know what game it was on i am horrible with this kinds of stuff but when we played zombies i was actually good the only reason was because when i was younger i would play this game all the time i played with someone but i don't remember who. 

when i looked at the time i was coming around to 3 in the morning so after the game i was playing i went back to my room i put in my head phones and listened to my music and put my phone on the charger and put on my night stand the first song that came on was  

dear ex best friend by Tate Mcrae 

~yea i wonder if 

my name has every crossed you mind 

even for a second 

know its been a second 

since we last talked 

or faced each other eye to eye 

know its been hectic 

yea i should have said this 

it kind of hurts cuz its insane

yea we walk by and its like 

i don't even know you 

like i never met you 

saw our pictures on my phone 

and questioned why we didn't try 

but we just habits 

thought we'd always have it 

so to my ex best friend 

i thought i'd know til the end 

sorry i know things aren't going 

as we planed 

to my once ride or die 

the one that always knew me right 

we'd swear it always end up 

you and I 

we really messed up this time 

we really messed up this time 

what about all the nights 

we'd talk about are lives 

we were just wishing i 

wish i would of listened 

since we last talked 

or faced each other eye to eye 

know its been hectic 

yea i should have said this 

it kind of hurts cuz its insane

yea we walk by and its like 

i don't even know you 

like i never met you 

saw our pictures on my phone 

and questioned why we didn't try 

but we just habits 

thought we'd always have it 

so to my ex best friend 

i thought i'd know til the end 

sorry i know things aren't going 

as we planed 

to my once rid or die the one who always new me right 

we would swear it always end up

 you and i 

we really messed up this time~ 

the next song that came on was 

another ex best friend by Greta Drew 

i see you different 

then before 

you used to be someone 

someone i could count on for anything 

i see you again 

its like we've never met 

its not the same 

no its not the same 

we walk past each other 

and it crosses my mind 

you used to be someone 

that was there for me 

we used to laugh 

everyday 

and talk all the time 

i never missed your call 

and you never missed mine 

oh oh oh oh 

i hope your good 

and happy 

cuz i'm not doing so good 

since we've split 

going trough are old pictures 

wondering what i did 

to make you go 

looking thew are old texts 

that made me smile 

now i know 

those were all 

superficial

so if your listening 

to this vary song 

i miss you 

i hope it was worth it 

to do what you did 

to kick me to the curb 

like you always did 

i hope it was worth it 

to do what you did 

kick me to the curb 

lie you always did 

we used to laugh 

everyday 

and talk all the time 

i never missed your call 

and you never missed mine 

oh oh oh oh 

i miss you ~

another song came on but i didn't really hear it i was zoning in and out and then finally i let it take over 

i was out side in are back yard sitting under a tree on the grass watching my older brother and his friends they were playing ketch and said i could not play with them then other people came into the back yard that i didn't know there was one child with them then i seen my mom she was talking to them my mom brought the kid over in are direction i was hoping that it would be a girl but all hope was soon gone another boy just great, another boy i have to deal with so i got up and made my way to my mother but didn't go on the same side as the boy he looked around my age he is no older than 6 but still i am a shy person i don't know him yet so i am kind of scared so when i got to my mom i hid behind her legs and holding them the boy said "you know i can still see you right" i just grabbed my mothers legs harder my mom picked me up "so what were you doing back here Alex" mom said to my trying to get my to come out of my shell i looked my mother in the eyes "i was sitting under the tree" i said not acting sad about it at all but i think my mom sensed that i sad about being by myself and not with my brother and his friends "well whys that babe" mom asked me and i didn't want to say not to anyone but my mom just gave me the stare that meant to tell her "well Zack said that i could not play with them" so i told her she didn't look at my brother yet "well why don't you just practice your dribbling" my mom told me "well i would but Zack has my soccer ball and throwing it around" i said and she looked at them and  the boy was already playing with them my mom put my down "Zack give your sister the soccer ball back" so Zack got the ball and instead of giving me the ball nicely he threw the ball i was about to ketch it but my mom got it with her magic "Zachary Mike Miller do not throw a ball at your sister" my mother scolded him she gave me the ball and told me to go practice so i ran off with the ball i love playing soccer it is soooo fun. Later that day we were all playing together and were all friends i found out who the new boy is his name is Xavier he is the kings son this is the first time we are meting the kings son we are really close with the king he is like are uncle. we were sitting at the dinning room table eating the food when dad and uncle came in my brother Xavier all yelled dad and me and Zack both said uncle he opened his arms for a hug and we both ran up to him "look how big both of you have gotten, Alex you are taller then Zack you look like the older one now" Uncle said and i gave him a big smile that show all my white teeth. today was the best day ever.

all of that faded away i thought all of that was real it felt so real like it happened before everything went black and the next thing i know i am waking up. 

