Untamed: the prophecies

Chapter 7

Adonis:

          After we talked and had dinner and laughed some more about things that have happened to us and how we grew up with such great parents who left a huge mark on our lives. They and this great love story and m a lot of their love story they censored out but we know. They had a rough start but they became such great parents to us and showed up nothing but love.  After reminiscing we decided to call it a night. 

       As I put away all my paperwork and d up my desk, I turned the light off and headed to my suite. Entering my room I could finally breath and relax. I only feel at peace in this room because me it is all mine and I am alone. I don’t have to worry about people looking at me, people challenging me or disrespecting me. I don’t have to worry about having to be strong. I can be as weak as I want in here. I can be as fragile as I want in here because this is my space. I take a shower, blow dry my silky long black hair, change into my burgundy silk pajama set, and get laid down. 

            I cover myself up in my black velvet comforter and my satin silk sheets. This is my home, my safe place. I think of all the things Lillian and I talked about. Mostly about love and life. Would I ever find love? If I find love will be just use me? Will My judgement be clouded by my every thought being of him? Will I ever be able to be less independent because of a man? If he ask me to be less independent does the mean he isn’t truly the one because I will never change for anyone and if he ask then it isn’t love. 

           I think of all the things that scares me, all the fears I have about finding this person and all the joy it could possibly bring me. Do I want children? What if get with someone and I fall so in love that it is painful? What if I fall so in love and then I get hurt? I may be an alpha but I have a soft heart and believe it or not I have a soft spot for a great love story. I don’t let it be shown. Alphas can never show their weakness. I wonder what it would be like to be kissed or held. Could I even lay with someone and just be held or am I at risk even doing something as small as being held? I will never know because I will never allow myself to get hurt and I will never allow myself to have my judgment clouded by a man. What if my judgement is clouded and my sister or my family or my pack is harmed?

         Rolling over on my side I look out of the window at the moon. The glorious, white, shining moon and I think of all the reasons I am the way that I am and it makes sense why I could never be with anyone. 

       “Moon goddess I hope you can hear me from down here and I hope you have time to listen to my words. I vow to you that I will never find a mate. I will never give my time to a man who would distract me from my duties. I vow to you I will never entertain the idea of a man who can take my mind and priorities away from this pack.” I whispered my vows to her. 

        “My child, you have no idea the plan I have for you and your sister. Be patient my child.” She answered back. 

       I pray to her but she hardly ever answers me. Tonight I knew she had a plan of her own and for her to speak back to me I knew I should let her handle this. However I’m will keep my promise whether she believes it or not. 

       Closing my eyes I fall into a deep sleep.