You, Me, We, Us

Chapter 39

Hudson

After we talked I kissed her again. Then there was a knock at the door. Come in. In walks Brock and his sister Harmony she beautiful she's older than us and she has a small scar on her jaw line. I can see that Zoe is feeling down on herself I was looking at Harmony's face for too long so I look at her and bring her chin up and say hey beautiful are you ready to talk to her. She says yes and I lean over and whisper in her ear. I wasn't looking at her like you think she has a scar on her jaw line. She says I wasn't I interrupt her yes you were sweetcheeks, she blushes hard, and it's ok I get it. You had something taken away and now you feel vulnerable and if something else is taken away you might break. So, yeah I understand it's ok I'm not going anywhere. She say thank you Hudson for everything. At this point Harmony says do you prefer to talk alone or without Brock in the room?

Zoe

No eveyone that is here can stay. I feel safe with them I know it might sound weird because I just met your brother tonight but I already know he won't let anything bad happen to me. Harmony says no sweetheart he wouldn't. So how are you feeling she asks. I um feel like a frightened rabbit and I hate it.

Harmony

I ask how she feels and she didn't respond how most do. She says like a frightened rabbit. I hold on to those words for a moment. I say so you feel small and helpless and kinda caged in? Yes, she exclaims exactly and I am not usually like this I'm kinda bossy, in charge and a fixer oldest child syndrome you could say. I'm impressed she has a very good idea of who she is. Well the first thing is to help you feel in control in healthy ways. What do you mean she says? Well healthy ways are you making decisions for yourself and maybe getting some self defense classes and talking a lot of expressing how you're feeling because if you bottle it up or try to forget it, it can cause and unhealthy reaction to help yourself feel in control. Zoe says like what? I say like steeling, an eating disorder, cutting or acting out like s*x with strangers are just some of them. I see Hudson's expression change from soft to stern. He says well the last one she definitely won't be doing. Then he say she won't do any of them. I say as her boyfriend you can definitely help but remember she needs to feel in control right now to prevent expressing herself in unhealthy ways. Zoe says he's my bestfriend not my boyfriend and he shouldn't have to take care of me all the time. I look at Hudson and say I just saw how close you were and thought he was your boyfriend. Hudson says it doesn't matter what you call me right now I want her healthy. He looks at Zoe and says I can't lose you to this. Zoe looks at him he has tears in his eyes she says I will do everything she says so I can be healthy I just don't want to be a burden. Watching the two of them is very interesting they are bestfriends but their love is so much deeper then I think they even can understand. Truly fascinating. Hudson says you are never a burden don't say that. You help ground me I would be a mess without you so your not a burden. She looks at him and says and you are the sun in my darkest days. I feel almost like I'm listening to weddings vows. These two will always be a part of eachother of that I am sure. Zoe looks at me and says lets make a plan to get me mentally healthy. I smile ok. We come up with a schedule for therapy and self defense. She's very open to it which is going to be key to her recovery. I know some people would say she wasn't raped so she should just get over it. But what they fail to understand is her body the one thing you should always be in control of was violated. She was touched without consent. She was drugged without her knowledge. She was rendered completely helpless she couldn't call out for help she couldn't fight she was at the mercy of a monster. Therefore we have to work through the trauma that remains. I look at Zoe and say how bout we can do the first session today (it's Sunday) and the second on Tuesday this week? Zoe says ok can we also do one on Friday, Sure I say. She says can Hudson come? Does he make you comfortable? Yes, she says and safe. Ok, but I want our first five sessions not counting today with him in a different room then we can bring him in if you want or if you start to have a panic attack we can bring him in ok? She agrees. I look at Hudson and say what about you? Hudson looks me in the eyes and with all the sincerity in the world says I will do whatever Zoe needs to be healthy. I look at him in wonder how can neither of them see what's so obvious to everyone around them the love they have is so deeply profound it's palpable. Zoe then asks is this the only kind of counseling you do with rape victims or almost rape I don't know what to call it. I say no I specialize in trauma, female trauma and PTSD. Hudson asks you don't work with men. I say well I do PTSD covers a lot some times soldiers, but can be traumatic loss like an unexpected death of a child, wife or life partner. Female trama includes s****l assault which is what happened to you Zoe. Rape and other things like child and fetal loss for both women and couples. Like miscarriages or when the baby can't survive outside the womb. Now Hudson I know that you might not think so but because of how close you are to Zoe I think a few sessions would be good for you too. Hudson says I'm ok but she's not I look at Zoe she has tears in her eyes she starts to sob. I don't intervene because this will be good for Hudson to see how saying something so simple can trigger her. Zoe looks at him and says leave if that's how you feel. Hudson's in full on panic mode. Zoe please listen I didn't mean it that way. Please don't make me leave I can't, I can't be away from you right now Zoe please he's now crying. I just wait to see how she handles him. Their still on the hospital bed together Zoe moves and she puts a hand on both sides of his face and says babe I know this is hard on you they way you found me the fact that douchebags touched me, he flinches at that, the way you wanted to kill him. I need you just like you need me and if we both can't be healthy it won't matter because eventually it will destroy us. You promised me you would never let anything or anyone tear us apart. Please go to counseling. Then Zoe leans over and kisses his tears sending him a silent message. He hugs her so tight like he's afraid she'll slip away. Then when he's composed himself he says ok I agree I will do my sessions after her untill we have sessions together. I agree. Hudason and my brother Brock head out. We have our first session. The way she handled him was truly amazing there was no manipulation just truth. I can't wait till I see them healthy together.