Lost

Insight

                    After we’re done eating, Ash puts our plates in the sink while I grab the books and slide them closer, trying to decide which one to start with. Sitting down next to me, his leg brushes against mine, sending a shiver up my spine.

                    “I think you should start with this one.” He grabs the book in the middle, bound with a beautiful blue cloth. It’s age is obvious by the deterioration in certain areas, like the spine and the corners. There’s no author on the book, just the title “Royal Lineage: Magic Blood” in faded gold lettering.

                    Handing me the book, I carefully open it, starting on the first page. Ash grabs another book off the table to read, and we both sit in silence for quite a while.

                      I’m writing this book as a way to keep this information safe for the generations to come.                                          I don’t know what the future holds, but in my soul I know someone will need this.                                                                                 – Jasmine Midnight.

                    Jasmine Midnight? Am I descended from her, I’d have to be, right? There’s no other Midnight line.

                    Was there before?

                    Great, now I have more questions. I’ll have to ask Ash later if he knows anything or if we can find a book about our ancestors and family trees.

                       Royal Shifters have been around since the beginning, in the original three thousand shifters,                 there were little more than five hundred Royals. Originally, Royals were the only alphas. There                                                   were five hundred packs, each spread out in their own territory.

                    The Royal Alphas would meet once per year to create the laws we live by today, so no matter                     what happened, even if the Royals died out, we would still have guidelines to keep us at peace.

                            The Royals discouraged fighting amongst our brothers and sisters, encouraging honesty,                 fairness, respect, and peace. They seldom used violence to solve something. The first war wasn’t                                                                                         for five hundred years.

            Every shifter, once they first shift, has enhanced senses, speed, strength, and the ability to heal                     much faster compared to humans. Royals, however, have even stronger senses, speed, and                                     physical strength, along with the ability to heal faster and control magic.

                  Over time, peace began to fade. Shifters began to resent vampires, vampires resented shifters.                                     Witches chose sides, some helping vampires, others helping shifters.

                Royals tried to maintain the peace, but when Annaliese Storm, the young daughter of the Royal                     Shifters, Serafina and Elliot Storm, was murdered by vampires before she was even halfway to                                                         her first shift peace was not an option most wanted.

                            The Great War lasted hundreds of years, killing countless shifters and vampires alike.                 Many Royals died before ever finding a mate and having a child, ending their line. Eventually the                 war ended when Victoria Midnight fell in love with a vampire. The Midnight line has been one of           the three strongest Royal lines since the beginning, and when Victoria and her lover, Raith, mated and         became pregnant, the Midnight’s and their pack, Moon Spirit Pack, chose peace. Raith Emrick was an         Elder in his clan, his mother and father both Masters of their clan. Because his mother and father lead                 their clan and their clan was the biggest in North and South America, the other clans chose to                                                                 follow their lead in retreating from the war.

        Victoria Midnight’s sister, Vanessa Midnight, was the Alpha of the Moon Spirit Pack and stood by her       sister. Vanessa was sympathetic toward her sister, she had recently lost her mate and the father of her      children in this war and wanted it to stop. Although some of the other alphas were not happy about the      interspecies mating, they all agreed to stop the war. By this time, some of the alphas of the other packs        were not Royals, if a Royal died before mating and having children, the pack would choose who they            wanted their alpha to be, out of the remaining alphas in the pack. Some alphas went rogue, finding it      difficult to bend their knee to another alpha that’s not a Royal, seeing them as their equal. Instinctually it          is very difficult for an alpha to submit to another, even a Royal, but it’s easier to submit to a Royal                                            than another normal alpha since Royals were the very first alphas.

                                                    ----------------- MAGIC OF ROYALS--------------

                The most common abilities Royals will have is the ability to control one or more elements. Most              have this ability and more. Over the generations it’s gets less and less rare for a Royal to only have               this ability, though. The more the Royal line is mixed with regular shifter blood, the more diluted                                                       and weak it gets, giving the Royal less magical ability.

        For this reason Royals are more likely to mate with other Royals, but there’s no consequence if they            don’t. It’s encouraged for someone, if they find their Fated Mate, to choose them. With that, some           lines have become even stronger. Some Royals have found their Fated Mate in another species, be it                         witch or vampire. I’ll explain more about Fated Mates later, but for now, magic.

