CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

"What do you mean by that? You just want to give up on us, on Lily and me?" My eyes started to water and my voice cracked as I spoke. " I never said I'm giving up on anybody, Susan. This marriage is not working out. We both know it hasn't been working for a long time now", my husband said, shocking me. I hadn't expected this. It was meant to be the perfect day for both of . Whyy was he doing this now? What changed? " And you're deciding to break up with me on the night of our anniversary? On a night we are meant to be having a good time with all those smiling faces out there? What happened to you, Mason? I'm supposed to pretend to be okay?" I sobbed, the tears were already streaming down my cheeks uncontrollably. " For heaven's sake Suzzy, this isn't a big deal! You're making it too complicated", he half yelled at me. " You want to stay married to me lawfully and expect me to be okay with you having extramarital affairs. How is that not already complicated?" " I've thought of this and there's no going back, so for the sake of our daughter and the business please let this stay between us, we can pretend to be happy in front of everyone just for one night." " I'm sorry I can't do that", I regained myself and wiped off the tears with the back of my hands. " You're going to do it, for Lily. What do you think her friends at school will say? What do you think the media will say about us? You want to put your daughter through all that trauma?" I was horrified and couldn't speak. I knew the stakes here, if not for anything for my child. This was going to traumatize her. I grew up without a father so I knew exactly what that could do to a girl. "Don't put me through this, Mason, I beg you." I loved him, I loved him almost too much It hurts. He's playing mind games, he knows I'll do anything to keep my daughter safe, and he's using her, he's using my weakness against me. He has no right to do that. "I know you won't let Lily get hurt, this is the only way Susan" He approached me and tucked the stray curls behind my ears, looking into my glossy eyes with so much compassion I thought I'd melt like wax under his gaze. My throat was tied and I couldn't speak even if I tried. We were in the Masters bedroom of the mansion. The living room area was packed with friends and families, even business colleagues who all came to celebrate 17 years of marriage with us. Lily and I had planned the event with the help of my best friend, Audrey. Everything was perfect, from catering to decor to music, it was all perfectly done but The marriage being celebrated was in crisis. "Let's get this over with" He said, taking my hands as we walked out of the room and into the living room filled with beaming faces. It was time for us to give our speech and I couldn't be more terrified. Standing in front of these people, pretending I'm the luckiest and happiest woman in the world while my heart was bleeding with so much pain. "I can't believe it's been 17 years already. It's been the most blissful years of my life, the joys and laughters, tears and sadness, wins and losses, disappointments and achievements" I stood beside Mason as he gave his speech that was obviously warming the hearts of the crowd but piercing mine, I knew if this went on for too long I'd burst out in tears and make a big scene on this stage, so I stood still praying this would end fast. He continued "It feels like just yesterday we met in college, year 3, finance. The minute I saw you walk into professor Bennett's class I knew it will be impossible to forget you. We've been through so much together. I have no regrets, only experiences because all those struggles have paved the way for my growth. I'll always Love you and I'm grateful for all the ways you've supported me, and utterly grateful for giving me Lily, the evidence of our Love" I felt my eyes sting with every word he said the tears were at the brink of overflowing. He was stealing glances at me as he spoke. His eyes filled with admiration. I scanned the crowd absentmindedly and met eyes with Audrey. I could tell she knew exactly what was going on. One blink and my cheeks were wet. Everyone thought it was tears of Joy so I didn't try stopping the tears. "Thank you all for being present to celebrate our Love" He finished, raising his champagne glass before taking my hands and leading me off the stage. My knees were weak and it was a surprise I could still stand. The house emptied at 11pm. All the guests had left and so did my best friend, she had a shoot first thing tomorrow. She only promised to come see me when she was done at the studio. Lily was already in bed and Mason was nowhere to be found. The cleaners got to work already. I was left alone. I undressed and stepped into the shower. Setting it on steaming hot, I let the water graze my porcelain skin. I knew I'd be red by the time I stepped out but I couldn't care less. I wished the water would wash away the ache in my heart, wished it'll cleanse the pain, and hoped it'll erase all memories of the terrible night I'd had. I stood under the steaming water, Mind clouded and my body too numb to make any movements. An hour later I got out and got ready for bed. I was going to be sleeping alone tonight, and had no idea where my husband went. The previous night went by in a blur, I was too exhausted to keep my eyes open or let my mind wander. My insomnia certainly gave up this time. The house was spotless now. I got into the kitchen and met my daughter brewing a cup of coffee. "Good morning Mom". She greeted when she saw me "Morning honey" I approached her, placing a kiss on her forehead. She was dressed and ready for school. "Have you seen Dad?" She asked and that's when it hit me that Mason hadn't come home yesterday. He's never slept out without letting me know. I know we're just pretending, but I thought he'll still be available for Lily. "I guess he left early for work," I lied hoping she didn't suspect anything. Lily is smart, with time she'd realize what was going on. She left for school and I decided to make breakfast for myself. I placed the pan on the stove and buttered it. I was chopping veggies when I heard Mason come into the kitchen. He reached for the fridge to grab a bottle of water. I wondered if this was the same man I used to stare at with so much admiration for all those years, if he was the same man that I loved. He was handsome with this boyish cool aura. He was certainly an athlete in high school, soccer quarterback and captain precisely. The guy every girl had a crush on. What changed? Where did my Mason go? I can't look at him the same anymore. He was walking out when I spoke. "You should have let me know you weren't coming home, Lily asked " "I had somewhere important to be" He simply said without turning to look at me "You can't even look at me now?" "Susan I'm tired, just let me be" He was facing me now, frowning in disgust. So I disgusted him too. I felt my anger rising. The words rolled off my tongue before I could stop myself. "Of course you would be tired after the night you had with whoever she is" He was upset, the way his brows furrowed and his eyes darkened, I knew I'd crossed a line. Hell! I tried to mature, but maturity didn't stand a chance against the hurt I felt. "Don't piss me off, I'm trying hard make this work as absurd as this situation is" My anger disappeared and my voice softened. " What changed?" I spoke almost in a whisper. "We fell out of Love a long time ago, it happens." " I still love you so much Mase, so, so much it hurts" " I'm in love with someone else" And those words was all it took to shatter my heart to a million pieces. My cheek felt damp, I hadn't even realized I'd been crying…