Will You Kiss Me Now?

"We're not getting anywhere with this, Maggie. Why don't we take a break and get back to it after lunch?" "It's getting personal, Ross. I just can't let it go right now. I know it's in here somewhere. I can see that page in my head. I KNOW it's in one of those books! It has to be. Why do only fictional characters have a photographic memory?" Ross excelled at reading people, so it was easy for him to see the hope and desperation in Maggie's hand gesture every time she turned another page. He also had noticed that she was holding a massive volume without difficulty. He had tried so hard to stay focused on the research, but the thought that he could not have spent the last 20 minutes holding that heavy book while standing was bugging him. Ross picked a similar volume from the shelf and randomly opened it. His eyes were now fixed on Maggie, trying to replicate how she held the book. As he found a comfortable position, he estimated he could keep that book still for five minutes, maybe seven. "What volume is that?" Maggie raised her head from the book and fixed Ross. Her eyes looked tired but still curious. Ross stared back at her. "I... I don't know. I've just picked it up. I'm desperate, Maggie. And hungry." Ross knew he could only avoid Maggie's questions by putting his eyes down on the book and pretending he was reading. He turned two more pages in silence, hoping that Maggie would also be back at her search. He could feel his muscles relax when he heard the familiar sound of her turning page after page. It was a calming noise, and the sound almost made him drop the volume. "Damn, this is heavy," he thought to himself. But then his eyes slipped back to the page, and a name captured his attention. "I think I found something, Maggs." The woman closed the book and put out her left hand, trying to take Ross's volume. She took the volume from his hands and started reading. The automatic gesture should have passed unnoticed, but Ross had thought about it for too long to let it go. "Well done, Ross. Diane will likely win this case, you know?" "How on Earth can you hold these volumes? They look like bloody magazines in your arms!" Ross exploded. Maggie looked at her arms, then moved her eyes to Ross. "I work out," Maggie said without blinking. "We're working 70 hours a week. When do you have time to exercise?" Ross lowered his arms and followed Maggie with his eyes as she slowly put back one of the volumes. Then, she looked at the lucky page one more time before slowly closing the book. She turned to leave. "Let's go, Ross. I'm taking this to Diane, and then we can have lunch." Ross couldn't speak. His arms were sour, and his mind was wandering. "Lovely," he was finally able to say. *** Ross Maggie's sandwich was huge. She ate like a truck driver, and as I looked back at my lunch, I noticed how my sandwich was only making her lunch look even larger. "Is this due to the workout, too?" I asked. It was only when she stopped chewing that I realized I had said that out loud. Her face seemed confused, but I'm sure she was just uncomfortable. "Where are your manners, Ross?" I made sure I only said this inside my head for once. "Your appetite," I said, forcing a smile. Maggie finished her bite, and I could see how careful she was, almost forcing herself to slow down. "I guess," she finally answered. "I haven't had breakfast this morning. I woke up late and went right to the library to help you find the verdict. I was hungry, too, you know?" I started laughing. She knew how to make me feel better. Ever since she arrived at the office eight months ago, I had this feeling we would become friends. Law school was long and painful, and I failed the bar exam twice. Diane gave me a job as an assistant and tried to be nice to me. She hoped I would finally pass the exam and could get a more active role in her office. Her law firm had been growing, and she could use more lawyers. She hired Maggie eight months ago to help run the business. I knew she'd been keeping an office for me, too, but I still didn't feel ready to become a lawyer. My colleagues at law school and other lawyers have made me feel uncomfortable. But nothing ever felt wrong with Maggie. She never seemed to care about who I was and why I hadn't made it into the bar yet. She even came down to the library on a Saturday morning to help me. And this wasn't the first time she's been putting away her work to save me from drowning. Maggie had been almost like a sister to me. She was so kind sometimes that I could barely believe she was actually a lawyer. I looked at her and wondered how she had survived law school. It must have been hard for her. "Any plans for the rest of the day?" Maggie's question brought me back to my sandwich. "Diane made sure I would not have a weekend," I said. "She never wastes an opportunity to punish me for not retaking the bar exam." "You should. It's time." "And who would run this office then?" I asked, trying to distract her. "Come work out with me. I'll talk to Diane." "I don't know. I'm not cut out for this, Maggie." "Trust me. You'll have fun." *** Maggie took me to a filthy gym close to our office. It was in the basement of a dry