We Are Forever

Oh Joy

Through the next week all my furniture arrives and my room is finished. The plumbing and my bathroom are completed as well. My aunt decided on a regular tub instead of the stand up shower because it’s easier to bath a baby in the tub apparently. When you walk into the attic your in my living room area complete with a tv stand and small tv and a couch then the far corner next to the living area is where my bedroom area is. I have a queen bed and maroon bed spread and the baby’s crib is set against the wall across from my dresser. Then in the corner farthest from the doorway is my bathroom. The construction workers put up boards and sheet rock and hung up a doors for my bedroom area and my bathroom. It really is like a small apartment now. My aunt also had them put tile down on the floor in my bathroom and kitchen. It is very homey. I even have a small circular table and two chairs in the kitchen. I finally called the doctors office my mom gave me the number for and made an appointment for the last week in October. It’s only a couple weeks away. My aunt also decorated our front yard with headstones and skeletons and fake jack-o-lanterns.

I enrolled in school last week as well and today is my first day. Aunt Jenna drove me so I wouldn’t need to take the bus. Overall things are going fantastic. Except one thing about this pregnancy. Morning sickness. It lasts all day long. Why is it called morning sickness if it lasts all day? Oh joy!!

There’s not much difference at this school then my last except that there is no Adam and his friends or Yazmin. No one is bullying me or making fun of me or attacking me. I call that a win in my book.

Aunt Jenna picks me up after my first day and takes me to her store to show me how things are done. She shows me my office area and her office and where all the files are. Overall it’s not hard work. My aunts store looks almost like the wand shop on “Harry Potter” and I love it. The only difference is the check out section is against the wall next to the shelves lining the books. So no one will ever be behind whoever is working the counter.

“Seems simple enough Aunt Jenna. I really can’t thank you enough for all you have done for me. I really appreciate it.” I tell her sincerely. My aunt has no idea how much all this means. Giving me a roof and a job and helping me through everything.

“No problem dear. I’m just happy I’m able to help you. You don’t deserve to be treated the way that you were.”

“I know. I just hated being alone all the time. Dads always at the office working with that law firm and moms always at her office and I have no friends. This baby is a blessing. I know it will be hard with my age but I am getting really excited at the prospect of motherhood.” I tell her and I can tell she’s is getting excited too by the way her eyes light up.

“Well how about some ice cream on the way home? I know this great ice cream parlor that has amazing soft serve on waffle cones?” My aunt asks as she wiggles her perfectly manicured eye brows.

“Who would say no to ice cream? Plus I’m pregnant! Ice cream is the best news you could give me today!” I say excitedly. I mean who doesn’t love ice cream?

“Well let’s get to it then shall we”

After we get to the ice cream parlor and I see the many flavors I can’t decide what I want. My aunt gets a cup of butter pecan and praline ice cream. After I taste hers I decide to get the praline and chocolate moose tracks in a cup with sprinkles.

“How’s the morning sickness going?” Aunt Jenna asks as she takes a big bite of her ice cream.

“Ugh it’s horrible! Why is it called morning sickness if it lasts all day? And it picks the worst times to show up! I made strawberry banana pancakes last night for a midnight snack because on top of sickness the cravings have kicked in I took one bite and got sick.” I say with a frown. I really hate nausea.

“Is that why I smelled the floor cleaner this morning in the kitchen? I would have helped you clean up if you had gotten me. You probably need to be careful around cleaning chemicals. They can’t be safe for the baby.” Aunt Jenna now looks worried. But it was just a bit of cleaner. It can’t be that harmful can it? I mean plenty of mothers still clean their houses while pregnant.

“I’ll be more careful Aunt Jenna. I promise. I didn’t realize I can’t use certain chemicals.” I tell her about how apparently I can’t get on trampolines anymore and hot tubs should be avoided. After I told her about the string test and so she has me hand my class ring over and she tries it out and says according to old wives tales I will be having a girl. I don’t even care what my baby is as long as they are healthy that’s all that matters.

“Have you thought of names yet?” She asks me with a soft smile on her face. I can’t tell who is more excited about this pregnancy. Me or her.

“Yeah I was thinking Ellie Jane Blare for a girl and Eli John Blare for a boy.” I tell her as I rub my hand softly along my tummy. I know I am only about 4 weeks pregnant but I love this baby more then anything already.

“Well let’s head on home. I’m wiped out after today.”

“Sounds great Aunt Jenna. Thank you for the ice cream.”

“Psh girl please it gave me an excuse to get some myself.” She says laughing. I love my Aunt Jenna so much!

Later that night I call my mom to tell her about school and how I made a doctors appointment and that I chose names for the baby. She sounds excited over everything and told me to call her with updates and that she wouldn’t be able to make my first appointment with me. I am really bummed but at the same time my mom lives hours away. I know her coming to appointments probably won’t happen. But it was nice to hope it could for a while.

The next few weeks fly by and now it’s the day of my doctors appointment. I am so nervous and call me crazy but I swear I’m getting a small bump already and my pants no longer fit. I’m wearing a lot of leggings and yoga pants and sweat pants. Even my aunt noticed that I’m looking a little extra round in my tummy. My breasts are also sore all the time and are also growing. I gave up wearing regular bras and started wearing sports bras. My aunt said we will have to get regular bras because sports bras don’t have enough support. But I just love how comfy they are!

After getting dressed in my black and grey leggings and my black t-shirt I look at myself in the mirror and can’t help turning to the side. My belly is definitely growing even if just a little. I take a quick picture and send it to my mom. A second later she calls me.

“I can’t believe you have a bump already! Please tell me you are eating properly! If you don’t that weight will be really hard to come off after the baby is born.” Mom scolds me through the phone.

