Chapter 3: Cold Walls and Warm Hearts
1378 Words
(Matthew’s Point of View)
The sound of the office door closing behind me echoed in the silence, but the weight of what had just transpired with Esther stayed with me. There was something about her that I couldn’t quite shake. Her presence, her vulnerability—it gnawed at me, something deep inside that I didn’t want to feel. I had spent so many years building walls so high that no one could climb them, but Esther, with all her softness and uncertainty, made me want to let them crumble.
I shouldn’t want to feel this way. I shouldn’t want to open up to her. She was just part of the deal, a business arrangement. That’s all it was. It wasn’t supposed to be complicated. Yet here I was, obsessing over the way she looked at me, the way her words were always measured, like she was afraid to push too hard. She didn’t know what I had built. The fortress I’d created around myself wasn’t for no reason. It was to keep people like her out—people who might get too close and shatter everything I’d worked so hard to protect.
I leaned against the elevator wall as it descended to the ground floor, feeling the familiar rush of tension flood my chest. I could still see the look in her eyes when I left her office, hesitant, conflicted. She didn’t want this arrangement, but the offer was too tempting. I knew it was. The money, the security, the life she could never dream of. How could she say no? And yet, there was something more beneath her hesitation. Something I couldn’t quite place.
I ran my hand through my hair as I stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby.
I had promised myself I wouldn’t care about her. This wasn’t about her. It was about getting what I needed, about protecting my company, my reputation. But she was starting to worm her way in, making it harder to keep the distance I’d always maintained. I could feel the tug every time I thought about her, and it pissed me off. I wasn’t supposed to feel like this. Not for her.
I arrived back at my penthouse later that evening, the city lights casting long shadows across the living room. The apartment felt colder than usual, despite the warmth of the heat running through the floors. I couldn’t stop thinking about Esther. Her face, her hesitation, her eyes—why did it feel like she was slipping under my skin when I was trying so hard to keep everything at arm's length?
I sat down on the couch, rubbing my temple, the weight of the day pressing on me. I reached for the glass of whiskey on the table, the amber liquid burning my throat as it slid down. I closed my eyes, trying to push the thoughts of Esther away. But they lingered, like an echo.
You’re here because of the contract. That’s what I had to remind myself. Nothing more.
But then why did I care that she was conflicted? Why did it matter so much that she wasn’t just going along with it? I should have been happy that she was cautious. That she was taking her time.
But as the minutes passed, and the darkness of the room deepened, I couldn’t shake the sense of something else growing in me. A need. A need for something I hadn’t allowed myself to feel in years. Something I hadn’t even known I wanted.
There was a knock at my door.
I stood up, brushing off the feeling that had begun to consume me, and walked to the door. When I opened it, there she was—Esther.
I didn’t even need to ask why she was here. I knew.
“Can we talk?” she asked quietly, her eyes avoiding mine for a split second before meeting them again. Her voice trembled just enough for me to notice, a vulnerability that I couldn’t ignore.
I stepped aside, silently inviting her in. She entered, her presence filling the space between us. Her shoulders were tense, her hands fidgeting with the strap of her purse. I could feel the weight of the unspoken words hanging in the air.
I waited, but she didn’t say anything immediately. Instead, she just looked at me, the uncertainty in her eyes apparent. I could tell she was fighting with something inside herself.
“Esther,” I said, my voice lower than I intended. “What’s going on? You know what this is, don’t you?”
Her lips parted, but she didn’t speak right away. I could see her struggling to find the right words, the hesitation thick in the air. “I—I don’t know if I can do this,” she finally said, her voice barely a whisper. “I don’t know if I can be a part of this... this... arrangement.”
I felt something twist in my chest at her words. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. She wasn’t supposed to question it. She was supposed to take the deal and walk away. But here she was, standing in front of me, looking more human than I ever wanted her to be.
“You signed the contract, Esther,” I said, my voice cold, pushing the words out like I was trying to convince myself more than her. “You knew what this was.”
She shook her head slowly. “I know what I signed. But that’s not what’s bothering me. It’s... you. It’s this. You’re not the person I thought you were. I can’t do this if it means pretending. I don’t want to just be... someone you use.” Her words hit me like a slap, but I wasn’t sure how to respond. I wanted to tell her to stop, that it was too late, that she had already made her choice. But there was something in the way she looked at me, the pain in her eyes, that stopped me.
I took a step forward, suddenly aware of how close we were, the tension between us thickening. “What do you expect from me, Esther?” I asked, the words slipping out before I could stop them.
“I expect you to be real with me,” she whispered, her eyes finally meeting mine. “Not this... cold person who can’t let anyone in.”
I felt a rush of something I hadn’t expected—a longing. It burned in my chest, hot and sharp, like something I wanted to reach out and grab but couldn’t. I stepped back, shaking my head. “You don’t understand,” I said. “I can’t let anyone in. You don’t know what it’s like. I’ve built these walls for a reason.”
She didn’t say anything for a long moment. Then she spoke, her voice soft but unwavering. “Maybe it’s time to let someone help tear them down.”
I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I had no idea what to say. Her words, her vulnerability, were doing something to me. Something I didn’t want to feel. But it was there, rising in me, this need to reach out, to let her in.
But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.
I turned away, trying to push the feelings down, trying to keep my distance. “You should go.”
Her eyes searched mine for a long moment, like she was trying to see if I meant it. I saw the hurt flash in her eyes, but she didn’t argue. She just nodded and walked to the door.
As she stepped into the hallway, she paused, her hand on the doorframe. She looked over her shoulder, her voice barely a whisper. “I’m not going to wait forever, Matthew.”
The door clicked shut behind her, but her words lingered in the air, hanging over me like a storm I couldn’t avoid.
And for the first time since meeting her, I realized I didn’t want to avoid it. I didn’t want to be alone in this anymore.
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This chapter shows Matthew's internal struggle and the growing connection between him and Esther, leaving the reader to wonder what will happen next.
- Writer