cleaner, and it smelled like soap and sanitizer inside. Yet, it seemed filthy. The lack of natural light and the old equipment made me feel uncomfortable in this place. The more time I stared at the furniture around me, the more doubts I had about my ability to stand up to this woman. How did she even convince me to be here today? My only consolation came from the fact that we were almost alone. I saw two other guys training; their bodies made me feel weak, and the heavy volumes in the library came back to mind. I thought these men could easily hold the entire shelf with one hand. No wonder Maggs didn't seem to care about that heavy volume this morning. I watched her stretching and exercising, but I couldn't convince myself to follow her. After 20 minutes, she came toward me. "Now I'm ready," she said. "Great. So, do we go now?" I asked, happy to get out of here. Maggie laughed, and her laugh was nothing like what I was used to in the office. I couldn't think of any adjective to describe her at that moment. She just seemed free and comfortable, like this gym was her home. "Oh, Ross. I'm just getting started." I noticed a huge man behind her. "Are you ready to spar, M?" "Be right there." Maggie winked at me, and her hand gesture told me to follow her. I wish I could describe what I was seeing, but it was all so confusing. I've never been into sports, so seeing Maggie in the ring filled my head with questions and made my stomach shrink. Their fight was a barbaric dance, and I could feel the pain every time they hit each other. I wish I knew the name of this sport or why she smiled as she was obviously getting hurt. My brother loved boxing, but this was not what I grew up with. She didn't even seem to care that her opponent was twice her size. I didn't like what I saw, yet I couldn't take my eyes off her either. And then it happened. Seeing blood on Maggie's nose and lips, my head started spinning. My legs became weak, my knees failed me, and everything became black. *** Maggie "I'm so sorry, Ross. Please, forgive me. I don't know what I was thinking. Bringing you here was a mistake. Wake up!" I made sure I kept the ice on his head to counter the bruise. Ross fell and hit his head while I was sparring. He fainted out of the blue. Was he claustrophobic? Or overworked? I should've known better than bringing him here. And the thought Diane would know about this scared me. She cared so much about Ross, and I was supposed to take care of him and help him enter the bar. Not drag him to the gym and cause him a concussion. "Oh, Maggs. Are you okay?" Ross asked. "Am I okay? Ross, you're the one who fainted. I should be asking you that." "All that blood, Maggs," he whispered, and I finally realized what had happened. I started laughing. "I'm so sorry for dragging you here." I hugged him for a few seconds. He felt weak and lost in his thoughts. He was probably uncomfortable with this situation, and my laugh was only making things worse. "Let's get you home." *** I dropped Ross in front of his apartment. I only left after I reminded him to take things slowly and not overwork himself during the rest of the weekend. "Please, call me if you need anything," I said as I returned to the car. My stomach growled, and I suddenly realized I was hungry. I could get takeaway for dinner and get back to Ross's apartment to keep an eye on him. He's a foodie, and fancy dinners are his thing, so I had no idea about how much he would enjoy some spring rolls and fried rice. Chinese food was not exactly my favorite either, but I knew a good restaurant two blocks away, and I could get back there in less than 30 minutes. I texted Ross to let him know about my dinner plans and then jumped into the car. I heard the call, and I answered without even checking who was calling. I was sure Ross was trying to talk me out of fried rice and convert me to fancy restaurants. As if I was going to agree on a Saturday night dinner somewhere fancy with him in that condition. "Hey, M. How are you?" The voice didn't belong to Ross, and my heart broke into a million pieces as I forced myself to answer with a smile. "Hi, handsome. All is good in paradise. How are you holding on?" "I'm not. And I'm coming to see you. Meet me tomorrow morning at our regular place. Maybe we can spar and catch up. I trust you still know how to kick a man's ass, right?" "Wait and see, baby. Wait and see." "That's my baby girl." I smiled, but I could feel a tear falling down my cheek. "Don't forget to take your vitamins, doll," I said and forced myself to laugh. He hanged up. I pulled over in front of the Chinese restaurant but couldn't get out of the car. My body was shaking, and I could hear a howl in my head. "I miss him, too, Storm." My wolf needed a few minutes to calm down. She wanted to take over and run back home, but we both knew that was impossible. I felt sorry for her and myself. Keeping her trapped inside my mind was the most difficult choice I've ever had to make. But we must live with the consequences of our choices, and we had both agreed this was our best shot to stay true to ourselves. *** Ross I opened the door, and there she was, carrying bags of Chinese food and something that