I heard my alarm clock i got went to my closet got a pair of black leggings and a over sized sweatshirt and my ring Liv got me and went to the bath room turned on the shower and stripped my cloths when i got in the shower i washed my hair, face, body and got out  i dried off and got dressed went down stairs and i got a pop-tart i eat half of it and then put the rest in a bag i looked at the time it was 6:30 i have an hour until the bus comes so i go to the living room and go on my phone i go on snap and look at peoples stories then i went to take a picture but slid up and went in to my memories and i scrolled threw them and i saw the times when i was still close with Liv when we were happy, and still talked everyday when i would go to her house or she would come to mine everyday i started to remember the memories of us and started to smile but then i realized that we will never be like that again we are barely friends we don't talk if we do its for a second but i stared the conversation what did i ever do to ruin are friendship i ran up stairs after i cheeked the time witch is 6:40 when i got to my room i went into my walk in closet and looked at myself in the mirror "what is wrong with me" i looked into the moire i took out my hair straightener and straightened my hair it went a little past my shoulders I looked into the mirror and wondered why she did what she did but  I know I am not the skinniest in are friend group I have the biggest legs and upper body but I know how that can change I will just eat less I will cut out breakfast I am not hungry an ways so it doesn't matter then in lunch I will just eat less and that's how it will be for dinner. After that I will just work out that's how I will get skinner. I ran down the stairs and back to wear I was before it was 6:55 when I looked at my phone and that means my brother will be getting up soon I put my head phones in and played my music it was soon the time we had to leave for the bus when we got to the bus-stop I sent my streaks at 7:40 the bus came we got on and went to the open seats my brother went to the back and I stayed in the front. soon it was lunch and I did what I said I would so I eat less and gave more away it was normal for me to gave away food but I gave away more than normal. when I got home I didn't eat a snack like I normal do but I went straight to my room and stated my homework I had at least one thing for all the subjects so I did math first math has always been easy for me its like I am the really smart person in normal math like adding and subtracting large numbers are no probable in my head and multiplication is no probable my friend called me ben franklin I don't know why but she did. in math my teacher has to challenge me she gives me pemdas and fractions and I have to do this without a calculator I got all the questions done in like 7 minutes it was easy next was science got that done in like 4 I only had one question, next is social I had to finish a study guide that took about 20 then I had English and I just had to right one word an it was done. when everything was I on my bed and everything came back 

what did I do 

why aren't we best friends anymore 

no one wants me here why am I here 

no one notices that I am not happy they just believe the smile I put on because of you 

I guess I know who the fake friend is 

why can't you see that the smile is fake you once saw through the smile so did the group 

I guess you don't need me anymore 

I hope you are happy with what you did 

maybe you would want to be my friend if I was skinner. 

the room was starting to change again and when it came back I was back in my room. I was laying on my bed  got up and went to my closet and looked into the mirror and saw how ugly I am I lift up my shirt up and looked at myself I pulled my shirt off and changed into a sports bar and shorts I pulled out my yoga mat and put it on the ground and started to stretch then I started sit-ups I do 100, 100 reverse crunches, 60 crunches, 4 two minute butterfly, 100 sit-ups where you bring you leg to your arm, then leg circles 50 on each leg, 100 squats, and 50 jump-squats then I went to the mirror and looked at my stomach and legs there is a difference but not a huge difference I have been getting out eating with my family by saying I got a lot of home work to work on and I will just eat in my room I get a little food and head to my room. No one has really noticed that I got skinner just a few people I was right liv would want to be y friend if I got skinner but we aren't like we used to be and I new that from the begging but I don't really think that me losing weight made her want to talk to me again I think it is because she saw that I moved on after awhile but I did I made a great friend but still even though I consider her my best friend I still don't tell her everything because of are friendship it ruined me and know I have to hide it from everyone because I don't think they would want to hear about how you ruined me who know best friends could do that to each other you know now I can't even cry because of what happened like after awhile I just turned of every thing but somehow one thing didn't turn off  and it is the one thing I wish just turned off but know I have to fake happiness. the last few years have been the worst I lost you in 6th then I became depressed then you were somewhat back in 7th but then I already started to eat less and was still depressed even though I had great friends then and now I am in 8th and I want to die you know I can't even remember the last time I was actual happy and not faking it and now no one really can see I am faking. 

and my room started to fade out again and then I was just in black and I woke up.