His Corrupt Mafia Queen

Chapter 4: A Piece of Home

At my apartment, I took out my frustration on the wedding invitation I plastered on a dart board. I wasn’t only angry about what Sabrina remarked about me, I was reliving through the trauma I had to endure as a child. Things I hadn’t told anyone.

“Don’t touch me…”

“I don’t want to do this anymore..”

“Can I please have some food?”

“You’re hurting me..”

“Please stop..”

With tears blurring my vision, the knife I threw missed the target landing on the most outer ring. The knives were light in my hands but once thrown they could be the deadliest thing you encountered. Two more in each hand, I took a deep breath pushing down all the pain. The back of my hand cleared my eyes of the incoming tears. I’m not weak. Reducing my right hand to only one knife, my eyes narrowed on the target focusing on Sebastian’s name. I brought my hand back over my shoulder. I’m not a child.

Extending my arm out with an increasing speed to give the knife momentum. I watched it travel through the air, gaining speed with every second until it struck the dart board in the center, and dead in between Sebastian’s name. If only he knew me now, the girl he saw as weak and hiding in shame growing into a woman who swan dived into danger saving the lives of others while taking down men who abuse their power. Never will I be put in the position to be hurt again or used, I owe that to the little girl inside who suffered for years in the system without so much of a peep, I owe that to every kid who is trapped in a cycle of pain. The sound of the knives hitting the dart board was music to my ears, I took a dark pleasure in watching the rest of the knives penetrate the wedding invitation. Sebastian was the one job I never completed, and now the entire Ace family is out to get me.

Immediately drawn to it my hand slid up my chest until I stumbled across a jeweled necklace that was given to me. Flashes of me and Sebastian making love in front of the fireplace polluted my mind. Clenching the necklace in my palm, I recalled times that I wanted to forget with a man I hated. All the lies he told me were exposed by Francisco, how he called a fake gas leak at the hotel I was supposed to stay at three years ago in Boston, he just wanted me in his grasp. I felt like I slept with a monster, a stranger tricking me into thinking I knew him, all of him. In the process I gave him fragments of myself I’ll never get back, it makes me think if I’ll always be tied to Sebastian.

A few hours was the time I had alone in the apartment I shared with Francisco. Members of our organization shared an apartment complex in the country’s capital, Canberra. The apartment was small but quaint, gave us all of our basic necessities, it was furnished to look like Francisco’s apartment back in New York, I grew to love it in a short amount of time. After pulling away from my knife throwing, I stripped myself of any clothing and indulged in a warm bath washing away insults, death and unwanted memories. The bath didn’t last too long, I had a bad habit of staying in the bath for hours, I would even fall asleep in the calming waters. I threw on an oversized hoodie and left it at that, besides from wearing panties and a bralette, I don’t care much what I wear when I’m here

I was in bed with my sleeve rolled up revealing the tattoo on my inner forearm, probably the length of my middle finger, when I first got to Australia I went to a tattoo parlor and requested a tattoo of a New York skyline. Going up my forearm my fingers traced the miniature buildings, along with the Statue of Liberty, the Brooklyn bridge and the Empire State building were beautifully connected. Zeke, Sugar, Henna, and Cherry, it was a dedication to them. A day doesn’t go by where I don’t think about them, I wonder if they would’ve been proud of who I become or disappointed just like everyone else. 

The door to our bedroom opened and it was Francisco, I wanted to ask him what the other’s discussed after I left and what took him so long to get home, but there was a feeling of resentment towards him. Why didn’t he defend me when Sabrina was attacking me in front of everyone? I didn't need his protection but it would be nice to know that of all people, my boyfriend would be there for me. Taking a deep breath and pushing my emotions to the side I shuffled out of bed and pulled my sleeves down.

“What did you and the others talk about after I left?” Francisco closed the door behind him and leaned against it. There was something brewing in those brown eyes of his and I couldn’t read them. He brought his eyes over to the dart board where a butchered wedding invitation laid dormant. It wasn’t a good look, it indicated that I was angry about the wedding occurring, when it wasn’t that. I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for him to say something, anything. At last he pushed his body off the door and approached me.

“Do you love him?” His voice cracked with insecurity and the last thing I wanted to do was revisit the past with a man that ruined my relationship, but I did too play a hand. I moved across the bed and up to Francisco.

“What? No, I never-” I began but he scoffed cutting me off. How could he think such a thing? Disgusting honestly.  It was no use to try to convince him of something when his mind already made up about the topic at hand.

“Then why did you sleep with him?! You never told me why-” I already heard the disgust rise in his voice, I waved him away as I turned around pulling myself away from his judgment. 

“I never told you why because there wasn’t any reason, I made a mistake and I told you I was sorry. How many times do I need to beg for your forgiveness?!” I didn’t mean to raise my voice, I was tired of constantly arguing about the same thing. I pinched the bridge of my nose with annoyance and took deep breaths.

“Have you spoken to him since we left Italy?” He asked me, yet another question, it felt like an interrogation. There was no need to escalate the situation, he was hurting because of me.

“No, I don’t plan on speaking to him ever again or seeing him-” I approached Francisco once more with no animosity, the space between us closed, and I wanted nothing more to drop the topic of Sebastian.

“I know I hurt you, and I will never forgive myself for it. I just want you, I swear baby..I just want you..” My hands trailed up Francisco’s arms until I reached the sides of his neck. Francisco’s jaw tightened, he was reluctant to look at me but eventually his eyes finally met mine. Our foreheads pressed firmly together, his anger eased down, and he placed his hands on my waist. Francisco was insecure, I would be too if I found out he cheated on me. We were each other's homes, a piece of New York we would never get back.

Later, I was in bed scrolling through my phone, going over the details of my next mission, Francisco was in the bathroom readying himself to go to bed. We were supposed to leave for our missions tomorrow night, and I wouldn’t see him for the next two months. It wasn’t easy but we both came to terms that this was our new normal. Moments before retiring my phone for the night, I received a text from Carmine. She wanted to meet. Still holding a bit of hurt from earlier, I contemplated ignoring her, not even she spoke up in my defense. Reluctantly I turned off my phone, my eyes were glued to the ceiling for a second. Carmine was there for me, through my training and numerous breakdowns, she helped me heal, more than Francisco did.