ON THE EDGE

CHAPTER 15

SHADOWS BETWEEN US **

Kai stood by the balcony of his apartment, unmoving, his eyes fixed on the streetlights far below. From here, the city looked calm. Too calm. But behind him, inside the apartment, everything was falling apart.

The soft click of a door closing caught his attention. He turned slightly. It's been 4 days after Jane’s was murder.

Amara had just come out of the guest room, barefoot, still in the oversized hoodie she hadn't taken off in days. Her hair was dishevelled. Her eyes—lifeless. Like she hadn't slept since the night Jane died. And maybe she hadn't.

She walked into the kitchen slowly, not noticing Kai watching her. She opened the fridge, stared at its contents blankly for a full minute, and then shut it again without taking anything. Her fingers trembled slightly as she turned away.

Kai's chest tightened.

This wasn't her.

She had always carried a kind of fire—even when she was moody or sarcastic or distant, Amara had a kind of light. But now, it was like someone had reached inside her and switched it off. The silence around her wasn't just quiet—it was hollow.

She hadn't laughed since the night Jane died.

She hadn't cried, either.

She just existed.

"Kai," Ethan's voice whispered from behind him. "She's not okay."

"I know," Kai said softly.

They both stood in silence for a moment, listening to Amara's slow steps across the living room, to the way she hesitated before sitting down on the couch, curling into herself like a child.

"She hasn't eaten properly in four days now," Ethan said. "Barely says a word. Doesn't even leave the apartment. You need to talk to her."

Kai didn't answer. His jaw clenched.

Talk to her? What was he supposed to say? "I'm sorry I brought you into my world"? "I'm sorry i couldn't keep you safe"?

Or maybe… "I don't know how to protect you from this anymore."

But he couldn't say that.

Not yet.

Maybe not ever.

Instead, he walked toward her slowly.

"Ama," he said gently.

She didn't respond.

Her gaze was fixed on the muted TV screen—where nothing was even playing. Her body looked small. Distant. As if she were trying to shrink into herself and disappear.

"Can I sit?" he asked.

She gave a faint nod.

He lowered himself onto the couch, giving her space but close enough to reach if she needed. He waited a moment before speaking again.

"I know you're hurting," he said softly. "And I wish I could take the pain away."

She didn't look at him.

She kept staring ahead.

Then, almost in a whisper, she said, "Jane used to hum whenever she did the dishes."

Kai blinked.

"She hated cooking," Amara continued, her voice thin and broken. "But she loved cleaning. She'd wipe everything twice. Even things that were already clean. She said it gave her a sense of control."

Kai nodded slowly.

Amara's hands were trembling again.

"She died because of me, Kai," her voice cracked. "I saw it. I felt it. Her blood… it was on me. On my hands. My clothes. My skin." Her voice broke into a soft gasp. "I couldn't save her. I should’ve listened to you, If I had stayed here and not rented an apartment, this wouldn't have happened. Jane wouldn't be dead now. It's all my fault. "

Kai reached out instinctively, his hand brushing hers. She didn't pull away.

" You're descion to move out wasn't the issue Ama, You're not the reason Jane died," he said gently. "The men who came for you—they are. And we'll find them. I swear it."

She turned to look at him, and for the first time in days, he saw it— her tears ,real pain. Raw. Terrifying.

"I can't sleep," she whispered. "Every time I close my eyes, I hear the gun. I see her falling. I feel the floor shake. I wake up sweating. Screaming. Sometimes, I think I see her standing at the door. Sometimes, I hear her voice in the bathroom. I'm losing my mind, Kai." She held he ears as if hiding from something or someone.

He squeezed her hand tighter.

"You're not losing your mind. You're grieving."

"No," she shook her head slowly. "This is deeper than grief. Im losing my mind."

Her eyes brimmed with tears.

"I should've been the one to die."

Kai's body stiffened.

"No," he said sharply. "Don't say that."

" She knew they came for me. They said we should lay low, we tried talking her to lay low, keep shut or anything, but she wouldn't, she kept talking, her confidence was something else that day. I didn't get it. We were on gunpoint. Why couldn't she lie low? And now she's dead." she sobbed again.

The room fell silent.

Kai closed his eyes, breathing deeply. Then he looked at her.

"You are not to blame for her choice," he said, His voice was low and thick. "Jane was an addict, Ama. Fred confirmed at the station, but I always knew something was off with her. She won't love to see you like this. That I know of."

Amara looked up. Confused "Jane an Addict?" she muttered, how did she not know. If she needed help we were best friends why didn't she tell me?, I told her everything, we shared everything, why would Jane keep this from me, Was she scared?, Were there more secrets"?. The thoughts flooded through her mind.

Later That Day

Amara tried to sit through a class on Zoom.

She stared at her laptop screen, barely hearing a word. The professor's voice blurred into white noise. Her notes remained untouched. She tried to concentrate, but the cursor blinking on the blank document felt like a taunt.

Suddenly, the image of Jane's body flickered in her mind.

A sharp sob escaped her lips. She slammed the laptop shut, pressing her hands against her temples.

"Get it together... get it together," she whispered to herself, over and over again.

But she couldn't.

Nothing about her was together.

---

The Next Morning

Kai had stepped out early. Ethan lingered near the kitchen. She sat on the trying to act normal, but she felt his eyes on her.

She finally spoke, her voice hoarse. "Can you stop watching me like I'm a time bomb?"

Ethan winced. "I didn't mean to... I just... I don't know how to help."

"You can't. Nobody can."

"Ama, it's not your fault."

She looked up at him, eyes burning. "You know nothing, Ethan."

"I do know that for sure."

Ethan moved closer, lowering himself to the edge of the couch. "Ama honour her. Don't let this destroy you, I miss you, I miss the girl you used to be. Im here anytime you need me."

But she was already destroyed.