The tomb of loss

Black T-shirt

I got home at almost 10 PM and I felt my eyes burning with exhaustion. Why would he call me “love” when things are the way they are? Who is he kidding? I kept asking myself furiously, while undressing. I checked my phone a couple of times. No messages. No calls. Good. 

Andrew was such a chaos, getting on my last nerve with his stupid so called love for me. I didn’t really understand why he kept saying that because I knew it was a lie. When you really love someone you wouldn’t want to hurt them and he was hurting me and Miley at the same time. Actually, more Miley than me, because I knew what type of person he was... 

I forced myself not to think about him anymore and started thinking about the man he saw. Was Andrew on drugs? Was the dude hot? Was he single? I started laughing at my own thoughts thinking I must be just as crazy. 

I felt like the pillows were just hugging me when I went to bed so I fell asleep faster than the speed of light. Because I fell asleep so fast I forgot to turn off my phone so two hours later it started buzzing. 

“I miss you, beautiful”

I squinted and thought “oh, give me a f*****g break, man” and then got up to get a glass of water. The floor was soaking wet and there was a dripping sound coming from the bathroom. At this point I was pretty much awake and pissed. God damn sewage. But it wasn’t the sewage. Somebody left the water running in the tub and as soon as I realized that I felt like my whole body got drained from every drop of blood. Jesus… Someone broke into my home?

I checked the door - nothing. The windows were sealed. It took me one hour to solve this mystery and I just couldn’t find an explanation for what happened… As I was cleaning the floor, I noticed a piece of paper on my desk. What… in the name of…  

Chaos brings pain, but in the deepest darkness you will find the brightest light.

Now I felt like my whole blood rushed back into me like a wave. A mix of curiosity, anxiety and fear was dwelling on me and I just had to sit down. The piece of paper started floating in the air by itself and a bright flame appeared. The ashes were falling almost mesmerizing, but before they hit the ground, the silhouette of a tall man materialized right in front of me. 

I took a deep breath and suddenly I could smell the ocean breeze. He smelled like summer, vacation, seashells and just pure happiness. His black t-shirt was a perfect fit for him, revealing his strong chest and arms. The veins on his hands were forming an attractive maze in which I knew I could get lost so easily. He wore black pants that sort of got lost in the darkness of the room, he looked like he was floating and he was making me float as well. 

His green eyes looked like an enchanted forest and his lips suddenly moved: 

- Are you… 

I lost it. What he said? I lost it. I was so mesmerized by what was happening that I just couldn’t hear his words so I kind of yelled like an old aunt:

- HUH? WHAT DID YOU SAY?

He burst into the most beautiful laugh I ever heard in my life and repeated: 

- Are you willing to go into the darkness?

Oh, hell, boy, with you? Any-time!

- Uhm… I said confused. I don’t know. What is the darkness?

- Are you willing or not?

For years I have been trying to figure out what to do with my life. The only thing I had going was my boring job, but that wasn’t enough to make me happy by any stretch. Often times I wondered why I still continued to live, it didn’t make sense as nothing was going the way I wanted it to. After a quick evaluation, putting into balance everything I said “Yes” even if that meant death, as Andrew suggested. 

I don’t want to die, but if that happens, I’m fine with it. 

The man looked at me almost without blinking and made a step in my direction. I felt my cheeks go red and my whole body was drowned in… love? 

It can’t be. I don’t even know who he is, I must be dreaming or something. 

He pressed his strong body against mine and I felt so little. His arms wrapped around me felt like branches of a tree pulsating with warmth. I felt his breath on my neck, my knees got weak and I softly heard a whisper in my ear: 

- Hold on.