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1249 Words
I practically sing the damn words as i look at my new fresh ailm marks on the palms of my hands, a simple cross within the circle. It was simple yet honestly the most beautiful mark I’d ever seen
“No we don't, all we need is each other now”
He says, turning to pull my face down to his and slamming his lips against my own, i kiss him back as a weight falls off my shoulders knowing that i wouldn't be leaving desmond in this world without me, at least we had each other, that was the only positive thing about this, he was mine and i was his and now it was official. We were one.
“But now you need to eat”
He whispers pulling back, i huff sitting up so i'm straddling his waist, not feeling even a little hungry
“So do you”
“Ill eat if you eat”
I roll my eyes, looking to the tray by the bed, it had granola and yoghourt so i grab one bowl and one spoon, scooping just a little up and i place it at his lips, he smiles grabbing another spoon and he does the same thing for me
“I’ll feed you if you feed me”
“Deal”
I answer opening my mouth and taking the food from the spoon. As it touches my tongue my stomach rolls uncomfortably, the feeling almost foreign as my body rejects the food but i fight it, instead i look to desmond as he slowly chews his own, i try my best to think of him, i was doing this for him, i was staying alive for him, he was staying alive for me, we were both doing what gavin would have wanted
“Maybe after this we could go for a walk?”
I ask, needing some air and nature, it always had a way of calming me or easing my pain
“We can try, we could probably watch the end of training if you want”
I didn't really feel like seeing people but their alpha just died, maybe they need to see us. I take another bit of food but this time i cant hide my reaction as bile rises up my throat, i swallow it down and shake my head
“Im sorry i cant, can i try to eat more later?”
He smiles at me sadly
“Yeah we can eat after if you want?”
“Yes please, here have some”
I tell him putting another spoonful to his mouth, he screws up his nose and shakes his head
“No, i dont want any either”
“Id kill for a coffee”
I tell him, he chuckles slapping my butt cheek
“Well lets get you that before you start killing folk”
I climb off him and i head straight for the closet, i pull on one of desmonds shirts and some shorts and sneakers
“Im sure they wont care if i look like s**t”
I tell him, he shakes his head as he pulls on his own shirt
“Thats impossible, you could never look like s**t”
“Yeah right, i definitely look like s**t today”
I pull my hair up into a messy bun on my head and i wait for desmond to finish getting himself ready, we wouldn't train but we can always walk past everyone else while they train, plus its on the way to the waterfall that i want to walk to.
He takes my hand and he leads us out of the room and up to the kitchen where everyone was having coffee, they looked surprised to see us and even more surprised to see me filling coffee cups
“You have your marks– oh s**t you did the deed”
Isla snaps shocked making drake spit coffee over the countertop as his face flushes red
“Well i mean thats one way of avoiding the family”
Ailm adds with a wink and a chuckle, i would probably be bright red but honestly it felt like i didnt give a f**k anymore
“Yeah, im just happy i dont need to see them”
I whisper taking a drink
“Who exactly do you both not want to see?”
Drake asks as he wipes up his mess
“Carter and carly, they knew and they still let it happen”
I answer immediately, jake and deacon look at each other and back at us
“Yes they did but its not how you think”
Desmond growl
“I dont give a f**k what excuse he has, he knew and he didnt f*****g tell us”
“I'm not saying he was right im just saying to listen to the reason and then decide”
Deacon asks, desmond glares at him but i catch his hand and i squeeze it
“I want to know”
He looks at me worriedly as my heart starts to race, why would they have let it happen, it makes no sense to me. I take a gulp of coffee as deacon and jake look between each other
“There was a possibility that it would happen yes, but both carter and carly never believed she was capable of that, they also seen an outlook of where gavin actually went home with her before he realised he loved you both”
I growl shaking my head
“That would have never happened!”
“Exactly, it would have never happened just like they thought her killing him would have never happened. I've known Carter my entire life, we were at war against each other for so many years but even when he was angry, even when he wanted to kill me he always text to say if we were getting attacked, or the coordinates of where we would find a hellhound camp.”
He sighs looking genuinely regretful about their unfortunate past
“Never once has any of us ever been harmed because he knew about it and he stopped it from happening. He has only ever made 2 mistakes before now and that was when carly died and now gavin. If he knew he would have never allowed it to happen. He almost killed her for this, he almost stripped her off her title and made her rogue and after they left he wanted to go after her and kill her again but carly stopped him. He blames himself for this and he is hurting too.”
I had no words to describe the furry that flowed through me at that moment. Like a battle inside my soul, one begging me too forgive and another who was ready to burn down the world just to get back at them all.
“All i ask is you think about it, but life is short and anger hurts us more than it hurts others”
Jake says finishing for him, i grab a joint from the joint box and i walk out, not wanting to talk or listen anymore than i already had. I hear desmond scold them all for pissing me off but i just couldn't comprehend the pain bubbling in my chest never mind the anger. I just wanted to talk to him one last time, i wanted him to tell me how i should feel about everyone involved.
- Writer