            Other abilities Royals could have are visions, reading thoughts, being able to see the dead, move                     things with one’s mind, cause other’s pain through mental envisioning, healing others, and                                                                communicating with the Moon Goddess.

Throughout the generations, it’s become more rare for Royals to have more than one ability, with only the     strongest being able to communicate with the Moon Goddess. As the blood dilutes, so does the magic.

 As I am writing this, Royals have already started to become weaker with magic. Though True Royals, the                                         offspring of two Royals, have a stronger connection to magic.

        Many Royals and True Royals will need the help of a witch to control their magic. As more and more                                            Royals die, the less there are to teach the next generation.

            Over time, some of the abilities have become rare, such as causing others pain through mental                 envisioning, reading others’ minds, being able to see the dead, and having visions of the past.                                          Many underestimate the importance of seeing the past and how greatly                                                                     that knowledge can affect the future.

                  -------------SPECIAL ABILITIES OF THE MIDNIGHT/EMRICK FAMILY------------

                   When Victoria mated with Raith, new magic was introduced to the Midnight bloodline,                                             making them the strongest of all Royal Shifters.                                                Because Raith Emrick was an Elder in his clan and his clan was one of the strongest of the Original                                 Vampires, he had special abilities that other vampire Elders didn’t have as                                                                                                 well.

                                        The Emrick bloodline is the only vampire line to have wings.

Victoria and Raith had four children, when they turned twenty and went through their first shift, one of                                                 them, Abigail, had something only her father had.

                                                                  In her human form, she had wings.                                                                                Covered in black feathers and as big as she was tall, the wings would                                                                  shift out of her back, almost like when she’d shift into her wolf form.

                    The bones of her wings stay hidden inside her back, when she’d shift her wings out,                             the bones would contort and rearrange into the proper shape, growing skin                                                                             and feathers every time.

        Abigail kept a journal, where she wrote down everything. Here is an entry that might be useful:

  “Today marks the third week my father and I will practice shifting my wings, it’s getting easier but it still      hurts. At first it took so long for them to fully form, over an hour of laying on the ground in agony as the           bones broke and rearranged into the proper shape, the skin growing over them and the feathers         covering them. I felt like I was going to die, so I’m happy it’s not that bad anymore. But it still hurts. Father tries to make a game out of it to cheer me up, he times me to see how fast they’ll shift out and be       fully formed. Yesterday it only took ten minutes, which is my personal record. But father won’t let us         skip a single day until it takes less than one minute and I can focus on hand to hand combat while                                         they’re forming. I don’t think that’ll ever happen if I’m honest.

       Being the only one out of my brothers and sister to have wings kind of makes me feel like I’m weird.         Like I’m not a wolf shifter. I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel left out. I think they’re angry I’m the    only one with wings and father spends most of our days with me, teaching and training me how to fight                                                         with them. I’d gladly give them away if I could.”

        Only one in twenty of Victoria and Raith’s children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, etc. have had                                             wings. Over the generations it’s become extremely rare.

                       However, most of their descendants have had the ability to mesmerize others, and some                                                                                      had vampire fangs.

    Though they didn’t need blood to stay alive, they could gain extra strength and stamina by drinking it.     No matter how injured they may be, with their natural healing and the healing blood drinking brought, it                                             was extremely difficult if not impossible to kill them.

                    My eyes are burning, I need to take a break.

                    Placing the book on the table, I stand up and stretch. When Ash fallen asleep in his book, a warmth fills my chest. Carefully taking his book, I place it on the table before rubbing his back to gently wake him up. Yawning, he slowly lifts his head until we’re facing each other. I hadn’t realized how close I was to him until he looked up and we were nose to nose. For a moment, my mind goes blank, I don’t know what to say, I can’t even form a coherent thought. All I can do is look back and forth between his eyes and lips.

                    Clearing my throat, I take a small step backwards, hoping the space between us will make it easier for me to think. But now I just miss his warmth that radiated outward, enveloping me like a hug.

                    “I-uh, I thought you’d rather sleep in your bed.” Stuttering, my cheeks and the tips of my ears start to burn and I thank the Moon Goddess it’s dark enough in the kitchen he can’t see.

