The Bone Lord.

Sometimes I want to die. To scream up to the heavens, eyes wide and my face red and puffy from all of the crying. I want to be a legend immortalized as a man and a man that others glean wisdom from in a never ending cycle of life and death. To stand guard at someone else’s dreams and nightmares and help guide them away from my path by simply doing what I did. “Hey! Hey, you’ve got to open your eyes. Can you open your eyes?” Other times I want to live. To squeeze my eyes shut and clasp my hands over my ears until the world fades away. Nothing more than days long past and nights spent huddled in a corner, rocking to and fro as rain pelted down like spears trying in vain to stab me to death. “That’s it! Can you keep your eyes open for me? Good job, just a bit more.” “Are you sure he’s in there?” “...No, but no one said he had to be for it to work. He said he didn’t have to be. That’s consent and that’s what we’re doing.” “You’re the boss.” But neither one truly gains any ground. Back and forth, good and bad, life and death. A coin, I’ve found. Two sides completely at ease with each other. I just wish it was that simply for me. Sitting on the ground, naked and alone and too scared to even check the door. The rain coming down harder, violent in its forceity. Pounding harder until I can take my hands away and turn my face, so red and puffy, towards the ceiling, towards the heavens, and open my mouth to scream. Nothing comes out but a croak and the noises fade away again, lost in the wind and too hollow, too empty, to really feel comfortable. Instead of a legend I am a man. And instead of a man I am an animal. Lost to his instincts and forever growling at those who threaten to hurt me. I huddle deeper into my corner and silently squeeze my eyes shut and clasp my hands to my ears, rocking to and fro until the next storm when I will turn my face upwards like a flower desperately seeking the sun. “Can you give me your hand? Great! Now I want you to squeeze it. Can you do that for me?” “Is he still in there?” “Maybe, but the posibility of it is low. If he is then he’s not coming back the same.” “Isn’t that what he wanted?” “...Nobody wants to come back forgotten.” Banging. Loud, obnoxious banging. It rivals the teeth clenching thunder and the desolent wind. It even overpowers the nerve wracking rain. “Open the door!” But it’s already unlocked. I didn’t check to see if I had locked it. “We know you’re in there.” Who else would it be? I’m the only one who could have even entered here and anyone else around would be long gone. Already legends looking down on me with their dark, voidless eyes and hollow, poison filled smiles. “Open the door and com out with your hands up!” But if I did that then you could get in and only I’m allowed in here. All of the others are gone. “If you don’t come out on the count of three then we’re coming in. One!” The door’s unlocked, I never locked it. “Two!” I want to die, to become a legend. “Three!” I want to live, to hide my eyes and hear no more words spoken. “Stay where you are! Stay. Where. You. Are. Do not take another step closer. We’re armed and we will shoot if you step closer!” Screaming up to the heavens, staying hidden away on the earth, Neither one can live without the other; up and down, good and bad, life and death. Man and monster. “He’s waking up! Can you tell us your name?” “Can you tell us your name?” “Tell us your name.” “Your name.” “Name!” All of that and only one question can leave my lips. “What is human?”