Their Beautiful Broken Queen

Chapter 10

Tulip

When the movie went off, I helped Dad and Mom get all of the grandparents into their rooms and into bed. As I was helping my grandma, Willow, she said, "I know that something bad has happened to you. I can see it behind your eyes. If it's what I'm thinking it is, it will take time, but you'll soon be able to get past it. You never get over the loss of a child, but you are able to move forward."

I looked at her as we walked down the hall and asked her, "How did you know? And how can you be sure that I'll be able to move past it?"

"I know because I was once in your position. I lost a baby when your mom was just a baby. I think she was about one or two at the time. I wasn't very far along when I miscarried, but it still hurt. Even after all of this time, I wonder about that little soul. What would they be like today, and would it have been a boy or a girl? You'll eventually be able to have other kids. And it won't feel like you're replacing that baby, just adding to your family. When you're ready to talk about it, we are all here for you," she told me.

"I know that you are grams. It's been a couple of years now, and it's still hard. I think about him every day. He's not all that I lost that day. But I'm not ready to talk about it yet. I will in time, but right now we need to get you and grandpa both better. And the other grandparents as well. I also have someone that I need to talk to first," I told her.

"Well, just know that if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. Always. I love you, sweet girl," she told me.

"I love you to grams," I said.

I helped her into her room and into bed beside grandpa. After I gave them both a hug and a kiss, I turned the big light off and shut their door. I then went and hugged and kissed my other set of grandparents.

Once we had them all in bed, I grabbed a bottle of Gatorade from the fridge so that I could head up to bed. I sat at the island to wait for mom and dad so that I could tell them both goodnight.

When mom came in, she gave me a hug and said, "I know that something has happened. I'm not sure what happened, but I know that something did. When you were a kid, you pulled away from us, and I know that was because of Sean. But three years ago, something big happened to keep you away from all of us. You dont have to tell me now, but just know that I'm here when you need me. I will always be here when you need me. You could murder someone, and you know that I'd help you hide the body and be your alibi. I love you, little pebles."

"I love you too, Mom. And you're right, years ago I pulled back from the family because of Sean. Like I told Daddy, I think that Sean somehow got the DNA test messed with to show that I was his. I dont think that I am. I look and act more like Daddy than I do Sean. The s**t that I went through at his house is something that we'll sit and talk about one day. As far as the other, three years ago, I went through something horrible. I'm not ready to talk about it yet. I need to speak to someone else first. But when I'm ready, I'll sit down and talk with you and the rest of the family about it. Just know that what I went through changed me, in more than one way. Now I'm tired after that drive, so I'm heading to bed. I just wanted to say goodnight before I went to bed. I love you," I told Mom and Dad.

"We love you, too, Pebbles. Come on, I'll walk you up to bed," Dad told me. Then he looked at Mom and said, "I'll make sure that she's settled into her room, and then I'll lock everything up before I come to bed. Why dont you go soak in the tub? After all of the stress of the past week, I'm sure that you could use a good soak."

"That's a good idea. I'll see you in a few," Mom told him, and then headed to their room. I grabbed my Gatorade and let Dad help me upstairs.

When we got to my room, I said, "I have to take my prosthetics off. I have shorts on under my pants. When I came out of the bathroom earlier, I was glad that I had gotten dressed already. Stone was standing by my bed, looking at the prosthetics. Since I wasn't wearing them, I had to tell him some of what happened. He's got more questions for me, but I told him I couldn't answer anything else until I talked to Shadow. And that's a conversation that I'm not ready to have. I know that he's going to be pissed at me."

While I was talking to him, I sat down on the bed and took my pants and prosthetics off for the night. And then I set them between the bed and the nightstand. That way, they were close if I needed them. I also put my phone and drink on the nightstand. And Dad plugged my phone charger in for me so that I could charge my phone. We kept talking while we were doing that.

"Maybe, but if you tell him that you tried to get a hold of him, I'm sure that he'll understand. It's not your fault that his CO was a d**k. Give it a day or two, and get settled in out at the house, and then talk to him. When you're ready to talk to him, just let me know, and I'll have him come out to the house to talk to you. That way, you're alone for that conversation. If you need anything during the night, just text me. I always leave my phone on during the night. I love you, my Pebbles," Daddy told me.

"I will, and I love you to Daddy. Thanks for helping me up here," I said.

"You're welcome, babygirl," he said and then left the room. Thankfully, he turned the light out on his way out the door so that I didn't have to worry about it.

After covering up with the blankets, I turned the TV on and settled in to watch a movie as I fell asleep. But all I could think about was the fact that I was so close to Shadow after being so far away from him for the past year or so. I missed him like crazy, and as much as I wanted to see him, I was also afraid to see him. But I knew that I was going to have to sooner or later.

Eventually, I fell asleep and managed to sleep all night without having any nightmares. It was rare that I had nights like that, and I'm glad that last night was one of those nights. I'd love to have more of these nights. I forgot what it was like to sleep through the night without nightmares and wake up feeling refreshed in the morning. It's nice.