Because of His Love

Chapter 3: Michael - Limitations

I was hoping someone would be in the convenience store today so I could ask about my request. I didn't expect it would be Allyson. I was drawn to her black hair and deep blue eyes. There was something in her eyes that tore through me; pain or sadness. I can't name the emotions she carries in her eyes.

For the few minutes I was in the store, I felt like her eyes were bearing into my soul. The likes of which intrigued me and aroused me. God, I wanted to bed her right there, but I had only just met her so I had to control myself. I came back up to my apartment and take a cold shower. She knocked on my door while I was trying not to think about her. I don't know why I can't stop thinking about her.

I let her in and she asked me questions. She only asked two, but I feel like I bared my whole life to her in my answers. I probably would tell her my whole life story if it kept her on my couch so I could look into her paralyzing blue eyes. After she leaves, I get back in the cold shower and just let the water cool my skin.

I've been around a lot of girls every time I had to stay in the hospital for my heart murmur. I've never reacted this way toward any of them and I know I had some gorgeous nurses. My older brother would always tell me who he'd 'bang,' as he always had an eloquent way of wording things. I admit that some were attractive.

I make up my mind that I am going to ask her out to dinner and maybe take a walk. She seems like someone I would love to get to know and not just the lustful way. Confident that she will say yes, I get dressed. I wear my favorite green shirt with a pair of khaki shorts. I take extra care to comb my hair so I look nice. I want to make a good impression after all.

I walk down to her door. I raise my hand to knock, but I hear a male voice inside. He's yelling at the television over some football game. My stomach knots up. I can't do this. I can't like someone who has a boyfriend. I just don't want to be heartbroken. I turn and walk through the store. I walk out onto the street and take a deep breath. How could I be foolish to hope she was single?

I try to walk to the McDonald's I saw when my parents moved me into my apartment. It's about half a mile away. My leg starts aching and I have to sit down. I lower myself to the curb and call my mom. I explain what happened and she chastised me for even trying, saying I know my limitations. I agree with her. She asks me where I am and tells me to wait when I tell her. I usually don't push my limitations.

My mom gets to my location and I get in the car. She keeps an extra bottle of my pain medication in her purse. She asks me why I tried to push myself past what I know I can do. I have no explanation that I know will suffice so I go with the truth.

"I wanted to ask out the neighbor girl, but she has a boyfriend so I was upset and not thinking clearly."

"I know what it's like to be young," she says as she pats my knee. "Now, where were you trying to go?" I feel kind of embarrassed when I tell her McDonald's. She doesn't say anything, just takes me through the drive-thru. I tell her my order and she repeats it to the person on the other side of the speaker. I get this weird sensation in my stomach so I tell my mom to double the order. She looks at me like I've grown a second head, but doubles the order.

She knows my diet and she knows I eat healthy almost all the time. She always told me while I was growing up that it's ok to have a cheat day once in a while. I haven't had my cheat day in well over a month so I'm hungry for some fries. The food smells so good I start drooling on myself. This makes my mom laugh.

I see a figure sitting in the corner of the balcony when my mom pulls the car around the corner. She parks the car in my designated spot for the building. I thank her by kissing her cheek. She tells me to call her or text if I need a ride and I agree with her. She watches me go up the stairs and waits to make sure I go inside. I watch out the window to make sure she leaves.

I go back out along the balcony to investigate who is sitting in the corner. It's Allyson and she's crying. Not little whimpers, she's full-on ugly sobbing. My heart aches for her. I sit down beside her and touch her gently. She winces at my light touch.

"You ok?" I ask

It takes her a minute to realize who I am. "Oh, hey, Michael. I'm ok," she lies. I know she's not because people don't cry like that if they're ok.

"You wanna talk about it over dinner?" I ask, suddenly remembering I have food. I rummage through the bag for a napkin. "Here, have that." I try to make a joke. It works because she laughs slightly. I pretend to make a big show over what's in my bag. I take out a medium fries. "That's for me." I hand her one fry, "That's for you."

She nudges my arm. "You're being a pain." She snatches the bag away. She's laughing with me now so I feel better than when I found her in tears. "Thank you for dinner."

"Well, you know, it's my cheat day and I can't cheat alone," I say, half-joking.

"I like your cheat day. I never get McDonald's."

How can someone never get greasy fast food? It's everywhere. Then, I remember she said she doesn't drive. I figure she could walk, but I know how hard it is for me to walk that far. I don't think she has the same issue I do. I shrug to myself and stop thinking about the why and just enjoy the company. 

We sit there on the balcony for an hour. Allyson tells me her legs have gone numb. Mine have, too. I try to get up and fall over. She laughs heartily and the sound is music to my ears. Finally, I am able to stand up without falling. I hold out my hand to help her up. She flinches at first, but takes my hand with hesitation.

I lead her into my apartment where we can sit more comfortably. She catches the time on my microwave, which happens to be the only thing I can set correctly. I see the panic in her eyes. She thanks me for dinner and runs down to her apartment. I wonder why she panicked. I think nothing of it and decide it's time to rest. I figure I will just go down to the store and ask her about it in the morning.

I lie down in my bed and check some news on my phone. I play a few levels of the game I have been hooked on for the past few weeks. My brain has had enough and I give in to sleep. I just start dozing off when I hear yelling from downstairs. I roll over. I am just too tired to pay attention to anything.