Healer For Alpha

Maybe Someday

"We both talked to your wolf," Isabelle continues speaking, "He really, deeply loves Lunanci. Although you don't have a fated bond, there IS a bond, but it's more... one sided. Alpha chose Lunanci as a mate even if she isn’t his by fate. Normally, that would create a chosen bond between the two of you, but Lunanci doesn't have a wolf to create that bond with. We believe there is a tiny chance that, over time, the bond could grow, but we're not sure."

This is so confusing.

"But what does that even mean? Alpha loves her but Lunanci doesn't love him back?” I ask, my head feels like a scrambled egg and I think I'm a little offended.

A one sided bond? I've never in my life heard that before. Of course I’m the only unwanted loser with a one sided bond.

"It's not that easy. Lunanci might love you with all of her heart, but human emotions have a limit, wolf emotions don't. He will love her forever... Lunanci might not."

That sounds extremely unfair for my wolf. I try to meet Lunanci's eyes to find out how to feel about all this, but she still hasn’t looked up.

"So, you have two choices," Isabelle continues, "You could stay together waiting for a bond to be created on Lunanci's part, which might never happen. However, over time, your Alpha's one sided bond will only grow stronger while Lunanci's human emotions are unpredictable. Or, you could decide to go on your separate ways. In the state your bond is in now, it could disappear soon. If it doesn't disappear on its own, I can break it."

"But... what about the healer thing? The one drop of blood Luna was talking about?" I insist, unable to believe that there are so many coincidences between us and yet they mean nothing.

Lunanci IS the most fated thing in my life, there’s no doubt about that.

I came right to her sad little human city, right into her yard, shifted right in front of her and she turned out to be a healer with wolf blood... what are the chances? None. And yet, we're not fated? That's not logical. I don't believe it. There must be a mistake somewhere.

There must be a reason why I feel like I want to punch something and throw a tantrum at Mother Nature for not giving me what I want.

"There is real magic in Lunanci, I can feel it. I think someone in her biological family has wolf blood... that's why we think maybe she needs more time than you to create a bond. I'm really sorry I don't have all the answers, Alpha."

I nod not knowing what to say, just looking down at the floor like Luna.

So, basically, what she’s saying is that maybe Lunanci could create a bond to match mine. Over time. In that case, we would have a chosen bond... I’ve read about them. They’re not that common, but they do happen and are considered just as beautiful as a fated bond. So that would be nice… except, what if Lunanci never does that?

"I'm going to leave you two alone, walk back when you feel better," Isabelle says and walks away, leaving me alone with my best friend.

She hasn't moved at all yet, which is starting to worry me a little so I reach over and grab her face to carefully lift it up.

It's red and wet.

"Hey... are you okay?" I ask, fighting the urge to hug her, "Luna?"

"No, I'm not okay," she whispers, her voice broken, "I didn't find the answers I wanted. I’m not enough for you. Alpha is sad... everything is wrong. Can we just go?"

She is right. Everything is wrong.

{ Lunanci }

I walk beside Rio doing my best to manage my emotions and not explode against him because I know he doesn't deserve my anger, but I can't help to think that if only Rio hadn't pushed so hard to find out the truth so fast... this thing between us wouldn't have to end.

At least not so soon.

Isabelle is a million times more powerful than me, she can create complete and real mental places.

We were in a long beautiful garden when Alpha came in wolf form and sat next to me to lick and scent me.

I was able to hug him and really feel him, not just talk to him like in my own mind. That was different and beautiful, especially when I noticed the delicate blue thread connecting our chests.

My stomach exploded with excitement and happiness because I thought that was the answer we were looking for, until I saw Isabelle was confused.

"This isn't..." she said, carefully reaching up to touch the delicate blue thread leading from Alpha to me, "This isn't a fated bond."

"What?" I exclaimed, tightening my arms around my Alpha's large body. 'She must be mistaken,' I thought, "Then what is it?"

