Wonderland

Chapter 13: living louder

Chapter 13: Living Louder

May 4th, 2028

7 days until death

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Chapter 13- Harvey Duke Chandler-

I look horrible, I feel horrible. I’ve lost so much weight, I was just skin and bones now, I was so breakable, I hated it. I just wanted to get up and run, jump, play. if I did that I would die, I was basically a corpse now, the only thing keeping me alive was the magic in these I.V drips.

its sickening really, not being about to do things for yourself. I write letters in my free time, to everyone I love,everyone I have loved.

"hey baby" Rex walked in and softly pressed his lips to my head he's been so good about this, I mean about three weeks ago he had a nervous breakdown when they told us 4 more weeks, then I was a goner. all I could think while he was dry heaving was I’m the one dying and he's having a f*****g panic attack.

I love him though, I always will, I mean it's hard not to love the person who saved you from being in a shitty life.

"Hello" I whispered.

"how are you today?"

this was tradition, he would ask me how I was in some hope that I would be fine one day, that the cancer would just walk off and out of our lives. the sad thing is, I’m supposed to die before our 15th anniversary.

"I’m doing well" I tried to smile but he took my bony hand, "Rex I don't want to die in this hospital"

"what do you want to do?"

"I want to go back to Paris, I want to go the that little bed & breakfast"

"Harvey, if you want it we'll do it" he stood up and walked in minutes later with a nurse behind him.

"Well sweetie looks like you are going to Paris" she said and unhooked my I. V’s.

"what?"

"you said you wanted to go right? well we're going" Rex said.

"I can't believe you" I shook my head.

"C'mon" he picked me up bridal style and I buried my pale face into his neck hiding the embarrassment.

I told him I wanted to say goodbye to the house first, and Misha, I probably wouldn't be seeing him again. I sat on the couch and the 15-year-old boy just sobbed when he saw me.

"Harvey!" he cried hugging me.

"I'm going to miss you so much" I breathed,and Rex smiled sadly as he packed us our things.

"I don't want you to go"

"none of us do" Rex ruffled his hair.

"I love you Misha" I said and wiped a tear from his cheek, "stay strong for me ok?"

"Ok Harvey, I love you too"

"We have to go, got a flight to catch"

I nodded, and Misha gave me one last hug, I walked slowly next to Rex. the plane ride was long but somewhat soothing.

5/8/28

-Rex-

I pushed the door open and threw our bags down. He looked in awe at the view from our window.

"Je T'aime Harvey"

"je t'aime Rex" he kissed me softly.

we laid on the bed, not bothering to get under the covers.

"Rex, describe the sunset" he breathed his eyes closing, he was weak, and I knew it.

"the pink is mixing with the clouds and the red is fading into purple and blue, the sun is halfway down the horizon"

"sounds pretty"

"mmhm"

the weight in my arms was suddenly heavier and I looked down, his eyes were closed and the fist he had made in my shirt was limp.

"Harvey?"

no response

"Harvey!" I shook him but no response.

I pulled his body against my chest and tucked his head under my chin.

"No, not yet, please god, not yet"I cried rocking softy and tears slipped from my eyes, "please not yet, no,not yet"

"Harvey, I love you, so f*****g much, I will never find someone like you, I love you" I kissed his head,"goodbye Harvey"

Dear whoever finds my body,

I can't live without my baby, I know he made me promise, I know I am being selfish but every day without him is hell, I can't hold him, I can't tell him how much I love him, this was my choice, I chose to do this, I must be with him.

on the horrible chance that this is Misha reading this, I am so sorry baby, I am so sorry you must find me like this, please know that Harvey and I loved you so much and you were like our own son.

Goodbye.

~ Terrence Jeremy Chandler

xoxo.