                    “Oh, yeah. Thanks,” smiling as he stands up, he stretches out his arms and back. His shirt rides up, exposing his flawlessly defined abdomen and it takes a lot more restraint than I’d like to admit to keep myself from staring. When his scent fills my senses, I almost moan, causing me to turn even more red, even though I’m the only one who knows.

                    He smells like rain on a hot summer night, the crisp scent of wind on a snow covered mountain, and the smallest hint of honeysuckle.

                    Instinctively, my tongue wets my lips before my bottom lip is sucked behind my front teeth. When I realize I’m biting my lip, embarrassment fills me and I turn away.

                    “I’m gonna go to bed,” I tell him as I start walking out the kitchen. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

                    “Did you find anything interesting in your book?” he asks, right beside me in less than a second.

                    “Y-yeah, I did,” I reply automatically, startled by how quickly he got so close to me. “I actually found a few things I want to look further into. You?”

                    “A lot of what I read was useless but I found some interesting information right before,” in the middle of talking, a giant yawn interrupts him, causing me to yawn, too. We both end up quietly laughing at each other.

                    “sorry about that. I found some interesting stuff before I fell asleep. Wanna get ice cream tomorrow and talk about what we found then?”

                    “Yeah, that’d be great,” I tell him as we get to our doors. Turning to face him, I  give him a quick hug before opening my door. “goodnight, Ash. Thank you again, for helping me with this.”

                    “No problem, good night Bailey.”

---------

                    Waking up at four in the morning to Ash knocking on my door was dreadful, but I asked him to train me in hand to hand fighting and he agreed. For a few hours we went back and forth between him showing me different stances and techniques and me working on them, he’d adjust and correct my form and toward the end we sparred.

                    When training was done, we each took a shower and I decide to read my father’s journal while Ash goes to a pack meeting. After his pack meeting, he said we’d go out for ice cream and talk about what we read last night. I don’t know how long the meeting will be, and apparently neither does he, so he said he’d text me when he’s on his way back here.

                    Grabbing a few pillows, I lay them down on the window seat and get comfortable with my father’s journal. As the journal opens, a small square photo falls out from between some pages. Turning it over, my mother’s eyes are staring back at me, bringing tears to my own. She looks so young, so happy, sitting in a wooden swing that’s hanging from a tree.

                    That’s the swing that was in our back yard, I remember playing on that swing and the tree. Dad used to push me while I sat there when I was little…

                    As my mother smiles right at me, my eyes search the entire picture, a need deep inside me to memorize everything about her. Then I see it.

                    She’s pregnant. Her hand is splayed across her swollen belly, like she’s both trying to protect it at all cost and feel every moment my life thrives inside her.

                    I wonder if I was kicking, or moving at all. How big was I? How far along was she?

                    The sparkle in her eye tells so much about her, even though I didn’t know her then, I know what she felt. Love, happiness, peace, excitement, joy. In this moment, she is truly, genuinely happy. The love she has for my father and me in this photo is evident.

                    No wonder he kept this photo safe inside his journal.

                    Placing the photo onto the windowsill next to me, I carefully turn the pages until I find his first entry.

                        My Mating Ceremony last year was the happiest moment of my life. That is, until my         beautiful mate, Leilani told me she was pregnant. Our first child. I can’t wait to see their face. I know   most alphas pray to the Moon Goddess for a boy, but I couldn’t care less. If I have a son, great. If I have a                         daughter, wonderful. I know my daughter – our daughter would be an amazing leader.

    I can’t wait until Leilani and I can teach our child about their amazing lineage and how special they are,                                             how to use their gifts for the better of our kind and for peace.

One of the most important lessons I learned growing up is that no matter what the cause, it’s never easy     to take a life. Although it might be necessary, it won’t be easy. I want to teach them how to determine           when it’s necessary to fight, to kill, and when it’s not. How to deal with what comes after the fight.

                    There’s so many lessons I look forward to showing my child, so they can be the strongest and                                                     bravest and smartest they could ever possibly be.

                    Trying my best to blink the tears away, I flip through the pages until something catches my eye. It takes me a second to recognize it, but when I do my heart fills and breaks all at once. To anyone else, it would look like a page full of random symbols and squiggly lines in the back of the journal, gibberish, maybe a child got hold of it and scribbled. But it’s not. It’s my and my father’s ‘secret language’ that we would use when I was little.

                    Focusing on each symbol and letter, I try my best to recognize what it says. It only takes a few moments for memories to flood my mind, exciting me and killing me simultaneously.

