Healer For Alpha

Noticiable

{ Lunanci }

I'm lying in bed at eight o'clock at night ready to sleep because I have nothing else to do and because I have a horrible migraine that hasn't left me alone for a couple of days now, next to Alex's anxious energy that is making everything worse, when someone knocks on the door.

Alex groans and is about to stand up to open it but the door opens before that and Aaron walks in, looking weird and still in uniform.

"What's wrong?"

"Uhh... Lucinda Taffy's here for you," Aaron says. Alex doesn't even respond, he stays on the bed paralyzed with fear, "She's in the living room. She asked to speak to her son Alex so I think she knows all about your lie. Trust me, she's not happy at all."

Alex gulps and turns to look at the window, I don't even have to ask him to know he's thinking about escaping.

"Did you already tell her I'm here?"

"She didn't ask, she knows you're here. She ordered me to come get you. She's my boss, dude.... Or, she will be. I'm sorry, but I can't tell her no or lie for you."

I swallow and curl up into a ball under the covers. This is about to be a nuclear bomb going off. Rio finally decided to tell the truth. We've all been waiting for this moment and it finally came.

And now their scary mom is here. That's why I'm staying right here until she leaves.

"I really don't want to go out to-" Alex is interrupted by the door opening again.

"I was getting him for you," Aaron says in a very respectful voice and my body stiffens. She's here. In my room.

But at least I was smart enough to hide.

"Thank you, Jones. You can go now," she says. Her voice is deep and commanding, female but undeniably full of alpha power. Alex is shaking so hard the whole bed is vibrating... or maybe it’s both of us, "Hello, son. Long time no see... although, well, I've seen you, I was just under the impression that you were someone else."

"Mommy, I can explain," Alex begins, sounding like a scared little boy, "You know I wanted this so badly..."

"So badly that you lied to everyone? That you made Laurie and Rio lie for you, that you put yourself at risk and that you've committed designation fraud and identity theft?"

"Yes," he answers in a whisper, "Am I being arrested?"

"I should f*****g arrest you," she says. But she won't, right? "The rules are there for a reason and if you were anyone else you'd be getting convicted right now."

But he's not anyone else, he's the boss's son. And his family are all important people. These kids are so damn privileged and lucky, I almost hate them.

"But it's not that bad," Alex tries to defend himself, “I-“

"At this point in your freshman year you've already been hazed, most likely. You've been naked in the showers with your classmates. You've been in combat training..."

"And so far no one has noticed that I don't belong there," he interrupts her.

"That's not the f*****g point, Alejandro!" Lucinda roars and I feel my stomach clench, her voice feels closer now so I squeeze even tighter into my little ball of safety. I've never heard anyone call him by his full name before, I think he's in real trouble, "The academy is simply no place for an omega, I don't care how tough you think you are. You're putting yourself at unbelievable risk. No one there knows they're dealing with an omega, someone who's under inhibitors, at that. You're even more vulnerable that way."

"They're not regular inhibitors, Mom. They're military inhibitors, they just lower my scent and that's it, they don't shut my wolf down completely... only mildly," he answers but I know that's not true. His wolf is completely gone inside his mind.

"Oh, how great. So now, on top of everything else, you've also been doing illegal drugs, you're really the pride of the family, Alex," his mother says, sarcastically.

"God!" he snaps, "You never listen to what I have to say! I'm strong. I'm doing everything right. I'm as good as any alpha and I can do anything I damn well please!"

"No, you can't. The facts are that you're not as physically strong as an alpha. You're not as fast. You're not as durable. You're falling behind in every practical class and you know it. I know it too. I've known it all along, I've been keeping my eye on you. I thought it was because 'Rio' isn't interested in putting in the work and was trying to fail on purpose, but now I know it's because you're not him. You're a young omega on inhibitors and I'm so f*****g mad I don't even care about making you feel better right now. I don't give a s**t about your sad little face," she spits angrily, "Not only are you the weakest link, but you're a risk to everyone out there. Even grade A inhibitors aren't enough to work forever. You build immunity at some point so you have to up the dose. So what happens if you don't up the dose because you're a dumb f*****g kid who doesn't know he has to do that and there's an immature alpha close to his rut near you? What if he sees you naked in the showers and fails to restrain his instincts?"

"I'd kick his ass," Alex answers in a shaky voice.

"You wouldn't be able to do that, dumbass," she fights, without even flinching, "And what was even your long term plan, huh? In second semester the wolf training starts, so what would you do then? No inhibitors are allowed. Would you skip every class? Okay, let's say you could. So now, let’s pretend that every single one of your teachers are stupid and in four years they never realize that your personal scent is non-existent... what's the next step, to graduate? I don't think so, you need good grades for that, but let’s pretend you have them. Do you think you would ever get a job in security? Where Daniel and I would have to check and test you? And you think we'd give you the job because... what?"

"I would find a way. Every time, I would find a way," Alex answers. I know he's already crying, "If I have to bribe someone, I will. If I have to commit more fraud, I will. If I have to cheat, I will. I don't care if I'm weaker than everyone there, I'm smarter too. I'll keep training and get stronger. I will get other drugs. Enhancers. Steroids. And I don't care if it's wrong or stupid, I want to be an alpha! I hate my body and I hate my wolf and I hate everyone for not having my back!"

