Healer For Alpha

Finally With You

"So... what's it like to actually have a bond with someone?" I ask my favorite twin, stubbing out the butt of the joint on the ground beside me and relaxing next to him.

"It's not as fun as you think. You see, it’s not even real love," Alex replies, "Everyone romanticizes bonds so much, especially my dad. But if you really think about it, it's so dark and twisted."

"How so?" I ask with a frown.

"You become obsessed with this person against your will. You don't decide anything that happens because your wolf just decides for you and pushes you to do only what he wants. You have no say. Like, I don't like men but now I will have to be with this guy sooner or later and why? Because some entity decided that's the way it has to be? She just decided that we belong together and I'm the loser who has to submit? I have to let him do whatever he wants to me, be his property and his househusband and give birth to his damn kids and what do I get in return?"

"Love?" I try, Alex snorts.

"Yeah, if you believe love exists, which I don’t," he rolls his eyes. Why am I not surprised? "Still, ‘love’ would not be enough compensation for everything I have to lose and what Mother Nature is forcing me to do. The things she made me do when we were together, while I was on heat... god, just remembering it makes me want to rip Zion’s head off."

"So, you say you don’t like men, huh?… but didn’t you have multiple crushes on guys back in the day? Rio told me," I comment. Alex’s cheeks turn red with embarrassment.

"That was before I decided I don't like men anymore," he blurts out, as if sexuality is that simple, "Men are gross. Zion is gross and I hate him."

"Is he gross? He looked rather hot to me," I admit because I don't have much of a filter at this point. Alex looks at me with narrowed eyes and I hold up my hands in surrender, "I'm just saying, he's hot. Like... movie star hot."

"Well, that doesn't matter because I don't like him. I got to meet the real Zion while I was living with him, before the bond was formed. He talks so disgustingly about the omegas he f***s. All alphas do it, they are f*****g pigs, especially when they’re all together drinking and comparing d**k sizes. Zion was two-timing two omegas while I was living with him. So I got to see him at his best. Cheating and lying and playing with omegas like they’re his personal dolls. Such a nice look. He’s such a great mate for me. Thank you, Mother Nature."

"Oh," I close my mouth slowly, I guess he has a reasonable reason for not wanting to be with him. Still, I can't let Alex keep living in delusion, "But I bet you were so into it at the time, weren't you? Thinking: oh man, he’s such a cool dude, I want to be like him sooo bad."

"Don't use my trauma against me! That was before I knew I'd have to marry the guy. At least you got a good one. Rio," he says. The fun stops when I hear his name and my migraine returns, "Rio is such a great guy, he's just like a big loyal pup. He was so in love with King growing up that he never looked at anyone else, he only had eyes for him."

King is my friend now and I like him, but I can't help the jealousy coming over me when I hear that. And I get the urge to punch something, possibly Alex's face, as he lets out a loud laugh.

"Then Laurie came along and f****d everything up," he ends the story. Personally, I like that ending, "And now Rio is all yours."

"Is he? But I don't have him, do I?" I look around sarcastically, "Where's my alpha? I don't see him. He just told me to f**k the whole world and then left."

Alex laughs hysterically again and even though these last few days haven't felt fun at all, I laugh too. It's fun to have a friend just as miserable as you.

We stay in the woods for a couple of hours until we start to get hungry and decide to head back to the house.

I'm thinking about what I could eat when I see the most delicious meal right in front of my eyes: Rio.

He’s sitting next to Aaron in the steps outside the front door, chatting as if they were good friends.

The weed effect is wearing off, but for a second I stop to wonder if I'm hallucinating or something. How come it's been five days since Rio disappeared but suddenly he's back, right here, talking to Aaron?

I don't think he wants to verbally attack us all again, is he?

"Nice of you to finally show up," Rio mutters as he looks at us approaching the house and gets up from the floor to wipe his hands in his pants.

He still looks as tired as the last time I saw him... in fact, I think he looks even worse. My first instinct is to run to him and heal him or at least find out what's wrong with him, but I stop myself.

Even though the plan was to find Rio and beg him to take me back, now that I have him in front of me my pride comes back with a vengeance and makes me put up my walls.

"Aren’t we all dead to you?" Alex asks.

"Just you. You're still dead. You're a zombie, get the hell out of my sight before I decide to shoot you," Rio spits to Alex. Okay, so he's still pissed. Alex starts laughing, I don't think he understands the situation, "What? It's funny now?"

