Their Beautiful Broken Queen

Chapter 5

Tulip

"This won't be easy to hear. Just like it's not going to be easy to talk about. I've been in therapy for three years, and it's still not easy. You're also going to be pissed because I didn't tell you or Mom about what happened to me, but I have reasons for it. Just please stay calm while I tell you," I told him.

"I'll try to stay as calm as I can, baby girl," Daddy told me. I took a deep breath in and let it out, and then I started telling him my story, basically.

"When I got stuck going to Sean's as a kid, it was horrible. At first, things were fine, but then over time, something changed in him, and he got abusive. It started with emotional and mental abuse when he had me on the weekends when he had me. But then I had to start spending school breaks and the summer with him. And the abuse turned physical. He would beat on me and starve me and lock me in closets. He always told me that if I said anything, he would make sure that you, Mom, the boys, and the club paid for it. He said that he had friends in high places who would take every member of the club out. And he would make me watch before killing me because it would be my fault. As a ten-year-old being told this, I was terrified, and I shut down. When I turned eighteen and didn't have to go to his house anymore, I was so damn happy. But I knew that he wouldn't leave me alone. So I decided to go away for college," I told him.

I could see his hands on his legs ball up into a fist. I took a breath and continued. "While at college, I was out taking pictures for one of my classes. That's when I ran into Shadow. I ended up spending the whole day with him. Because I was riding the bus to get places, he put me on the back of his bike and took me around. That was one of the best days of my life. It was also the start of our relationship. We dated for almost two years, and it was amazing. He was, is, the love of my life. He had to go on a short mission, and when he got back, he was sent on a longer one. I still had my room at the dorm, but I also stayed at his house most of the time as well. While he was gone on the short tour, I started to feel sick. I didn't go to the doctor because I thought that it was just a stomach bug that was going around school. Boy, was I wrong. Right after Shadow left for his longer tour, I was in a car accident. I was on my way to school and a drunk driver hit me head-on. Thankfully, it didn't kill me, but I did suffer losses. When I came to at the hospital, I found out that not only had I been five months pregnant. But they had to deliver him, and he was in NICU in an incubator. He was so tiny and so precious. He was only a pound, and he wasn't developed enough to make it outside of the womb. So I held my baby as he took his last breath. His name is Gabriel Waylon Gibson Sterling. I had him cremated so that I could have him with me every day," I said while I grabbed the little motorcycle necklace that I wear with his ashes in it.

I had to take a few deep breaths to calm down. And I had to wipe my face off from where I was crying. I could tell that Daddy wanted to ask me questions. But he stayed quiet while I talked and got it all out, and I was thankful for it.

"I didn't tell Shadow what happened because he was no contact. And his boss said that he had no way of getting hold of him. So I decided to wait until he got home. And I'll come back to that in a minute. When I was in the hospital, I also learned that I had lost both of my legs. The crash caused the front of the car to crush my legs, and by the time the fire department got me out, it was too late to save them. I lost them both from about halfway up between my knees and hips. So I now have to wear prosthetics. It took over a year for me to heal and relearn how to walk again. And in that time, I had to have someone with me all the time. I was admitted to the hospital after I tried to kill myself. Having lost my son and my legs was way too much. When I got out of the hospital, I was doing better. But my friend Riley has been by my side through it all to make sure that I was ok. I was so used to dealing with everything on my own, and I was so ashamed that I couldn't tell you. Today, I still have trouble sometimes, but I'm much better. Back to Shadow. When I went to his place to get my stuff, it was because I had found an apartment on the first floor of a building. And it was close to the hospital and to my school. I was still afraid of doing a lot of driving then. While we were at his house, a girl showed up. She was pregnant and claiming that the kid was his. I knew that it was a lie. Hell, he wasn't even in town when she says she got pregnant. But I realized that I couldn't be with him at that time. I needed to work on myself and get back to my right headspace. Seeing some pregnant girl show up and claim her kid was my old man's was hard as hell. And it set me back again. I knew that he'd be pissed at me and probably never forgive me. But it was a chance that I had to take. Because he was in a good place with his career and didn't need to be brought down by me. That's why I left him the note that I did. I also told that girl that if she went and made false claims against Shadow, he'd sue her and get a restraining order against her. And that he'd have a DNA test done to prove that her kids weren't his. I knew that he'd never cheat on me. So, regardless of what Stone says, that's not why I left Shadow. Please dont be mad at me," I told him when I was done.