"We all want what's best for you, even if it hurts you. Life sucks for everyone, not just you. Self-pity and delusion will get you nowhere. You are not an alpha and never will be. But you’re also not a regular omega. I respect that, we can find another..."

"No, you don't respect that! You want me to be a pretty, useless doll like my dad!" He screams. The energy shifts then and I can only shake my head under the covers. Even without seeing what’s going on, I know Lucinda is completely pissed off at that comment. No one likes any omega to be disrespected, even if it's coming from another omega.

"Your dad is so brilliant that he retired at thirty," she replies, her voice is even deeper now, "He created a lot of tech s**t that helped this and many other clans around the world. He's done more for our people than every security alpha put together. He is someone you should look up to because he’s so amazing that he has earned the privilege of just being a pretty doll all he wants. You cannot be disrespectful just because you're frustrated with yourself. Instead of using all that brainpower to create this circus, you should’ve considered other ways to feel important, as yourself. There are plenty."

"As if," Alex mutters.

"I'm not here to kiss you and make you feel better, Alex. I tried to do that and it didn’t work. I tried to give you freedom and time to find what you want to make of your life and it also didn’t work. Now I'm just angry. You won't be able to continue with your classes at the academy. You're blacklisted. Laurie is not enough authority to help you. And I'm going to spend all of my time from now on making sure I personally ruin your plans. I'm going to blacklist you from every clan and small pack I can contact. Be mad at me, I don't care. I'll keep protecting you even if you stay angry forever. I have plenty of experience dealing with little shits like you."

Her voice sounds completely final, no room for questions.

"I'll hate you."

"Okay? So? How is that any different to right now? You're going to keep yourself even further away from us? Ignore us even harder? Be even more rude and ungrateful? Fine. Go on with your life. Keep pumping inhibitors into yourself every day until you're addicted and even weaker than you are right now."

"You know I will," Alex replies in a small voice but still unable to submit.

"Yes, I know. That's why I won't tell your father any of this. I'll let him keep thinking that his dear son is finding his peace in a human city. The last thing I want is for him to worry about you... and whatever it is you want to become," Lucinda finally says, with a defeated sigh, "I love you and will love you forever, even if I never see you again."

She leaves then, closing the door behind her softly. This was maybe not as bad as I thought.

I let out the air and am about to leave when I hear a loud sob from Alex and then he loses his s**t.

I hear loud banging, growling and crying, so I decide to let him release his pain and stay here for a little longer.

➿➿➿➿➿

We're having a sad sleepover, Alex and I.

We both woke up early after he cried all night long without letting me even touch him or talk, in fact he forced me to pretend I didn't exist until I slowly fell asleep.

Now it's early in the morning and we woke up but we decided to stay in bed because we both have nothing to do.

I don't know what to say and I don't even want to move because I'm afraid he's going to break down again.

Still, I hate feeling useless and I desperately want to make him feel better.

"For what it's worth... at least you're way stronger than me," I let out, Alex turns to me for the first time since he forced me to pretend I don't exist. His eyes are puffy and he looks so much younger like this. It breaks my heart that he looks so sad but to be honest, I'm on his mom's side, "You're also the most ambitious and driven person I've ever seen. I'm sure you'll come up with something. You have it in you."

"But I'll never get what I really want. It's impossible."

"Becoming an alpha? Well, yes, that's impossible. But there are other options out there. You just have to let go of your delusions."

"You sound like my mom," he grumbles.

"I could never be that scary. But she had a couple of good points. And she cares about you, she loves you fiercely," I say, though it doesn't look like he cares much about that at the moment, "My adoptive parents, for example, have always been good to me but their love has always been passive, they don't care much about what I do or what happens to me, they always gave me complete freedom to do anything. And maybe it sounds fun for someone like you, but it's not. It's lonely and sad. I've always wanted someone to love me like that, to take care of me and protect me, even if it means I can't always do what I want."

"I know that logically, I just don't like it right now," he whispers, "I know she's right about everything she said and that's what hurts the most. Although I rarely enjoyed a bit how she yelled at me like she did before, before my presentation."

I nod slowly, letting him continue now that he seems reasonable.

"I'm failing every class because I'm not good enough and I get picked on... a little too much. I don't like it. And then Laurie comes in and makes everything worse. He acts like my watchdog. And everyone makes fun of me even harder because what the hell is he doing, defending his ‘alpha cousin’ so much? He's so big, he makes me look like a little stick next to him. He took every beating on combat day like it was nothing while I got knocked out on the first try. Then he always excels at every physical thing because he's just so perfect. And so unbothered about it. It's only natural for him to jump a million feet in the air or run like he has a rocket up his ass and then shrug his shoulders like, 'What, it's hard?' Because for him it's not. And I hate that."

"Laurie has his own fate. Being a strong alpha is his destiny and with that I'm sure a lot of hardship will come. You have your own destiny, you just have to stop comparing yourself to others and find it."

"But what if my destiny is lame?"

"Then you make the best out of being lame, Alex. And we'd be in the same boat, just lamely living life."

That finally makes him chuckle a little.

"I don't think it's that easy, but it's not like I can do anything about it."

"Exactly," I nod, "Anyway, you have a drug dealer, right?"

"Yes… why?”

"Can we get some weed?"

"Yeah."