The Girl I shouldn't Like

~Clara~ I froze as she stepped into the office. Every step she took made my heart pound faster,my thoughts betraying me. Her presence was impossible to ignore …the curve of her neck, the sway of her shoulder . There was something beyond her body, it was the way she moved with confidence and her being untouchable. It was clear she had no idea of the chaos she was about to unleash in me. I swallowed hard , trying to force my eyes away,but they kept drifting , betraying me. Thoughts I had never entertained ,those I never allowed flashed through my mind. My lips and hands .. “You will have a meeting in ten minutes ,”She said, her voice steady and professional. I forced out a single , shallow word. “Yes.” Her gaze lingered on me for a heartbeat longer than it should have and I knew I was already in trouble. Not just with desire ,but with everything I was supposed to be. I had a fiance , he had actually just proposed to me last night in the presence of my whole family. However, amidst all these , part of me prayed and wished for what was not meant for me. Before I could pull myself together , the office door clicked shut behind the her leaving me alone with my thoughts and guilt. .~Clara~ I stared at the door as she disappeared. In fact I looked longer than I probably should have. My thoughts lingered more than ever. Up to this moment, I wouldn't have believed I was into girls. Truly, I never expected anything like this to happen. But the moment my eyes landed on Hyacinth, my personality Assistant, a part of me shifted . Something inside me had awakened. I was so lost in thoughts, I didn't even notice my door opening. A voice pulled me back to reality. “Clara?” It was Alexei,my fiancé. His presence yanked me from my sea of thoughts, leaving me suddenly away from how distracted I had been. Of how dangerously alive those thoughts had made me feel. I tried to make myself feel comfortable as I stepped closer ,his hands sliding around me. He turned me to face him and pressed a kiss on my lips. “Good afternoon ,babe!” he whispered ,his body pressing against mine in a way that should have stirred something…..but didn't. “I missed you,”he murmured. And for the first time,I realized I didn't feel anything. I didn't move away, though every instinct in me told me to do so. His touch was familiar, expected and comfortable in the way a routine always is. But it somehow felt hollow. My mind was somewhere else, replaying Hyacinth’s every glance , every subtle smile that had unsettled me more than Alexei ever could. Alexei's lips lingered in mine and I forced myself to return a fraction of the motion. A shadow of what I should feel , nothing more. His hands traced my sides , confident and assured. I realised I wasn't thinking about him at all. I was thinking of Hyacinth. The way she carried herself. The way she had moved through my office made even the air feel different. “Clara?” Alexei's voice was softer this time, questioning and slightly hesitant. I swallowed hard , trying to focus on him . In fact, the life that I had chosen . But the truth pressed me like a weight I couldn't lift. Even my own heartbeat betrayed me. “You know we have a family dinner this evening?” He questioned me more than informed me. “I….I need a moment,” I whispered, stepping back just enough to create distance. He nodded , still smiling . Him oblivious to the storm brewing inside me. “Ofcourse,love . Take your time. ” He excused himself from my office. As he closed the door behind him, I sank into my chair and then buried my face in my hands. My chest was tight ,my thoughts racing and all I could see was Hyacinth. She had awakened something I could no longer ignore. And for the very first time, I wondered if I was going to be able to move on the pace of the world or rather on my own pace.