On His Knees

Chapter 7

// this is the censored ver.

By the time Caden pulled away, I was panting and wanting for more. The tingling of my lips heightened, and it began to feel sore. Caden smirked, licking his lips in satisfaction.

I was confused. Why did he do that? Why did he kiss me as if he had feelings for me? Why? “You—”

“You can’t blame,” he said, running his thumb over my aching lips. “You’re just too damn cute.”

My face was as red as a tomato. I was speechless! I didn’t know what to say nor to think. There were only questions popping in my head. Why did Caden do it? Did he kiss me because he liked me? Or was it because he’s just teasing me. As much as I wanted to interrogate him to give me some sense of peace, I couldn’t. I was afraid he’d answer me things I didn’t want to hear.

It’d break my heart.

I loved Caden. He’s one of the most important people in my life and I’d do anything to stay with him. I already knew from the beginning that confessing my feelings for him could possibly ruin the friendship we built for years. If I did that, I’d sink in a depressive state and nothing could save me but Caden himself.

“T-that’s enough of your jokes,” I finally said, my voice trembling and shy. I’m aware I sounded flustered like I hated the kiss with all my might, but God knows how much I was yearning for Caden. Suppressing my feelings for him for almost a decade, it’s hard. I wouldn’t be surprised if I’d end up exploding. But I knew what the consequences were if I did that.

“I wasn’t joking,” Caden said.

I turned to him, my eyes widening in utter shock. “What?”

“Didn’t I say? You don’t kiss your friends like this,” he continued, the corner of his lip slightly twitching. Caden’s eyes glistened, making it look even more like an exquisite jewel.

Did it mean…no way. No freaking way! “Does it mean you li—”

We were interrupted when someone blared their horns behind us. Caden and I turned around and I was surprised to see a long line of cars waiting at the back. I quickly drove the car forward in dismay. Caden settled back on his seat. He rubbed his face and heaved a sigh.

The ride back to the Vaccarino mansion was awkward as hell. I kept my hands on the steering wheel and refused to look at Caden. I just couldn’t. After what happened earlier, I began to have doubts—about my importance to him and if he liked me the same way I do.

I parked the car in front of the house. My gaze remained in front, refusing to even give Caden a glance. Through my peripheral vision, I saw him looking at me expectantly. Unfortunately, I was too frightened to look back. I was afraid he’d say he’s just making a fool out of me and was teasing me—I didn’t want to hear that.

“Thanks for giving me a ride,” he quietly said. Opening the door, he got out. “I won’t be going to school tomorrow. Behave yourself, Livi.” He slammed the door close. With all my confidence, I finally turned my head. I watched him walk inside the house, greeted by Ronan, uncle Dom’s right hand as well as Caden’s guardian.

The door closed and I sighed out loud. My heart was still beating fast even after the kiss happened. I thought I’d be fine once Caden was gone but I wasn’t.

“Didn’t I say? You don’t kiss your friends like this.”

I looked at myself through the rear mirror and saw how flushed my face was. Even my ears were red.

Damn you, Caden.

Going back home was one of the hardest things to do after spending time with Caden. It’s hard to part ways with him especially after that kiss or rather kisses he initiated. I could still feel his lips against mine, his tongue forcing its way inside my mouth as if it’s marking its territory.

I stepped on the brake, stopping directly in front of my house. I pulled the handbrake, banging my head on the steering wheel. It hurt…a lot, proving this wasn’t a dream or a delusion I’m having for being in love with Caden for so many years. The kiss was real.

“Damn it, damn it, damn i—!”

Someone knocked on the door and I jolted, jumping on my seat in shock. I looked outside the window and it was uncle Milo who knocked. He was dad’s younger brother, advisor and one of his accountants as well. He lived with us after losing his wife from a shootout that happened years ago. He’d often be out, arranging meetings and such for dad.

I turned the engine off and opened the car door. “Hey,” I greeted, pouting.

Uncle Milo had ash-white hair, softly tanned skin and vivid blue eyes. He looked nothing like dad, well, maybe except for the shape of the face. They both had sharp and square jaws. Uncle Milo was a slender man who always wore tight suits, giving him a professional and nimble demeanor. He’s so different from Dad who obviously looked like a mob boss. “What happened to your face?” was his first question.

I grunted. Right, he hadn’t seen it yet. “I just got into a petty fight. Nothing serious,” I muttered. “What’s wrong?”

“I just figured out I haven’t been home for quite some time. Do you want to have dinner?” uncle Milo asked.

