Imaginary Boyfriend

10

The same evening Soomin was lying on her bed while her tears were soaking her pillow. Her parents were oblivious of her state, they always were. For them, the only reason for their daughter’s gloomy behavior was her condition with visual impairment.

She hid the fact that she was being bullied and called names at. She was a target for everyone running from their own miserable life. But she wanted to spare the extra burden for her parents, so she wept alone in her room, hiding her tears from the world. At least this way her parents won’t be more disappointed with her.

Haeun wanted to tell her parents but she made her take a promise leaving her friend in a very sensitive situation. So she tried to be with Soomin as much as possible whenever they were in their university.

Jacob knocked on the door and was greeted by her smiling mother, “she is in her room.” He nodded and walked up on the stairs.

He was about to open but he heard a faint sob, brushing it off he opened the door only to find Soomin curled up on her bed sniffing. Her back was facing him and somehow she didn’t notice the creaking of the door.

After standing on the doorframe for a while, Jacob was sure she was crying.

Jacob was confused of what was happening. What was he supposed to do? Comfort her? But why would he do that? He was no one to her and she was no one to him.

He wanted too turn and run away to his own comfort place but his legs weren’t cooperating. He couldn’t leave the girl like that.

He started gathering some good reasons for him to comfort her, like if his brother came to know he would be murdered or how it won’t be very manly of him to run away.

Making up his mind he walked closer to the bed and stretched out his hand to shake Soomin.

Soomin wiped her tears immediately and blinked multiple times and turned, expecting to see her mother.

Jacob was surprised as he looked at Soomin. There was no trace of a tear and her eyes were normal too. Like she wasn’t even crying at all.

'I swear she was just crying. Her pillow is wet too.'

Jacob looked back at Soomin and she just smiled which confused him more.

"How did it go with your project?" Jacob asked her and she gave out a small chuckle pointing at the file on her desk which her friend had re-organized after the incident at her college.

"It went perfect. I’m sure I’ll get good grades and credits.” She replied looking straight at Jacob.

He could have sworn that she was sarcastic until she continued.

"Thank you. You can leave now. I'm trying to sleep." Soomin laid on her bed again, facing the other side, the same position she had when he walked in.

"What happened Soomin?" Jacob asked as he could feel the girl was sad but Soomin just ignored him.

She just closed her eyes and pretended to sleep.

When there was no reply, he peeked at Soomin only to find her sleeping.

Soomin thought he would leave but she felt her bed sink. He was hesitant but after some thoughts he threw one of his arms over her while the other made its way under her neck, meeting the former. Her body was engulfed in Jacob's arms but she didn't feel like resisting his hug so she just laid like she was still sleeping.

"I'm here for you Soomin. Just tell me whatever that is bothering you, we’ll work on it together." Jacob said softly making her more confused.

Her mind was hurting due to excessive thinking and this was not helping at all. But at the same time it was.

It was working perfectly. For the first time ever, she felt safe and loved.

Too bad it was all fake.

Jacob caressed Soomin's cheeks. Faint tears were staining her pale cheeks.

Jacob knew that she was still crying when he laid beside her.

For the very first time in a while, he felt a pain in his heart looking at someone else in pain. He couldn't tell why.

He couldn't tell why he felt this way.

Why he stayed.

Why he laid beside her.

Why his hands reached her cheek.

Why he felt like he belonged where he was lying, right beside her.

What impressed him the most was how Soomin controlled her emotions.

Her mother told him that she was emotionally unstable and would always act on her mood but the way she behaved made him think how those words contrast her.

He felt the girl shift and gave her space by moving back a little.

Soomin who was now sleeping with her face facing Jacob now.

After some times, Soomin opened her eyes slowly as she was disturbed by Jacob constantly touching her face.

"Hi," Jacob said softly, "How do you feel?"

"Why are you still here?" Soomin asked him in a deep voice.

"You didn't ask me to leave." Jacob said and smiled softly. He lifted his hands to caress her cheeks again but she moved back.

"I did and please don't touch me." Soomin requested him.

Jacob brought his hands back and smiled sadly. He didn’t knew if he was crossing his boundary and he’d hate himself if he made the girl uncomfortable.

"What were you thinking?" Soomin asked looking at him, being so near his face she mentally admitted that the boy had some really cool features.

"About how special you are. How strong you are." Jacob said honestly.

"I'm not strong, I'm weak and dependent." She said and sighed, "I am so dependent that I waited for you. For you to show up. But you didn’t."

Jacob was left speechless after this confession. A flaw in this plan of his brother, a black hole that would hurt Soomin every time she recalled him. He wanted to apologize but had no words to start with.

"I am not strong. I'm just good at hiding feelings." Soomin said looking into Jacob's eyes and all that she could feel was hurt and a weird feeling.