"Everything is funny when you're high, especially your dumb face," Alex blurts out and tries to get closer to his brother to push him or something, but I grab Alex’s arm and pull him back because I don't think Rio is up for that.

"You have the same dumb face, bitch."

"But yours is dumber. You're the dumber one, remember?" Alex laughs, but Rio doesn't look amused. In fact, his jaw suddenly gets tighter.

"Why are you guys getting high at ten in the morning on a Wednesday?"

"Because you hate us and we're lame," Alex answers.

“Yeah, we’re lame,” I mumble quietly, unsure but wanting to say something anyway. Rio finally sets his eyes on me and wipes his hands on his pants again. He looks nervous, "What are you doing here, Rio?"

"Uh, apologizing. To Aaron, for getting all in his face the other day," he replies pointing to Aaron behind him and biting his lip, letting me see even more how nervous he is. That gives me a little more strength. I mean, at least he's not in MY face yelling at me like the other day.

"So, are you going to apologize to me? For wishing me the worst and telling mom about my business?" Alex pushes.

"Dude, shut the f**k up. I'm still mad at you," Rio spits out. I need Alex to get out of here before things get bad again, "I did what I had to do, I just told the truth. You don't like it? I don't care, you can kiss my ass."

Alex opens his mouth to fight but I bury my nails in his arm to stop him.

"Can you leave now?" Rio continues, "Aaron, you too? I have more apologizing to do."

"Okay," Aaron says, getting up as well and walking inside the house, "Come on, Alex. Let's give them some privacy."

"Fine," Alex grunts unwillingly, but still walks to enter the house after Aaron and closes the door to leave us alone out here.

Rio takes a deep breath, his gaze is everywhere but on me, but I stay just where I am, waiting for whatever it is he wants to do.

I guess the plan to beg him to take me back isn't so necessary after all.

"Uhm..." he starts, raising a hand to scratch his head before finally daring to meet my eyes, "How are you?"

"What did you come for, Rio?" I ask directly, crossing my arms and pretending to be strong even though my knees are shaking and all I want to do is ask him to hold me and stop pushing me away, for f**k’s sake! "I have things to do."

Literally nothing.

"I just came to say I’m sorry," he blurts out. That's not good enough, “So, I’m sorry.”

"For?" I push, Rio walks a step closer.

"For thinking the worst of you? For thinking you were f*****g that guy?" he tries, I just raise an eyebrow until he throws his head back and groans, "I came in hot, you know? Ready to fight with you... and to fight for you, with Aaron. I came here ready for war, to let him know who you belong to and force you to stop being with him. But Aaron didn’t even let me say a word, he just told me I didn't have to. Apparently, he's sick of Taffy people suddenly arriving at his doorstep.”

"He must be," I reply and slowly uncross my arms, "He told you the truth? About how nothing has happened between us? About how I've been sleeping next to Alex, not him?"

"Yes," he nods, "He told me you were friend-zoning him when I came in that day."

"So how dumb do you feel now, after blowing up like that on me and yelling in my face?"

"I feel like a giant s**t with legs and eyes who deserves to die," he replies, I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling, "Luna... I'm really sorry. There was a lot going on at that moment and I was so jealous. I know I don't have the right yet, but I just was. I'm sorry for saying all that stuff I said, I obviously don't want you to go f**k the whole world."

"I would never f**k anyone else, you have to know that. I've only had eyes for you since I met you, when have I ever given you signs that I'd want to f**k anyone else?"

"Never. I know you w…” he stops himself, then takes another step towards me, "Okay, I’ll be fully honest… I actually thought you could f**k someone else. Just because of how much you wanted to stay here. So, I thought that until just a moment ago when Aaron told me that nothing happened between you. At that point I said: of course, she could never! I'm such an idiot."

"The biggest," I agree, "And you have to apologize for calling me a scammer, too. You know how much I hate it. And even more so when you imply that I scammed you into having a bond with me, that was downright rude."

"I know," he groans, looking at me with sad puppy eyes. He’s my Rio again, the same lovely boy I’ve been living with these past few weeks. I knew he wasn't being himself that day, not at all, "I'm so sorry. You're not a scammer, never have been, never will be. And I know you didn't scam me with the bond, I was just being an asshole about it."

He was, but I understand.