“Yes mom. I don’t know why I’m growing already. I can tell you that morning sickness sucks and that I really hate craving pickles and cream cheese in the middle of the night.” I tell her while I hear her laughing on the other end.

“Okay dear. We’ll finish getting ready for your appointment and if they do an ultrasound video me in. I wanna see my grand baby on the screen.” She says excitedly.

“I will mom. Love you”

After we hang up I throw my hair in a messy bun before I grab my purse and head downstairs. I find Aunt Jenna sitting in the living room watching some guy tell another man that he isn’t the father of some baby and hear a bunch of boos in the background.

“Hey Aunt Jenna I’m ready when you are.” I tell her as I step into the living room.

“Alrighty let’s hit the road and check on the bean!” My aunt says excitedly.

The drive there didn’t take long at all. Next thing I know is I am in a room filled with a bunch of other women who are in different stages of pregnancy. Some look ready to burst and others look barely pregnant. But one thing I noticed about all of them is that they all have men sitting next to them. I hate Adam for how he treated me. But I can’t help but wish he was here for our baby.

“Aunt Jenna I’m going to the bathroom real quick.” I tell her in case someone calls for me while I’m away.

As I head into the bathroom I can’t help the few tears that fall down my face. I pull out my phone and call Adam.

“What do you want?” He answers the call.

“Do you want me to keep you informed on the pregnancy or no? I just want to give you the option to know what’s going on.” I ask timidly.

“Might as well. Since I’ll be paying child support. Even if I don’t see my kid at least I did what I can.” He tells me evenly.

“I already said I want nothing from you. I don’t want child support or anything. And I am at the doctors now. My mom thinks I may get an ultrasound to see the baby. Do you want me to also send you a picture of that?”

“That’s fine and I don’t care if you want it or not. I’m not going to be a dead beat. No I didn’t want you to have my baby but I know I have that responsibility. Put it into an account for it if you want but I will be sending you money. Actually you should be getting a call from your moms lawyer any day now. I’ve already sent one check.”

“I’m not going to argue with you. I just wanted to give you another chance to know about your child. I’ll send you info and photos when I get done here.” I hang up the phone and walk out of the bathroom as my aunt comes looking for me.

“There you are. Come on your being called.”

I walk toward the nurse who hands me a cup to get a urine sample. After I do my business and wash my hands in the bathroom I hand her the cup as she takes me and my aunt into a room.

She checks my vitals and takes my height and has me get on a scale for my weight. When I see how much I weigh my eyes try bugging out of my head. I had gained almost ten pounds already! How had that happened?!

“Please take all your clothes off and put that gown on. The doctor will be in shortly. The nurse says and walks out closing the door behind her.

Aunt Jenna turns around to face away from me while I strip and sit on the table.

“Well this should be fun.” She says while looking around the room. I really hate doctors offices. I hate the sterile smell. My nose always burns after.

Not long later a knock is heard before a male doctor enter the room.

“I am doctor Evans pleased to meet you Ms.Blare. How are you feeling today?” He asks me with a kind smile as he sits on the stool.

“I feel okay. Mostly nauseated. But otherwise no problems.”

“Good good. We got your labs back from your other doctor and after I do a pelvic exam I’d like to get an ultrasound if that’s good with you?”

“Absolutely doc. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah everything is fine. Your hormone levels were a little high for only being a few weeks into your pregnancy. But nothing to worry about.”

After the pelvic exam he tells me to get dressed and someone would come get me then walks out. I get dressed quickly and sit in a chair next to my aunt and wait.

No sooner after I sit down is there another knock on the door.

“Ms.Blare if y’all would follow me please?” She asks while walking out of the room. We quickly follow after her into another room with an ultrasound machine.

“Lay down and pull your pants down just a bit on your bottom and lift your shirt”

I quickly do as I’m told. My heart is racing and my palms are sweaty. I’m so nervous. He said everything was fine but then why are my levels high?

“I’m going to put some gel on your belly it may be a little cold and take some measurements.”

“Aunt Jenna hurry video call mom.” I tell my aunt who quickly does what I tell her.

“Hey honey what’s going on?”

“We are getting an ultrasound. Shh.”

Next thing I know the lady has a wand thing and after looking around for a second she says she will be right back and walks out. Now I am freaking out. Two seconds later the doctor is walking in with the nurse behind him and starts moving the wand around my belly.

“Well what do we have here?” He asks amused as he is looking at the screen.

“Is something wrong doctor?” I ask

“Show me the screen Jenna!” Mom says through the phone. Aunt Jenna points the phone at the screen and then all I hear is mom shrieking. “Are you kidding me?!”

“Well Ms.Blare I just found out why your levels were so high. Here are your babies A and B. Your having twins. Congratulations!” He says with a smile. All I feel is panic!

“Are you sure doctor? There’s two of them? I mean two babies?” I ask hesitantly.

At this point Jenna hung up on mom and is videoing the screen. Next thing I hear is two different thumping sounds and it makes my heart speed up faster and makes it hard to breath.

“Two strong heartbeats. Your measuring to be about six weeks along. Your due date is July fifth. But know twins often come early.” Dr.Evans says. He hands me some napkins to clean my stomach off after printing out some pictures of the babies. They even have one that says hi mom and dad on it. I decide I will send a photo of that one to Adam when we leave.

After we get home I head to my room saying I just wanna lay down for a bit. Aunt Jenna understands that I am feeling overwhelmed and leaves me be for a bit. How am I going to handle two babies?! That’s double to diapers and wipes and obviously formula because no way am I going to be able to breast feed two babies. I may have to take Adams financial support after all.