                            Bailey, my dear girl. If you’re reading my journal, it must mean I’m not around anymore.                                                 I’m so sorry for that, I would never leave you if I had a choice.

               Your mother and I wanted to write these letters to you in case something ever happens to us                            so you know how much we love you and you have something to keep with you, always.

        You were your mother’s and my whole world. We would do anything for you. You were the best thing                                                                         that ever happened to us, Bailey.

    There is a lot about you that is special, whether you realize it or not. Unfortunately, many people don’t                                     appreciate the things that makes others’ special, they envy them.

    I always want to be around to protect you from the world, but if you’re reading this, I’m not. All I can do                         is give you the information you’ll need to protect yourself. Well, as much of it as I have.

            You always tell me that I know everything, and while I do know a lot, I’m afraid I don’t know nearly                                     enough. But I’ll give you the information and knowledge that I can.

       You’re a True Royal, Bailey. By the time I’m gone, I’d hope you already know but I won’t take that risk.

 You’re strong, Bailey. Powerful. You come from the two strongest Royal bloodlines, Midnight and Storm.                                                     You may very well be the last of both bloodlines.

Over the years, many shifters have gotten jealous of the power Royals have. The less of us there are, the     more shifters feel comfortable expressing their issues with us. Some have even created and executed                                                             carefully crafted plans to kill Royals.

    Your mother and I have created a special place just for you, where we’ve hidden things that might help             you find yourself if we’re no longer with you. On your twentieth birthday, if we’re still with you, your                                             mother and I would have shown you your special place.

I pray to the Moon Goddess we were able to show you, just the thought of losing you, or you losing us… it kills me. It’s the most painful thing I could ever go through. I’m not afraid of dying, baby girl, I’m afraid of                                             not being there for you. Of you feeling alone, sad, lost.

            If we’re gone before we could show you your special place, your mother will guide you there.

                                    Trust in yourself, Bailey. You’re stronger than any of them know.

    No matter what happens, Bailey Morgana Midnight, I want you to know – I want you to feel, with all of      your heart – that your mother and I love you with every fiber of our being. That we will always be proud                             of you, we will always be watching over you, even if you can’t see us.

                            You are our perfect little girl, and we are honored to be your parents.

                                                                                    Love, Papa.

                    By the time I’ve finished reading the secret letter, it was covered in tears, some of the ink smeared like it had been outside in the rain. Curled in a ball, I hold the letter to my chest and just let it all out.

                    I’ve always wanted to talk to my parents one last time and never thought it was possible, but this… this is it. This is what I needed. ‘your mother and I love you with every fiber of our being, we will always be proud of you, we’ll always watch over you, you’re our perfect little girl, we’ve created a secret place –

                    Jumping into a sitting position, I scan the letter again to find what I’m looking for. Getting to my feet, I run to the closet where I put the box full of my parent’s stuff and dig for my mother’s journal. Sitting on the closet floor, skimming through all of the pages, I don’t find any letters written in our secret language. Filled with disappointment, I stay sat on the floor, just staring at all of my parent’s things strewn across the floor.

                    I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here when I hear a knock on my door, before I could even answer, Ash comes inside.

                    “Hey, you okay, Bailey?” he sounds concerned as he walks over to me, kneeling next to me. It takes me a moment to even process what he asked, being so focused on trying to figure out what to do or where to look, if my mother even wrote a letter.

                    “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a lot on my mind.” My reply comes out automatically, I didn’t even realize I had replied until I was finished, like I’m on autopilot.

                    “What’s wrong, Bailey?” he sits next to me on the floor, taking my hand in his.

                    “I found a letter from my dad today,” I motion to all my parent’s stuff on the floor. “in his journal. A letter only for me, written in our secret language.” A little chuckle escapes me, remembering how my father and I came up with the language.

                    “That’s great, but why do you look so upset?”

                    “He said they made a special place for me, in case they… were gone,” taking a moment, I breathe in deeply, focusing on Ash’s hand holding mine. “he said my mother would tell me where it is in her letter, but there isn’t one. Not in her journal or the entire box.” The disappointment and dejection obvious in my voice and tears. Ash is the only person I feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable like this with, even if things are complicated with me right now.