"Thank you, I accept your apology," I nod, "Is that all?"

"No, there's something else," he whispers and bites his lip again, taking the last step until we're completely together. The look in his eyes is deep and meaningful, so much so that I know exactly what he wants to say even though he hasn't said it yet. Or, at least, I hope I'm not completely hallucinating all of this, "I need a healing session."

"What for?" I ask in a whisper too.

"So you can figure out all those things I want to say but don't know how," he mumbles, sheepishly.

My heart starts pounding, my knees get even weaker.

"I could, but it would be better if you tried to say it."

"Okay," he takes a deep breath and lifts a hand to comb my crazy hair out of my face, "I talked to my dad about you. About how I’ve felt since you left me..."

"Since you told me to f**k off, you mean," I correct him. Rio gives me a regretful look.

"Since I pushed you away because I was afraid," he clarifies, cradling my face in his big hand, his touch immediately making me feel better, "The truth is, I was so sure that the healer was going to say we do have a fated bond that it broke my heart to hear her say we don't. Knowing it was one sided. And it hurt even more to think... if Lunanci is not meant for me, maybe I was just the conduct to get her here, make her realize she's part wolf and then find her own fated mate somewhere else. Someone who isn't me."

"That's not even remotely possible, Rio."

"Well, that's what I thought," he defends himself, "And I guess I was also being a little racist."

"I know."

"I thought about how no one was going to ever accept you, but then I realized, who the f**k cares? Also, being a healer is a big deal. I'll be able to brag about that."

I roll my eyes. Rio is such a man. They always want to brag about something.

"But... I could also brag about how you're literally the prettiest human anyone has ever seen. The least stinky one," he continues, making me f*****g melt as if he's reciting poetry, "Or maybe the most suicidal one."

Well, he's not that wrong.

"I also realized while talking to my dad that I'm in love with you... then, while I was sleeping, I realized that I've been in love with you for a long time and didn't even know it," he admits, filling me with relief. I close my eyes to enjoy this moment, "I just didn't have a chance to think about that while I was scared that my cousin would kill you. My mind was so busy… until you left and it became empty. I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too. And I love you, too," I confess. His eyes widen with shock as if he wasn't expecting that, "I love your wolf and I love you. And I love the person you two create together. I may not be able to form a bond, but I promise you, I feel like I already have one. I feel like I need you to exist. I thought living here and meeting other wolves would be enough to keep me happy, but it's not. I need you. I need my Rio, my Alpha. No one is as much fun as you. No one makes me laugh as much as you or makes me feel as full. I want you to give me a chance."

"No!" he lets out immediately and I freeze in panic for a second, "I want YOU to give ME a chance. To prove that I'll be a good boyfriend. A good alpha. And to give this bond a chance to grow... or not. But maybe stay together anyway? I swear I won't be racist anymore. And if we ever have half and half kids, I'll love them as much as I love my half-wolf cousin Phoenix."

"But you're so mean to Phoenix."

"Well, that's because he's annoying, but my kids could never," he assures and I can't keep pretending to be strong anymore. I hug his waist tightly and slip my hands under his shirt to touch his bare skin, "Is that a yes?"

"Yes, we'll give each other a chance and we'll be together. Forever," I add, in case he didn't understand. Rio lets out a heavy sigh as he feels me creating an immediate connection and entering his head.

I close my eyes, I squeeze him even tighter and I focus all my energy on creating a mental place like Isabelle. She told me how to focus my concentration to do this and although it's difficult, I think the fact that this is Rio makes it a little easier.

After a few seconds, I manage to visualize a place. The backyard of my old shop in Vaughton where I first met Rio.

I can feel Alpha in here but I can't see him, so I concentrate even harder until I can see the blue thread on my chest. I pick it up and follow it until I finally see Alpha.

He’s sleeping in the far corner. I run to him. His sadness is in the form of large leaves covering his body. They look heavy. Still, I grab them and I start to remove them with difficulty to free him. Once I do, I finally hug his big head and kiss it.

I know he’s feeling better already, he’s even trying to wake up.

"It's okay, Alpha, take your time. I'll be waiting here when you wake up," I tell him and kiss his head again before breaking the connection and returning to reality, where Rio is leaning most of his weight on me. His energy finally feels better.

"Thank you, my Healer," he says, breaking the hug and grabbing my face to lift it up and kiss my lips. Over and over again.