Daddy was quiet for a long time before he said anything. When he finally did, it was to tell me to pull over at the next truck stop. By now, it was already close to noon. And I knew that I was going to have to pee soon. So at the next truck stop, I pulled in and parked close to the doors in a handicap parking spot. Then I grabbed my handicap parking tag and put it on the rearview mirror.

Daddy got out and came around to my side of the car to help me out. I took the keys out of the ignition, and after I got out, I locked my car. And Daddy grabbed me and pulled me to him and held me tightly.

"Go use the bathroom, and then we'll talk again once we're on our way again," he said.

I nodded against him, and then we pulled apart and headed into the building. I went to the women's restroom, and after I used the bathroom, I washed my hands and headed back out to the SUV. Dad was already back out there, and he held his hand out for the keys. After I gave them to him, he helped me get in on the passenger side, and then he went around to the driver's side.

I was honestly glad that he was with me because I was hurting from all of the driving. Thankfully, when I got dressed this morning, I put a pair of shorts on under my jogging pants. That way, if I needed to take my prosthetics off while I was driving, I could. And I was going to need to take them off now.

Before Daddy started the car, I said, "I'm glad that you flew out to drive down with me. I need to take my prosthetics off for a little bit. While I can drive the car with my hands if I need to, I don't like to. I have shorts on under these pants so that I can take them off."

"If you're more comfortable that way, then take them off, I don't want you to be hurting baby girl," Daddy told me.

So I wiggled around until I got my pants pulled down and then took the prosthetics off. Once they were off, I laid them behind us on the floorboard and then grabbed my throw blanket.

When I turned around, I looked at Daddy, and I could see the pain in his eyes.

"I understand why you didn't tell us about what happened. But I really wish you had. It hurts me to see you like this. And I wish we could have been there to help you through all of it. You shouldn't have had to go through what you did alone. When we get back home, we'll talk to Doc and get him to do the DNA test for us. I trust him, and I know that he'll make sure that it's done and done right. And when it comes back that you're mine, I'm going to make f*****g Sean disappear for good. I now know that he's the reason you didn't come to us. And that he's the reason that you pulled away from us. We'll talk more about all of this on the way home. But just so that you know, I think that you need to talk to Shadow about what happened and why. He needs to know all of it. And he deserves to know that he lost a son as well. You guys will work through your problems and come out on top again. I know you will. It'll just take time. Now, for the rest of the drive, I want you to fill me in on all of your health problems since this happened. And what triggers I need to watch for," he told me.

So for the next little while, we talked about what happened to me and what he needed to watch for. During the drive, we snacked on the food that I packed and just caught up on everything. It was nice spending some one-on-one time with my daddy again. It had been way too long.

Eventually, we stopped for the night and got a run with two double beds in it. The next morning, we took turns getting showers and then got back on the road. Dad stayed in contact with Mom all the way so that she wasn't worried about us. And by nine o'clock that evening, we were pulling into the long driveway that took us to my parents' house.

I was happy to finally be home. I had missed this place so much. I agreed to stay here for the night instead of going to my grandparents' house. And I honestly wasn't sure if Daddy would even let me go stay over there tomorrow. Even though it was close to his house.

When we got to the house, there were a bunch of vehicles sitting out front. I was glad that I put my prosthetics back on at the last truck stop and left them on. I wasn't ready for everyone else to know yet. I was nervous enough as it was.

When Daddy stopped the car, I took a breath in and then let it out.

It was time to face my family, and I wasn't sure if I was ready or not. But it had to be done.

So with a deep breath in and then out, I grabbed my purse and tucked Gab in it, and I grabbed my phone and then got out of the car.

Here goes nothing.