Loss and Love

EMILY’s POV. “Why are you frowning? You look upset. Is everything okay?” My best friend, Anita, asks was she walked into my office. I sat at my desk, looking at a photo of my boyfriend on my computer screen. “I feel something is weird, like off.” I said. “Huh, that is weird. This is the first time I am hearing you complain about something so it must be serious.” Anita said, and sat on the chair across my desk. “It’s my boyfriend. I do not think I can take it anymore. He is not who I thought he was.” I complained. “Wanna talk about it?” Anita asked, her brows furrowed in concern. “Well...I found out he has been lying to me about everything.” I said, glaring at his photo. “That’s weird. What happened?” Anita asked. “Well, Remember the last time he took me on a date? He lied about knowing the owner of the restaurant and when we got there, he was asked to leave cause he did not make reservations. We almost got kicked out, I had to use my name to save us. The humiliation is the one thing I can not condone.” I said. “That is not done. Why did he lie ? Wait I do not understand, I thought he was a rich heir or something.” Anita said, with a thoughtful look on her face. “I do not understand. After that incident he apologized and I accepted his apology. Then that night, I heard him talking to someone over the phone. He was asking for more time to repay some debt.” I said. “What debt?” Anita asked, unable to contain her curiosity. “I do not know, I tried to ask him and he said it was something related to a friend of his or something related to that.” I twisted my face in annoyance as I remembered his words. “But I thought you did a thorough investigation of him before you accepted his proposal.” Anita said. “Yeah, I did do a thorough investigation but everything I found out about him contradicts what he is doing now. And now that you mentioned it, everything I found out about him seemed so perfect, like they were arranged by someone.” I said. “I never liked him “ Anita said and we both burst into laughter. “It’s good to see you smile, forget about that jerk. But I do not understand one thing.” Anita said, as the laughter died down. “What is that?”I asked. “Where did it all go wrong?” Anita asked. “Well, at first he was really supportive at first. He encouraged me to be the best version of myself. He always motivated me all the time, when I needed a shoulder to cry on he was there. When I needed someone to hug me and tell me it will all be fine, he was there. When I needed someone to tell me what I needed to hear, he was there.” I said. “I think I now know where it all went wrong.” Anita said. “What do you mean by that?” I asked her, my anger rising. “I mean, from what you just said, he has always been there for you when you needed him. But are you are not doing a good job as a girlfriend.” Anita said. “What do you mean by that? What do you mean by that?” I asked. “Well, look at this and what you just said. He did everything for you , it is all about you. He should be there when you need a hug or a shoulder to cry on. But have you ever been there for him? You are always busy with your work and ignore him.” Anita said, her expressions serious. “Excuse me? Are you trying to say I am only a taker and not a giver?” I asked in annoyance. “Do not get me wrong now Emily, I am not saying you are selfish or self centered” she said, a small smile on her face. “I never said you said all that! Wait is that what you think of me?” I asked , flaring up. “You are making a mountain out of a molehill. I did not say that.” Anita said in a calm tone. “Well you just said that I have never been there for him.” I snapped at her. “No, I did not say that Emily. I only asked if you have ever been there for him before. Have you ever hugged him and told him that everything would be fine? Have you ever given him a shoulder for him to cry on or lean on? Have you ever told him what he wanted to hear?” Anita asked. I was quiet for some time, lost in deep thought. “What Anita said had some truth in it, I have never really done any thing for him. Not even a gift, it’s always I love you and that’s it. Was I really a bad girlfriend?” “It sounds like you are really struggling with some negative thoughts about yourself and your relationship. I am sorry but I did not mean to make you feel like a bad person or a self person. But I just wanted to point something out for you to understand. It is important to remember that relationships are a two way street. You can not take all the blame for things not going well or as planned. And even if you feel like you are not doing a good job as a girlfriend, that does not make you are a bad person. It is okay to make mistakes and go learn from them. I am very sure there are some times that you did something for him, something he likes or appreciates. It does not have to be extravagant or too flashy, if he liked it that’s all.” Anita said. Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes and smiled a little. “Do you think your parents’ relationship is affecting yours?” Anita asked, hitting the nail on its head.