You, Me, We, Us

Chapter 40

Zoe

It's a week before Thanksgiving and we've been doing 2 sessions a week this is my last session before we can do them together. It's helping me heal and Hudson is too. We told his parents that something happened to me and we are going to therapy. They are so supportive and said they were glad I was getting help and if I needed anything to let them know. The first week out of the hospital it was hard for me to drink anything and I ended up back in the hospital because of dehydration. I had an emergency session with Harmony she said eventually it would fade but for now carry a sealed water bottle with me. I did and this week I was able to drink tea Hudson's mom made I had to keep reminding myself she made it and no one in their house wanted to harm me. The self defense classes have also helped me feel safe. I was excited about Thanksgiving but Hudson is leaving to North Carolina and it's got me all moody it never bothered me before but Harmony thinks it's a good thing so we can both see I'll be ok without him. She said what we had before the trama was healthy but what we have started to have recently is verging on codependency and we don't want that. My last session a lone went well . Now it's our first session together.

Harmony

Welcome Hudson and Zoe is there anything you want to share with eachother. Hudson say well I'm glad you convinced me to come Zoe I was effected by the incident. I stop him Hudson you have to call it by it's name. Hudson says by your s****l assault more than I thought I was. Zoe says it's ok I'm getting better. I ask ok so how are you with people touching you they both look at eachother and then me. Ok guys what am I missing? Hudson says Zoe has never liked anyone touching her except she tolerates some and excepts few and initiates with even fewer. I look at Zoe puzzled and ask why is that? She starts to cry silently then says maybe a session together was a bad idea. Hudson pulls her on his lap and snuggles her he says blue eyes I know something happened to you before I don't know the detail but I know it in your touch I know it in the way you freeze sometimes when others touch you. I stare at him gently pulling her open so she can fully heal. She says when I was little my dad never would let me hug him or anything because he always said he was too busy I guess I just got use to not being touch and soon enough started to believe I wasn't worthy of love. If someone decides your worthy of love they want to hug you kiss you express in physical ways they love you. It's hard for me I didn't have a lot of positive touch growing up and then as I got older besides you and my family which I still don't touch that much. I've a lot of negative touch. I feel as if guys think because I'm fat that I'm lucky for them to touch me and I'm not I don't like it. It's happened at my last job that's why I quit. Hudson says is that everything you want to say because I feel like there's something else. She looks at him and cries well I forgot until I was doing therapy. Hudson looks at her confused then angry then softens and says whatever it was it wasn't your fault Angel. That guy from that night he um took my hand and rubbed it against his man parts naked and he took it and slapped my face with it and rubbed it against my lips. I-I think I'm gonna be sick. I hand her the trash can she throws up. That's why if you don't want to abide by our deal I understand. I'm dirty now and used. Hudson hugs her and say blue eyes nothing has changed at least not for me. He says you are not dirty and you are not used it wasn't your fault and I know now it wasn't my fault it was his fault. He chose to do bad things and that has no fault in us ok. Zoe says ok. She say I need to brush my teeth she leaves and comes back She kisses Hudson as he hugs her again and says if there is anyone in the entire universe worthy of love is most definitely you. Hey Zoe I know Hudson isn't your boyfriend but if you are willing he said he was and he told me that you both agreed that you wouldn't do anything except with eachother so I want you to get a little more intimate with him and see if you get scard when you take it a step further. I'm not asking you to have s*x infact I don't think your quiet ready for that. She says ok. I will see you Tuesday. They both say ok and leave.