This is what I always dreamt about

episode #12

The party was in fool swing and I was all by myself, drinking me versine on two bottles of vodka clean with no chaser. I'm going to dink till someone decides to stop me but from the looks of it I am not going to last long.

When I eventually came to the middle of my second bottle the music stopped.

"I think you had enough for one night." someone said 

"No, why don't you come and join me?" I slithered I am really drunk...

"No and I am not in the mood for an argument right now" he said 

Oh so this guy thinks he knows me I'll show him. Putting my brave face on I stand on lumpy legs.(laughing, I never got drunk in my life let alone dink this is fun)

"You think-" I tried to say when I was thrown over his shoulder. Wtf.

I started to struggle in his arms, I'm guessing this guy didn't want to hurt me so his grip wasn't that tight around my waist. I manages to get a grip on my legs to use them and kicked him where the sun only shines once in a while or should I say get soaked.

Lol, I am sorry for kicking that guy. As soon as I managed to get up, I blacked out while hearing screams all around me.

**

When I woke up I was in a room but, it looked more like a basement type of thing I'm not sure its very dark in here. No sign of light. I was feeling really dizzy so I I went back to sleep.

**

For the second time I woke up, I was in the same room same I don't know what time it is either. I rubbed my eyes and trying to sit up strain then I fell off the bed with a throb. That s**t hurt my back really, I stayed there for about 30 minutes or so just trying to wrap my head around what exactly happened to me but, I come up blank. Never mind that s**t.

I get up then seeing a iv strapped to my arm and I gently remove it so that the needle wont get stuck in my arm. (trust me guys just pulling it out like they do on movies is bullshit coz' it is like stuck in your vein so don't try it unless you want to go for surgery.)

I have no idea as to why they would do that so I make my way to the door only to see a lot of hallways. Ok now is not the time to freak out. Just stay calm but, then you get my brain that will just not help with this situation, so here comes the hard breathing and limping.

I take the hallway closer to me, this thing has a s**t load of twists and turns everywhere I go and I cant even breath right. How dramatic thanks body and brain. I start to up my speed when I see a door at the far end of my, I don't know how much hallway, so I run knocking the door open and falling on my side doing so. My vision is getting blurry to the point of me seeing double.

I hear barking and a lot of it so I run to it, once I got up. The grass ain't green here so that means I was in a underground thing. I get to a field that is beautiful now this is green heaven but, its stretching out for miles to no end. I wonder if I am in the same place? I see the dogs but no one else is with them.

I cant cope with the fact that my chest is really burning from the lack of oxygen that I am receiving so I collapse. I feel a tickle on my face when I see my best bud Kade (dog) to the rescue followed by more barking and thumping in the ground, sounds like a heard of paws or foot steps I'm not sure. at this point everything is like blur and the sound are very smudged I cant comprehend what's happening.

I heel hands on me turning me on my side then I see faces of the people who took me in as another mouth to feed. Or so but, I am getting oxygen so that's good right?... When I get my senses back to normal they keep me in this position, and all I am hearing is yelling by no other that my doc herself. I am f****d to the brim she's going to tell them. f**k!!!

I am mentally not prepared for this right now.

"Scout can you hear me" she asked and I moved my eyes to her as a yes 

"Good lord Scout how many times are you going to continue like this? Huh, I thought I made myself pretty clear that I will keep my mouth shut and you take your meds but, no. Do you know you nearly killed yourself!?" she yelled "When was the last time you took your meds? Coz' from this bags that I have with me, you took non of them. What are you trying to prove to yourself?" she paused then continued 

"What would you think would have happened if you haven't taken any, specially at the party when I told you to stop even Kalan tried to tell you but, you had to be you and kick him in his future for crying out loud" yes, for crying out loud will she ever shut up I don't want anyone to know 

She saw the pleading look on my face but she didn't care and told everyone that the meds I take is coz' I am down syndrome, and get anxiety attacks and that brings me to the point where my brain does not get enough oxygen taking me to the stage of illusion. Yea, I'm a simple nut case the only person to ever know that is my brother Caled, who I think is dead or just out of plain sight. I don't know coz' I will never see him again.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes to not see the looks on everyone's faces. I hurt them like this, I didn't tell them and I am sorry for what I did but, I didn't want their sad face or sympathetic faces coz' that's what I got form him all the time. I felt my face yet, and I know I was having some heavy flow of water works right now.

I felt someone scoop me up holding me tightly to them while I cried. I couldn't hold it anymore, I was a sobbing mess to this point. I held on to the person for dear life. I blame myself for everything that happened to my family and to me coz' of who I am and what I am. I am a nut case to the brim.

The person I was holding on to was Jax my only blood. He carried me back inside the building to my room. Kalan protested and told him to put me in his room so that I could stay close to him and he could keep an eye on me. When Jax left a maid came with food, I ate as much as I could but everything I bit on was either disgusting or had no taste, I vomited everything I had left, in my tummy, out. And dear I tell you that it was only fluids which I am guessing was the reason for why the iv was in my arm.

The whole day I stayed in bed feeling sorry for what I have done to myself, doc told me if I don't get up it could cause me to be depressed and it will most definitely lead to suicide. I just didn't feel like doing anything at all let alone leave the room. Kyle, Logan and Luca with their parents were with me all the time to help clean me or give me my meds or to watch me eat, while Kalan and my brother went to work. They even tried talking to me and when they do I would start crying all over again.