Isabelle didn't answer immediately, she just stared at the thread for a couple of seconds as my anxiety went through the roof. Alpha nuzzled into my neck to make me feel better.

"I think this is a chosen bond," Isabelle replied a while later, "Alpha, you chose Lunanci as your mate. She wasn't given to you by Mother Nature, isn’t it? Be honest.”

“Yes. I decided she had to be mine,” he answered, his voice deep and confident. For some reason that sounded even better than just being mated by fate. I even got excited.

"Yeah, but usually when this happens, there are two threads," she continued with a frown, looking at me, "You would have chosen him too and that bond would be just as strong as a fated one, but there is only one thread. Only from his side.”

"It’s fine. I can love her enough for both of us," Alpha assured, "There is a bond, that's all that matters to me. She's mine, just like I said."

"But, Alpha, it’s not a full bond," Isabelle insisted, her voice very soft because she could feel just like me how Alpha was starting to get upset, "Lunanci for sure has some wolf blood, but not enough to have a full wolf to bond with. Without a real bond she can't be yours completely. You can't mark her, you can't grow old together and she can't reciprocate the intensity of your feelings."

I tightened my arms around Alpha protectively when she said that. What the f**k does she know about the intensity of my feelings anyway?

"I know enough, Lunanci," Isabelle replied, shifting her heavy gaze to me, "You have no idea how deep a wolf's love goes, it's not like what you know and you can't reciprocate just with your human feelings. I know it's sad for both of you, but it's reality."

"But I'm not just a human, that has to mean something," I fought, my voice shaking and my eyes getting glassy, "What if I just need more time? It has only been around three months since we’ve known each other, that’s a short time.”

"That's... huh, maybe," Isabelle replied, lifting our beautiful blue thread to get a better look at it, "It could be that you just need more time. Everything happens for a reason, after all. A wolf couldn't create even bond this much with a regular human, so, maybe you're right. But maybe you're not. Are you willing to wait as long as it takes to find out if you were right or wrong?"

"I am," I assured, but I know that what I want doesn't matter much. Alpha shifted to his human form then and hugged my body, "Do you think we can convince Rio to give me more time?"

"I can't lie... I don’t think so," he admitted and my eyes filled with tears once again. We both know there is no way Rio would agree to keep me for longer just because of a possibility.

He needs reassurance all the time, he needs facts, reality, not this weird ‘maybe’ mess.

Alpha put his hands on my legs to lift me up until I was sitting on his lap and hugged me tighter.

"Isabelle... could you lie for us? Just tell the human that the chosen bond is real between the two of us, please. I'm going to love Lunanci all of my life and I know she will, too.”

"Alpha, I can't lie to Rio, that would be unethical," Isabelle whispered, "It's not fair for the human to think the bond is reciprocal if it's not. Besides, this bond is new and weak, it’s just getting started. There's still a way to undo it without it causing too much damage."

"No!" He growled, tightening his hands on my body, "You're not going to undo it. I want to love her forever. I want to have a chance for her to love me back."

"Alpha," I interrupted him, raising my hand to cup his face and make him look at me. I was crying so hard I couldn't get a good look at his face, "I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. I made you think I was someone special but I'm not. I'm just a big 'what if' and a big 'maybe' but that will never be enough for Rio."

"No," he shook his head, "You're the best thing that ever happened to us. It doesn't matter if you're fated for me or not, I do whatever I want. I created this bond because there is nothing else in this world that I want as much as I want you. Even if you’re never able to create a bond, I'm still going to be there. I'm never going to leave you alone, I'm not going to..."

"That's another problem, Alpha," Isabelle interrupted him, making him look up at her with another growl, "Lunanci wants you right now, but she might change her mind in the future. You might not understand that and become... dangerous to her. It wouldn't be consensual, Alpha."

"You have no idea what you're talking about. I could never be dangerous to her. I am not delusional, I would stop if she really wanted that,” he promised, "Feel it, feel my complete honesty. I'm never going to do anything to hurt her."