seemed like cheap beer. I hated the smell, but I couldn't let her know. It was thoughtful of her to think about dinner, and the need to be grateful for her kind gesture was more powerful than my personal taste. "That is so kind of you. Please, come in. I've already set the table for us. Wine?" I had a bottle of Sauvignon St.Valentin ready for us. I couldn't do anything about the dinner. Had to make sure dinner was bearable. And I had a hunch she would appreciate a good wine just as much as I did. I could tell from the first sip she knew how to savor the drink. I had no more doubts about her, and that was as much of a good time as any other moment to embarrass myself even further and, for once in my life, not mind my own business. "I can tell you like the wine," I started. "It's the perfect match for this. I've never thought about this combination before tonight," she answered without a change in her tone. "Nothing elevates a quick dinner like a good glass of wine. I must confess that, for a moment, I was worried you would resent me for not opening the beer." "It came with the dinner menu. I'm not a fan. Beer's never been my thing." "Is wine your thing?" "I can appreciate a good wine. But I don't keep a seller in my apartment," she answered with a smile. She was good at this game. And I could have continued this for hours without getting bored. But I wasn't doing this for fun. And, if there's something people like me, or her, for this matter, couldn't counter, it was blunt, unpolite honesty. So, I just dropped the question. "Why do you work for Diane?" "Well, I needed a job. She needed help. It just happened." "Things don't just happen to people like us, Margaret. Our lives are planned long before we are even born," I said and grabbed the bottle. "More wine?" "Yes, please," she said with a fake smile. But I could see the confusion in her eyes. If only my mother could see me now, talking about family secrets and complaining in front of a stranger. That thought brought a sad smile to my face. This was going against all I had ever been taught, but I knew I had to break the ice with the woman in front of me if I wanted to get to know her. "What is it that they call us these days?" I paused for a moment. "Old money?" I laughed. "It's okay, Margaret, you can talk to me. We're on the same team." "What do you..." "You are never late, you have a lady's manners, the perfect accent, and the way you walk when you enter a room... If it weren't for your appetite and your vocabulary when you're mad, I'd say you're a princess. And above everything else, you're the only one who hasn't asked THE question when you learned my family name." "The question?" I put on a grimace, widely opened my eyes, and said with a high voice: "McKenzie as in McKanzie Oil? Or McKenzie, Sloan, and Robert?" I added in my normal voice: "You should see their faces when I say "both" without even blinking." She laughed for about two minutes straight, then somehow relieved, answered while looking me straight in the eyes: "So much about small talk. Should I do the dishes, or do you have a cleaning lady?" "I can do the dishes, my lady. Don't let my trust fund fool you. But you might as well return my honesty. Why do you work for Diane?" "I told you. I needed a job. You'd be surprised to know I don't have a trust fund. I do have a decent sum from my father, but I still need a job to make a living. And Diane's law firm is simply, let's say, convenient for my situation. You know too well, that it's not easy to stay away from the family business." *** Maggie Ross had perfect dinnerware and wine to go with my fried rice. Maybe this man was trying too hard, but I wasn't going to make him feel embarrassed about it. If he wanted to make this a fancy dinner, then so be it. I was slowly eating my dinner, careful to keep the conversation around cases and clients. I had no intention of ever mentioning the gym incident again, so the fact that he didn't seem interested in the topic made me relax. I was too worried about making him feel confident around me again to notice that he had other plans. So, his sudden conversation shift caught me off guard. "I can tell you like the wine," he started. His tone was calm and overconfident, and I immediately knew that things might slip in the wrong direction if I didn't pay attention. He had a familiar way of accentuating syllables and was saying one thing while his eyes and body language were sending mixed messages. I closed my eyes for less than a second, and my mind took me back to my parents' house. My mother's calming voice and way of saying so much without saying anything came back to mind instantly. I had no idea what Ross was after, but he was playing a game I'd known too well to let go of without some teasing. "It's the perfect match for this. I've never thought about this combination before tonight," I said, trying to buy myself some time to assess Ross's intentions. "Nothing elevates a quick dinner like a good glass of wine. I was worried you would resent me for not opening the beer." "It came with the dinner menu. I'm not a fan. Beer's never been my thing," I said, looking straight into his eyes. "Is wine your thing?" "I can