memories past

Memories. Andrew was on the scooter headed to the park. The weather was nicer and warmer then the day before. He reached the river front at the park. He stops and just takes in the scenery.  Depression sucks. Especially when you are alone in life. When life has been particularly hard on you, and you have no one to talk to. You feel alone in the world. You take day by day with that despair haunting you. andrew being a bit beyond in years now, the depression takes on a life of its own. Andrew has lived by himself for himself for the last 48 years. Not caring what others thought of him, not caring if another living soul cared for him. Not caring if life takes a turn against him. All the pain and ego he had carried all these years, has finally taken a toll on him. Last week he went to the doctor, ran some tests, because he felt like something wasn’t right with him. It took for what Andrew thought was the longest he had ever waited for anything in his life. The mental s**t that was going on with him just waiting was just atrocious. When he finally heard from his doctor, it wasn’t the greatest of news to have.  He has cancer. And it had metastasized to his heart. He was given maybe three months to a year to live. Finding out, a large range of emotion had hit Andrew. Not being a religious man, he thanked the doctor and hung up. He sat with his thoughts for what had to be hours and hours before Andrew finally moved. This was the first time in a long time that he had bit hit like this. Emotionally he had no one to relay this information to. He had no one to comfort or comfort him. Now he had wished he had lived a better and more caring life. He wished his wife was still alive, he wish he would have had an heir. He wished he had made meaningful relationships with others. Now he craved people in a way he never thought he would ever. Andrew lived a life of ease. His ego carried him through when his wife died. Coped like that for as long as he could remember. Who would want him now? When all his life he has basically told everyone to f**k off. Craving other people he decided he would go to the park. He was strapped with a g*n. He didn’t know if he had the guts to actually use it or not. Maybe he would only kill himself. Maybe he would take as many people as he could before dying himself. Maybe he would shoot at an animal. Who knows what he thought. He wasn’t well, he had no one. Life hadn’t treated him right. And the memories were killing him.. literally….