Ashes of desire

Chapter 11 Rue's POV

Jordan moved , slow and careful. He smoothed his shirt at the collar, zipped up his jacket with one hand, ran a thumb across his jaw as if to wipe the memory of the car from his face. I was still breathless and disheveled, I watched him with the dizzy, guilty awareness of someone who had been caught between wanting and wanting not to be caught.

“Stay,” he told me in a low voice.

He opened the door and stepped out.

I clutched at the seat, the leather under my fingers cold then.

And I heard the night close in the distant hum of campus, the rustle of late leaves, the faint thump from the cinema’s speakers.

He didn’t walk far. He only left the shelter of the car long enough to see who stood in the shadow.

When she recognized the figure, her stomach dropped.

It was Jenny.

She had been close enough to see, close enough to snatch the moment.

She stood half-hidden behind a scooter, arms folded, face drained of color.

she looked stunned, like someone who’d found a truth they weren’t ready to name.

“Jenny.” His voice sliced through the quiet and somehow made the air colder.

“Jordan.” She answered, the single word brittle.

I rearranged myself and opened the car door hesitantly, stepping out, my legs trembling slightly.

Jordan glanced back over his shoulder at me. “Come here, Rue.”

I obeyed.

Jenny’s eyes flicked between us, widening slightly at how effortlessly I followed his voice.

I didn’t miss the judgment in that glance, it stung, but she didn’t speak.

Jordan stopped a few steps from Jenny, keeping his voice even. “It’s late. You two should get back to the hostel.”

Jenny frowned, hugging herself tighter. “Rue, what’s going on?”

I opened my mouth, then closed it. “I…”

Jordan stepped closer to me, his hand brushing my elbow not roughly, but enough to remind me he was there. His presence was grounding.

“Not tonight,” he said quietly, looking at Jenny. “Let her rest.”

Jenny’s lips pressed together, but she didn’t argue.

Jordan walked us halfway back toward the hostel, silent but alert, like he was making sure no one else was watching. When we reached the hostel block, he stopped.

“Jenny,” he said, his tone softer this time, “give us a minute.”

Jenny hesitated, then took a step back, waiting just far enough to give us privacy.

Jordan turned to me, tilting my chin gently so I had no choice but to meet his eyes. “Are you okay?”

I nodded, though my throat felt tight. But i like every inch of what ever is about to happen

He studied me for a moment longer, then pulled me closer by the waist and kissed me again slow, lingering, but not rough i kissed him back .His palm rested briefly at the back of my neck while the other is on my waist

“Good,” he murmured against my hair. “Go. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

I felt my knees go weak at the firmness of his voice. I felt like to be with him all night.

I nodded again.

He let me go, watching as I rejoined Jenny.

I glanced back just once Jordan was still standing there, hands in his pockets, watching until we were safely inside the hostel gate.

As soon as we were out of sight, Jenny grabbed my arm.

“What happened in that car?” Jenny hissed, her whisper fierce. What were those kisses?

I froze. The question slammed into me like cold water.

Jenny’s eyes searched mine. Rue. whatever that was back there…” she shook her head, “I need to know.”

I opened my mouth and no words came. The night air suddenly felt thick, hot against my skin.

“I can’t talk about it now,” I managed, pulling my arm free.

Jenny stared at me for a moment, then nodded slowly, though her frown didn’t fade.

Back in our room, I sat on the bed in silence while Jenny changed. My mind was racing, but not with guilt the memory of Jordan’s touch still lingered on my skin, the feeling of him inside me still has my p***y soaked. I caught myself smiling faintly when Jenny wasn’t looking.

Should I tell her everything? Or keep it to myself?

“Okay,” Jenny said, turning to face me. “We’re not doing this. You’re not just going to waltz in here and pretend nothing happened out there.”

I let out a tired, shaky laugh and tossed my scarf onto the chair. “Jenny, not now. Please. I just…” I pressed a hand to my chest. “I just need to breathe.”

Jenny’s eyes were sharp, scanning my face. “Breathe later. Talk now.”

I flinched at the firmness in her voice. I hadn’t seen Jenny this serious ever. Jenny’s arms were folded, but there was a tremor in her shoulders, a mix of anger and fear.

“Jenny, I just need to shower, okay?” I said finally, my voice cracking a little. “I can’t talk about this right now.”

For a moment, Jenny didn’t move. Then she gave a short, clipped nod. “Fine”

Steam filled the small bathroom, fogging the mirror until my reflection blurred. I turned on the water hotter than usual, letting it sting my skin as if that could wash away everything I felt.

My mind betrayed me almost immediately, replaying the backseat in perfect, merciless detail the way Jordan had looked at me in the dark, his voice low and unsteady, the heat of his hands, the press of his mouth all over my skin

I let the water run down my face, over my body, and when it reached my thighs, I flinched as though my skin remembered every touch.

The memory wasn’t shameful, not really. It was… alive.

What i felt in my p***y wasn't something i can imagine because that was a new feeling and also the best feeling I've ever had.

I shouldn’t be smiling, I thought, biting my lip, but the smile was there anyway.

Then came the guilt, the memory of Jenny’s face outside the car, the shock in her eyes, the way she had gripped my arm. Jenny had looked like she was about to break.

I scrubbed my skin, harder this time, as if that could erase Jenny’s stare from my mind

When I stepped out and wrapped the towel around myself, I felt cleaner but no lighter.

---

Jenny was waiting, sitting cross-legged on her bed with her arms wrapped around her knees. She didn’t look angry anymore. She looked… worried.

A towel-dried my hair slowly, trying to delay the inevitable.

“Well?” Jenny said softly.

I froze, then sat on the edge of my own bed, back still to Jenny. “We… we were just talking.”

Jenny let out a dry laugh. “Talking? Rue, I saw you come out of that car. You looked like you’d…” She stopped, pressing her lips together. “You didn’t look like someone who was just talking.”

I turned then, meeting her eyes. Jenny’s expression was open and raw, no judgment, just fear.

“We were… close,” I admitted finally, my voice a whisper. “But we didn’t… go all the way, we just kissed and some other things…”

Jenny’s shoulders relaxed slightly but she didn’t let go completely. “Rue, do you even hear yourself? This is Jordan we’re talking about. You’ve been sneaking with him almost every night.”

My cheeks burned. “I haven’t been sneaking out…”

“Really?” Jenny cut me off gently.

I dropped my gaze to the floor, ashamed.

Jenny’s tone softened. “Rue… I’m not saying this to make you feel bad. I just don’t trust him. He’s older, he’s… intense. You can’t just let him pull you around like this.”

I swallowed hard. “He doesn’t pull me around. I want this. I like this.”

Jenny’s eyes softened at that, but she still looked uneasy.

“You’re my friend,” Jenny said quietly, “and I want you to be happy. But if this keeps going…” She hesitated, then took a deep breath. “…I don’t know if I can just sit here and watch you get hurt.”

I looked up sharply. “Jenny….”

“I’m not saying this to control you,” Jenny said quickly, her fingers tightening around the edge of her blanket. “But if you won’t protect yourself… I might have to do it for you.”

My heart thudded painfully. The words felt heavy, like a warning and a promise all at once.

I didn’t know if Jenny meant confronting Jordan, telling a lecturer, or worse telling my father.

“Please don’t do anything,” I whispered, almost pleading.

Jenny just held her gaze, saying nothing.

I lay awake long after Jenny had turned out the light. Every creak of the bed, every shift of blankets made me wonder if Jenny was still awake, still thinking, still planning.

And in the quiet, I thought of Jordan’s promise at the gate, We’ll talk tomorrow.