appreciate a good wine. But I don't keep a seller in my apartment." I smiled, knowing that he had now understood I was used to this just as much as he was. I had no idea where he was going with this. If he wanted to know more about my past, he could have asked me directly. I've always tried to have a straightforward relationship with him and the rest of Diane's team. I've always been myself around them, so his sudden need to take me back to a place I'd run from made no sense. Why did he prefer this twisted way of doing things? Was he testing me? And then, his next question came, and I quickly realized this was just a diversion. A lawyer's strategy — keep me inside my head while making his way through my thoughts to get right where he needed to be. "Why do you work for Diane?" "Well, I needed a job. She needed help. It just happened," I said without hesitation. "Things don't just happen to people like us, Margaret. Our lives are planned long before we are even born." The honesty in his voice hit me. Was he playing the lawyer, or was he looking for a friend in a world where he belonged just as much as I did? "More wine?" And we were back to square one. "Yes, please," I said, faking a smile. This conversation was confusing, and I was ready to end this and go home. Whatever he thought he knew about me was not true. I had made sure no one would find the truth about me. Yet, a little voice in my head reminded me that he had the resources and connections to dig deep in my past if he wanted to. He played his role pretty well around the team, but so did I. Could he know? "If he knew, he would be scared of you. I don't smell fear." Storm was right. He seemed a bit embarrassed about the way he was leading this conversation. He'd sent mixed signals all evening, but one thing was sure: his eyes had no fear. And no human in his right mind would hold that bottle and pour me wine if they knew the truth about me. Not even a gentleman like Ross. "What is it that they call us these days?" And silence. US? Was he a wolf, too? "Old money?" He laughed. And I could finally breathe again. Even though, for one second there, the thought of bonding with another hiding wolf was tempting. "It's okay, Margaret, you can talk to me. We're on the same team," he added, confusing me again. "What do you..." "You are never late, you have a lady's manners, the perfect accent, and the way you walk when you enter a room... If it weren't for your appetite and your vocabulary when you're mad, I'd say you're a princess. And above everything else, you're the only one who hasn't asked THE question when you learned my family name." "The question?" His face changed for a second: "McKenzie as in McKanzie Oil? Or McKenzie, Sloan, and Robert?" "You should see their faces when I say "both" without even blinking," he said in his normal voice. I laughed for about two minutes. It gave me time to gain control over my emotions again. He thought I was filthy rich, just like him. He hoped to find a companion in this world, and I couldn't blame him. This conversation had scared me for a moment, but those few seconds in which I thought he was also a wolf made me realize how alone I was here. "So much about small talk. Should I do the dishes, or do you have a cleaning lady?" I asked. "I can do the dishes, my lady. Don't let my trust fund fool you. But you might as well return my honesty. Why do you work for Diane?" "I told you. I needed a job. You'd be surprised to know I don't have a trust fund. I do have a decent sum from my father, but I still need a job to make a living. And Diane's law firm is simply, let's say, convenient for my situation. You know too well, that it's not easy to stay away from the family business." I wanted to be honest with him. I couldn't tell him everything, but I had to try to deliver a clear picture. I wasn't filthy rich, but I was running and hiding from my past and my family. We were more alike than we'd known, and that thought made me feel less lonely. I had a friend in Ross, and he was desperate to tell me that. That's why he'd been so weird all evening. Honesty is so against our nature. "Thank you for being my friend, Ross," I added. "But never talk to me like that again. My mother thrived at this game, but I inherited my father's honest character. You never have to mind your words when you're the most powerful person in the room. And I like to speak my mind more than I enjoy playing with words." "Yes, ma'am." He took the dishes and headed toward the kitchen without saying another word. He was close to the kitchen door when I added: "You need a hell of good wine to elevate Chinese food, Ross. But it's a waste. I can think of a dozen better options for that Sauvignon. Let's have dinner in a nice restaurant next time," I added. "Are you asking me out on a date?" "No. I'm just making sure you get the food you're used to instead of feeding you fried rice." "I do have a trust fund, though. Are you sure you don't want to date me?" He laughed. "Nothing as sexy as a trust fund, huh?" "I have a long day tomorrow," I said. "I'd better get going. And before you say another word, I'm not offended or scared of your money. I do have plans for tomorrow morning."