Scarred till you

"Jerrica" I signed deeply after hauling in the last box from the moving truck. Finally done, I thought to myself, and it only took me all day. Unfortunately, any of my friends, who would have gladly helped me, couldn’t. Not because they didn’t want to or had something else to do. Nope, they didn’t know where I was, and I wanted it to stay that way. I was starting a new life and nothing about my old life was going to work its way in. New state, new town, and a new start. The only thing not new was me, but oh well, I would take what I could get. I collapsed on my mattress that was still lying flat on the floor. I was exhausted but had to have the moving truck back today by 5pm or risk being charged for another full day. “Get your lazy butt up!” I said out loud to myself. I was hoping for some motivation but when I just continued to lay there, I thought of the extra day charge and that was the final motivating factor. This move cost me my entire savings, but I was away from him and the hell that had become my life. I rolled off the mattress and pulled myself up and walked into the bathroom, grabbing a roll of paper towels on my way. “Well girl, this was what you wanted. Now you got it, don’t waste it!” I said to the reflection staring back at me. I quickly cupped some cold water and washed my face and hands, or at least rinsed them off, since I wasn’t sure where the soap was. After drying my hands and face, I used my fingers to try to comb through my hair. After no luck and not sure of where my brush was, I swept my hair up into a ponytail on top of my head. “Oh well, that’s as good as its going to get without a shower” I said to myself, then I promptly stuck my tongue out and laughed at myself. “At least I’m not trying to impress anyone”. I grabbed the keys for the rental truck along with my purse and headed out. The weather was so different here than back home. The humidity alone was enough to make me run for the shower every 15 minutes. I swear I started sweating before I even started unloading the truck. I laughed to myself when I thought about doing an sss search for industrial strength deodorant. I hopped in and started the truck, turning the AC on full blast and fiddled with the radio trying to find something good to listen to. I scanned through the stations and found a good song on a classic rock station, turned it up, and pulled away from the curb. I had already programmed the GPS with the rental truck drop off location, so I was ready to go. I grew up in Missoula, Montana and while it was a pretty big city, it had nothing on Atlanta. The traffic and the city seemed to go on forever over the horizon. No snow-capped mountains, just high-rise buildings and a lot of trees. My thoughts drifted back home, the beauty of the bowl when you finally come through the canyon on I90 and all of Missoula is out in front of you. I loved driving in the mountains and hiking on all the different trails. My father had instilled a love of the outdoors and I tried everything once when it involved nature. My thoughts went to Dylan, and I immediately pushed them back out. I didn’t have time to waste on him. He was my past and my future did not belong with that a*****e anywhere near me. Thankfully, we didn’t have any children. Thank God for unanswered prayers. I like to think He knew exactly what was going to happen and decided to spare me that. I think if we had any kids, Dylan would find me, even if I moved to Siberia. As it was, I don’t think he would try to track me down as he always told me I was worthless and a piece of s**t excuse for a wife. I shook my head in an effort to force those thoughts from my head. My focus needs to be on my life from this point on.