Because of His Love

Chapter 4: Allyson - Broken

Tyler is pissed when I come back from hanging out with Michael. I didn't realize I had been gone so long. He grabs my arms so hard I can feel the bruises forming where his fingers are gripping me. He spits in my face.

"Why are you so f*****g worthless?" he screams in my face. "All I asked for was dinner and you burnt it," he lowers his voice because he doesn't want to alert the neighbors again. "Then, you don't clean up. You just disappear."

I know he's going to hit me. I can feel it where he's gripping my arms. He tightens his grip before he slams me into the counter. He slams me so hard my teeth chatter and I bite my tongue. He loosens his grip on my arms only to grab my left arm with both hands. He slams my forearm against the edge of the counter. I hear a crack and I pray it's just the counter. He lets me go and stalks toward his bedroom.

The crack I heard was not the counter. Pain radiates up my arm. I spit blood into the sink and I start to cry silently. I know if I wake him, things will only get worse. When I hear him snoring, I sneak out the interior door and go into the store. I use the store phone to call a taxi. I need to go to urgent care or the hospital. I only have a precious few minutes to think of a lie to explain my bruises and now broken arm.

The taxi driver thankfully doesn't ask any questions. I pay him and give him a $10 tip. The ER nurse takes one look at me and ushers me into a room to be examined. Two nurses take me for x-rays. My arm is broken in three places. They help me out of my shirt sleeve so they can set my arm and put it in a cast. I get so scared. They're going to ask questions. I can't answer them. I just can't. I will start crying and they won't believe me.

I've only ever told my parents what happens in my apartment. They tried to have me committed to the mental hospital. That was the most peaceful three days of my life. The doctor there told them I was sane and they should listen to me. They took me back home, back to my older brother.

"Honey, the s*x can't be so good that you just let him hit you," the nurse says.

"It's not what you think," I say.

She tells me that something like this should be reported. I honestly wish I could. I cry again. She hugs me tenderly and lets me cry for what feels like hours. Maybe thirty minutes pass before the doctor comes back in. He gives me a prescription and a number to a follow up doctor, with whom he's already made an appointment in six weeks. I thank them and make my way out the door. One of my nurses tells me to wait before I am outside. She goes into a room and returns with a urse and a set of keys.

"Come on, honey, I'll take you home." We get in her car and except for the directions I give to my apartment, the ride is silent. She digs in her purse for a moment when we park and hands me two business cards; one is hers and one is a therapist she's friends with. "Call me if you want to get away. Whether it's for a day or for good." I thank her again. I go inside and hide the business cards in my underwear drawer.

I take one of the sample pain pills they gave me at the ER because I can't go to the pharmacy until morning. I prop my arm on a pillow so I can hopefully sleep for a while. Soon the intense pain lessens its hold on me and I drift to sleep. I wake a few hours later with tears streaming down my face.

I can't do this anymore. I can't live like this. How long until he's not satisfied with hitting me and pulling my hair? My body is shaking and I am sobbing again. I sob in my room for a while. I look at my bedside clock. s**t, he'll be awake in an hour. I go out into the kitchen. I start making breakfast, but my arm hurts terribly so I just get out the cereal and milk.

Tyler stumbles into the kitchen. He's grumbling about coffee or some stupid thing. He asks me where breakfast is. I point at the milk and cereal. He doesn't argue. He pours himself half the box of cereal into a mixing bowl and takes it into the living room. I have a tiny glimmer of hope that he feels some remorse for his actions last night, but I don't get so lucky. He's yelling at me to bring him the rest of the cereal and I should be quick about it. I take it in to him.

I go over to the store and call the landlord. I tell him briefly that I broke my arm and ask if Michael can run the store while I can't. He accepts. I offer to train him since I can do that with one hand. I go knock on Michael's door. I hide my arm until I am safely inside his apartment.

"Oh, my God, Allyson! What happened?"

"I fell down the stairs when I rushed out last night," I lie. "I'm so clumsy. Listen, the reason I came is to ask if you wouldn't mind learning the store until my arm is better." To my amazement, he agrees.

We go down to the store and I show him as much as I can. He comprehends everything quickly with only a few instructions and a few questions. It's a busy day. We talk so easily between customers, like old friends. We get a call around 2 P.M. telling us we can close up at 3 P.M. Michael looks at me and asks if I want to come up to his apartment to watch a movie. I tell him I would love to, but I have to be home by 4:30.

"You have a boyfriend. I shouldn't have asked."

What? Tyler? No, that's my brother." I can see the hope in his eyes when I deny a boyfriend.

"Oh, well, good," he says, winking at me. I can feel the blush creep up my cheeks.