"You're right. I'm sorry,” Isabelle nodded, “You can decide to be together and give each other a chance, but your human part must know the truth, he has a right to know. Then, you can make the right choice.”

"He's not ready yet," Alpha complained and I felt guilty again. It's my fault this is all happening before Rio is ready, "Love, he's going to reject you. He will think it’s too hard.”

"I know," I replied in a sob and buried my fingers in his back, crying into his chest again, "He's going to send me away, he's going to make me go back to Vaughton."

Alpha couldn’t lie to me, so he just hugged me and whispered how much he loves me.

"I love you too," I replied, lifting my gaze in case this is the last time we speak, "I love you so much I can't believe there's not a f*****g bond from me. I'm so sorry I'm not enough."

"You are," he growls, "You are enough, you're all I want. Just never forget how I feel about you, don't let whatever he tells you make you doubt it.”

Isabelle apologized to us again and slowly ended the connection.

I’m lost in my mind the whole time we walk back to Isabelle's house and find everyone in the living room. I keep my eyes on the floor so they don't try to ask me anything or make me talk because I'm sure I'm going to break down if I try to.

"Are you going back to Tallahide?" Oliver asks in a soft voice, not asking questions because I'm sure he knows the answer just by looking at me.

"Yes, King is waiting for me," Laurent answers and he hugs his dad, "I'll be back soon to see the rest of the family."

"Okay, angel... you guys eat something before you hit the road, okay? We spend a lot of time here," he says and I can see he hugs Rio too, "I love you, pup. I’ll talk to you later."

When I see him let go of him I turn to get out of the house behind Laurie, but Oliver grabs my arm and pulls me towards him.

"We don't have to talk about it, but I'm sorry," he says and holds me tightly. I squeeze my eyes shut trying to keep my tears behind my eyes. He was so excited for us. I feel like I let him down, "I'll still be on your side, whatever you decide to do. Please come back to visit."

"I will, thank you," I manage to say, even though I know it's not true. I look up at Isabelle, "Thank you for everything, Isabelle. I'm sorry if I was rude in the session with Alpha."

"No worries, child," she answers and comes over to give me a hug too. As soon as I touch her, I feel a surge of relief... she's healing me, "I know you feel like it's all over now, but it's not. You are now my apprentice, okay? I want you to come back soon, I have to teach you everything I know before I die."

"Oh," I blurt out with wide eyes, seeing a little light outside the tunnel, "I'll totally be back, then... thanks, bye."

Both boys are waiting for me inside Laurie’s car. Luckily, this time I get to be the one who gets in the back seat and doesn’t have to talk to anyone.

Surprisingly, Laurent doesn't say anything. He doesn’t even look pleased with the fact that we obviously discovered we’re not fated. In fact, I see him glancing my way from time to time, looking away when I meet his concerned eyes.

"Are you guys hungry?" He asks.

"No," Rio and I answer at the same time, even though it's seven in the evening and we haven't eaten anything since breakfast.

"Okay, well... I am hungry," he mumbles anyway and drives to some place. Once we arrive, he gets out of the car and leaves us here alone. However, I can't even think it's awkward because Rio gets out too.

I can see how he paces for a moment and ends up leaning against a wall with his hands on his knees and his head dropped down. He looks miserable.

Before I start crying again, I lay down on the seats and pull out my phone. The first thing I do is look for that text from Aaron that I didn't answer yesterday.

"Hey, sorry, this is really my number. Did you find anything?" I answer his text, which said: 'Is this really Lunanci's number?'

"Hi, Lunanci. I'm fine, thanks for asking.” he replies immediately, which makes me smile despite how shitty I feel, "I found what you asked for, I know Rio’s roommate. I'll send you the location."

Just like that, Aaron sends me the location of 'Rio' even though it's really Alex, my non-mate’s twin.

I know for a fact Rio is going to tell me to f**k off sooner rather than later, but before that happens I want to give him a gift so he never forgets me.

I want to go to his twin, meet him, force him to make things right with Rio and for the two of them to find a solution together.

Then I can leave.