To my North Star, With Love

It's been months since I heard from you. It's been months since we talked. To be precise, it's been 449,265 minutes since you were gone. "Everyone has their own North stars to show them the right way". You used to say this to me often, when we talked about love or friendship or whatever. This was favourite closing line for our conversations. And I believed you. Honestly, I'm not much of a believing sort of person. I mean.. I didn't believe that the Earth was round until I read it in a book, but somehow I believed you. I trusted you. I don't know why, I just did. When you were there, you were there everywhere in my life! Be it anything, the first person I reached out to was you. Even being a few oceans apart, we were closer than ever. Long distance doesn't work, ha! We worked out our one pretty well.. but, hey.. what was between us, was it love? Or was it friendship? Or was it something we couldn't define? I searched for these answers for a really, really long time,and when I finally had them, I didn't have you. Whatever it was, we were happy, weren't we? I'd like to think that we just went wherever the flow took us. Rather you took me there. When I met you, I was a radar-less ship. You showed me the direction, the right one. You became my North Star. And then suddenly, you left. Forever. It's not that I haven't lost people before, but your loss was something I couldn't amass. Maybe because I didn't even know what I had lost, who I had lost. Who were you to me? Maybe.. maybe.. I still don't know that. Do you? Now, considering that we were lovers, I'm not saying that I'll never fall in love again. Because I know I will. But even if I do, one thing that I can tell is that no love I'll ever have will be like the one we had between us, because there will not be YOU in it. Too cheesy? Talking about cheesy, remember those summer nights? Those tender hours we passed looking at the stars together, yet far apart with the hope that the stars do connect us. I believe there are a lot of infinities other than this one, many versions of myself I know nothing about. But I know that in every single one of them, I'll meet you for sure. And maybe in one, I can finally tell you how I feel. Face-to-face. Even now, while I'm writing this, I'm sitting under a clear, winter sky filled with stars. I can see the North star, shining brightly, more brightly than the rest. And somewhere deep in my heart, I feel it's you, I know it's you. And I really hope that someday in this world, I can meet you again. When we do, I'll take you to my favourite place, and while we look up at my favourite patch of the sky with Ed Sheeran softly singing in our ears, I'll reach for your hand and this time, surely I'll tell you that I love you. What do you think about it? Will you say the same? Whatever you'll say, I will just hope for the best! "It's just another night, And I'm staring at the moon..."