The Carrier

chapter 10

Damon's POV

I can't help but let my thoughts wander while awaiting death and for this nightmare to end, I don't know how me and Aphrodite are going to get out of this but I just know that I have this urge to protect her at all costs, she doesn't realize this or hasn't brought it up either from fear or not truly knowing but I am a nightstalker as well, I am not as advanced as she is but I was one of the first ones to experiment what this virus could do to someone. I wish I had known back then what I know now and I never would have done what they told me to do and experimented with that damn virus, I lost everything that day and sadly day by day it seems like I am losing more of myself as time passes me by but I can't stop it, I can't forget, instead I am stuck in this nightmare with no one to turn to. I can't even tell Aphrodite or anyone that I was the one who created the virus! i was the one who messed up the batches! I am the cause of this God damn apocalypse! but if she were ever to find out she would never forgive me, she would hate me for eternity but what she doesn't realize is she plays a bigger role in this then what she thinks, she is the only one who can put and end to this damn nightmare, she has the cure in her veins. But the problem is, she has to figure this out on her own but we don't have much time before it is to late! I want to tell her that she's the key to the end of the apocalypse but how can I do that without revealing my secret? I CAN'T!. I pull at my hear weakly, not having much energy as I feel the blood loss starting to effect me, I am trying to hold on, knowing this isn't the end of my journey, but how can I possibly hold on much longer? No one deserves this, no one deserves what we created, but what can I do now? All that can be done is to grow that trust between me and Aphrodite and slowly drops hints as time goes on, but without getting in the way of her destiny, this is how it was all supposed to play out. I was so deep in thought that I didn't hear Aphrodite approach me, but I can see her outline and hear her feightnly, I make out her saying something about a makeshift hospital room down here but its hard to hear anything at this point, its like trying to listen to someone talk in a wind tunnel but instead of wind its the rush of my blood and my heartbeat in my eardrums. I feel her lift me up and help walk me towards the end of the tunnel where I can make out a faint light, which means she found the room we had set up, just in case one of us may need it and made sure it was stocked before the apocalypse was full blown, the light is blinding to me, so I close my eyes against it which helps for the most part but it still bothers my sensitive eyes, I feel Aphrodite place me on the table that is set up at the far end of the room and bask in the coolness of the table against my clammy hot skin, I put my arm over my eyes to help block out more of the light and let out an exhausted shudder of a exhale and listen to my companion moving around the room gathering everything she thinks she need. I don't say anything because she needs to learn that being a night stalker we heal quicker then a human, and by now the wound I ended up with is closing on its own, but the hunger on the other hand is getting the best of me. I practice meditative breathing and inhale slowly, hold it and then exhale slowly, i can feel her come towards me and shakily pulls up my shirt to evaluate the wound on my rib cage, and i hear her take in a sharp breath of surprise at how my wound looks, I try not to laugh at her surprise or what could possibly be running through her mind. I hear the clatter of everything she gathered fall to the floor and her whispering to herself how this is even possible? I am human aren't I? I continue to lay here debating on whether I want to intervene or not and decide on the latter, she needs to put the puzzle pieces together herself and come to the realization on her own, otherwise everything will be all for nothing. In the midst of my thoughts I hear her pick everything up and leave the room, before I can even register whats going on I am in a meditative sleep, I let my thoughts wander while I try to rest and heal myself further and contemplate what are my next moves going to be, but before I can ponder on those thoughts my mind wanders to the everything from the beginning to how I got here, its a sad and very dark place and thats the last place I want to let my mind wander to, but unfortunately it seems like my mind would rather torture me instead and i can feel the sadness, the anger, the despair seeping into the forefront of my mind and i can't seem to control it no matter how hard I try, a lone tear slides down my face and I clutch at my chest where a gaping hole now lies. I never knew that when I had become a scientist for the government that it would lead me down such a horrible, nightmarish path like it has, I never knew that I would lose everyone to this damned disease they wanted me to help create, but worse yet I never knew that I would be the one to kill the ones I loved. A small boys face with ash blonde hair and the greenest eye's flashes in my mind and I choke back a sob for fear of her hearing me and rushing in, he was only twelve, I didn't know it was going to come down to this, then a woman's face flashes in front of my eyes with the redest curls, an a face of a loving mother. Before I know it their faces change into those things that I helped create, the fear running through me, the tremors and the tears that felt like they would never stop, and God the horror of what I had done and knowing I am a murderer, I helped create that stupid experiment and I was the one who had to kill my own family because of what I did. Aphrodite can never find out what I did, or everything will be for nothing and there will never be a cure