                    Pulling me closer to him, he slides me into his lap effortlessly, his arms wrap around my shoulders and waist, and he just holds me as my head rests on his chest, covering his shirt in tears while I grip the necklace my mother gave me tightly in my hand, remembering the day she gave it to me.

                    Please, Goddess, show me where to find my mother’s letter. There has to be a letter from my mother, my father said there was! Please, I need to find it. I need to see what she said, I need… I need my mom. This is all I have left of her. Please Moon Goddess, help me. Guide me. Show me where it is.  

                    As I ugly cry all over Ash, he just holds me tight against his chest and whispers reassuring, sweet words into my ear. Praying – more like screaming – to the Moon Goddess for guidance, just before I repeat my prayer, the necklace burns in my hands and behind my eyes a white light flashes. Three images appear in my mind withing milliseconds of each other, the white light flashing before and after each image, my mother’s journal with the cover ripped, a temple, and… my parents…

                    Yelping in pain from the necklace burning my hand, I jump in Ash’s lap, scaring us both.

                    “Are you okay, what’s wrong?” turning me to face him, he gently holds my waist in one hand and my arm in the other. His eyes roam all over me, trying to find where’s in pain.

                    “I’m fine… I think.”

                    “What happened, what hurt you?”

                    “My… my necklace. It burned my hand. I – I don’t know what happened. I think – “ Trailing off, I lose the confidence to say what I think happened, scared I’ll sound crazy.

                    “Bailey,” he grips my chin with his thumb and forefinger, gently lifting my head to face him. “what happened? You know you can trust me… right?”

                    Placing my hand over his, I release his grip on my chin, sliding my hand over his until our fingers are entwined, laying in my lap.

                    “I know, I know I can trust you. I just… I think the Moon Goddess spoke back to me…”

                    “What do you mean?”

                    He looks confused, but he’s not looking at me like I’m crazy, so that’s a plus.

                    “I – I don’t know. I was begging her to show me where my mother’s letter is and… my necklace, as I was holding it, it got incredibly hot, burning my hand. And three images flashed through my mind, but I don’t know what they all meant, all I know is I saw my mother’s journal with the cover ripped. So… it has to be hidden in the cover, right?”

                    Not waiting for him to answer, because he knows just as much as I do about what just happened, and that’s nothing. So I just go for it. Grabbing my mother’s journal from the floor a few feet away, I sniffle and rub the tears from my face one last time before fully focusing on this.

                    Looking over to Ash, I don’t even have to ask before he reaches into his pocket and hands me a knife to cut the cover with.

                    With a slit in each side of the cover, I slide my fingers around underneath, trying to find her letter. Praying that I’m not going crazy and I’m not going to be let down.

                    Underneath the cover on the front is empty, the pit in my stomach feels like it’s slowly swallowing me whole, smashing each little tiny shard of my heart into dust every step of the way. Feeling around underneath the back cover, my fingers come up empty and all of my hope deflates, tears well up again. But then the tip of my middle finger just barely brushes against something and I end up ripping the cover apart to see what it is.

                    A piece of paper falls into my lap, folded in half with just one thing written on the top.

                                                                                            Bailey

                    Tears quietly stream down my face while I stare at the handwriting of the woman I’ve missed every day for the last eleven years. Ash’s hand gently rubs circles around my back, giving me space to have this moment while still being here and comforting me.

                    When I finally gather myself enough to open it, I slide back into Ash’s lap. Leaning against his chest, his arms wrap around my waist and his chin rests on my shoulder while I hold the letter open for both of us to read. I need him to share this moment with me, the more I’ve been here the more I’ve learned how much I needed to be able to depend on someone sometimes. For me, he’s that someone. Sometimes I just need him.

                                                                            My darling daughter,

    If you’re reading this, you’ve already read your father’s letter and I’m so sorry we’re not there with you.

        We’ve known the dangers and risks associated with being Royals all our lives, a lot of things have changed since the beginning. Many don’t look at Royals with respect anymore, but envy. Envy can cause                                                                     some to do horrible things.

                        I don’t know what took us away from you, or who, but we’ll never truly be gone.

                        We’ll be with you forever, in your heart, in your soul, forever watching over you.

Your father and I created you a special, secret place that will hold everything we could think of that you                                                                          might need with us gone.

                                                Come home, where we’d always swing together.

                                                                        Your necklace is key.