Battered to Loved

5.

5.

Once we arrived at the park like clockwork, they both went running to the library, I couldn’t help but laugh because I know them well enough. Pheonix is looking for a book about space and Legacy is just trying to find a new picture book she hasn’t seen. They both find the book they want and sit down in the bean bag chairs. They are allowed to take one book with them and have a week to return it. Pheonix usually always takes a book home and returns it. Mrs. Smith brought him here to bring the book he had from last time back. Legacy doesn’t bring any books home. I sit in one of the chairs to watch them. Thirty minutes later they are ready to go play. Pheonix handing me the book he wants to take home so I can put it in my backpack for him.

We begin walking to the playground. They both head towards the group of kids on the pirate ship jungle gym to play. I find a seat on one of the benches the parents sit on and watch them. I am always watching and observing everything and everyone. I never know if Michael will just show up from nowhere or send one of his goons to find us. I know he meant by what he said when he said that he would get us back. So, I always need to keep an eye out for suspicious behavior to keep us safe. To keep us away from that man, I refuse to put my kids in danger again or lose my progress of getting my mental health together. He just wanted me barefoot and pregnant while he had side girlfriends or to use me as his scapegoat when he got mad. I am not even sure how Talia met him or anything. If it wasn’t for them both I wouldn’t have a better life. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have the two people in my life I love the most. So that is the only good thing in my life that I can thank them for, otherwise there is nothing to thank them for.

Hours later watching the kids play and talking to a few of the adults who come here regularly with their kids that know us I noticed a strange man watching the kids and me. He wasn’t sitting with the parents and no kids were running up to him like he was a dad there. But I wasn’t really sure if he was watching the kids and me at first or someone else. So, I made a mental note of his features. Every detail of them. I needed to keep an eye on him. I wasn’t sure what he was there for, what his plans were or anything. I couldn’t show fear in case it was one of Michaels goons. All of the kids are playing tag with each other. When one of the moms walk up to me and fear in her eyes. Her name is Katelin and she brings her son Dennis here a lot. She has a past similar to mine, so I can understand why she is scared.

“Do you see that man over there watching the kids?” She asks me.

“I see him, I have been keeping an eye on him as I watch the kids. Do you know him?” I asked her.

“Never seen him before. Which is what makes me even more scared. None of the kids have walked up to him like he has a kid here. And us who know each other and the kids there isn’t a kid here we don’t know. I have asked the others if they have seen him and they said yes and that they have been keeping an eye on him too. What if Daryl sent someone for Dennis and I?” She says fear visible in her voice.

I hugged her “It is okay, I thought the same thing minutes ago about Michael. It is why I have been keeping an eye out. No need to show fear. You know as well as I do that they prey on fear and laugh at it. Keep your head up, act as if you haven’t seen him and stay strong. When you leave make sure no one is following you. If someone is, you already know what to do. I know you have a safe plan in place like I do.” I reassured her by trying to calm her down. Letting her know she isn’t alone, reminding her of her safety plan.

“I can’t live that way again and neither can Dennis.” She says tears welling in her eyes.

“I know neither can I but he isn’t going to do anything. At least not with a group of people in broad daylight. You have to remember that. You have to remember your safety plan. If it makes you feel better the kids and I can follow you even if it is to a nearby diner or something to make it seem like we are coming with you for something.” I reassure her again.

By this time Legacy is running to me crying and Pheonix in toe behind her. Pheonix looks worried while Legacy is holding her hand.

“Mom, she fell over a log over there and hurt her hand.” Pheonix tells me.

Taking Legacy’s hand and examining it appears to be nothing but a scratch. “Mommy it really hurts.” She says sniffling her tears.

“Do you need me to kiss it better baby?” I ask her

She shakes her head and I kiss her hand before she runs off with her brother to play again. Looking up the man is gone. But Katelin is still by me with fear in her eyes still.

“Katelin he is gone now, look.” I told her.

“I seen him leave in a grey Mercedes. I am still just scared. Maybe you and the kids can follow us to the nearby diner. It will make me feel better.” She tells me trembling her words.

“We can do that.” I say smiling.