I narrowed my eyes at him. To be honest, I would have wanted to just stay in my room and lock myself for the rest of the night and think about Caden and his lips, but I knew too well it wouldn’t do me good. Besides, uncle Milo was right. He hadn’t been home for weeks. He was busy doing whatever job he’s doing for dad. “Okay,” I said, accepting his invitation. Aside from dad, uncle Milo was the only family member I was close to. He took care of me after his wife died and would stay with me all the time while dad was busy training my older brothers. Like how Ronan was to Caden, uncle Milo was also my guardian. “I’ll just take a shower.”

“Good, make it quick. I’ll wait here,” he said, pulling out his tobacco box out of his pocket to smoke.

Uncle Milo was still smoking a cigarette when I got out of the house. I wore new clothes, just a simple black shirt, and jeans. I wanted to stay at a coffee shop after I finished having dinner with uncle Milo to take my mind off things. But I realized it’s better to sleep it off and forget everything that happened today.

“Took you a long time, kid,” uncle Milo teased, smirking at me. “Did you jerk off?”

I was taken aback by his answer, I didn’t have the time to properly react. “O-of course not, are you crazy?!”

Uncle Milo stifled his laugh. “You do know the more you deny, the more it becomes true, right?”

I walked past him, stomping on my way back to my car parked in front of the house. “Shut up! I didn’t masturbate, okay?”

“Okay, whatever you say, kid,” uncle Milo said, following me to the car. We got inside and I drove out of the gate and into the road.

“Where are we going to eat?” I asked. I was agitated a while ago but the song playing on the radio calmed me down. It was soft and quiet, deeply relaxing.

“I’ve been craving for tacos for some reason.”

“Okay, Taco Bell then.”

“Good.”

I was surprised he’d choose a fast-food restaurant. I thought he’d go for something fancy like a five-star place where we’d always find him. I guess he wanted something down to earth once in a while. “What made you want fast food?” I finally asked. I turned to the main road and drove to the direction of the nearest Taco Bell.

“Eating with a bunch of old men in fancy-ass restaurants burned me,” he replied, nonchalantly. “If I eat another god damn Kobe beef, I’d throw up.”

I scoffed. Feasting over a three-hundred-dollar beef was something an ordinary person would die for. But of course, our family earned millions in a month thanks to the kind of business we had and as expected, eating extravagant food was a norm for us. But unlike my family, I’d rather just eat a burger and fries. Sure, it wasn’t healthy but who cares? Everyone’s going to die anyway.

“Was dad with you?” I asked. “What kind of things did you even do?”

Uncle Milo turned to me. “That’s a first.”

“What?” I asked, confused.

“That’s the first time you actually asked what I’ve been doing,” he explained, letting out an amused smile. “What changed, huh?”

He knew I wasn’t interested in anything related to our family business. “I—uh, I was just…curious,” I stammered. “You haven’t been home for a long time.”

Smiling at me, uncle Milo said, “if you’re that curious, I was busy taking care of Arlo’s new store.”

Dad’s opening a new store? “What store?” I asked.

“A s*x-based store,” he replied with a straight face.

I almost choked on my own saliva. “W-what?” I stuttered, bewildered. What’s a s*x-based store anyway?

“Nothing out of the ordinary,” uncle Milo said, shrugging his shoulders. “He has a lot of customers who are satisfied with his business and they keep requesting to open another branch, somewhere far from the city for…privacy,” he finished as he shook his head, totally mocking the people he just mentioned.

I grimaced. I reckoned those people were married and had kids—a family they’re supposed to go home to, but they’d rather spend thousands of dollars for s****l favors. It’s both sad and disappointing. “So, you’ve been busy establishing this store?” I asked.

“Yeah. The Vaccarinos are in it too. Next week, I’m going to meet Dom.”

I perked up. “Oh, uncle Dom’s going home next week?”

He turned to me, awed that I know the leader of the Vaccarinos was out of the country. “You know he’s not here?”

“Yeah, Caden told me.” That’s strange. Dad didn’t even know uncle Dom was gone and yet uncle Milo does. If the Vaccarinos were in with this new establishment, why was dad not aware of uncle Dom’s activities? But then again, it was uncle Milo dealing with this store. Maybe dad just had a lot of stuff going on for him. Together with my brothers, uncle Milo helped him with the family business.

“You’re still close with Caden?” he asked. I noticed he was interested as soon as he heard Caden’s name. He had been talking to me in a bored voice ever since we got in the car. Now I had his full attention.

“Yeah, I’m still friends with him.” Surprisingly.

“Didn’t I say? You don’t kiss your friends like this.” Ugh, stop it, Livio!

Uncle Milo was impressed. “That’s…shocking.”

“Why?” I asked. Taco Bell was getting near. Another left turn and we’re there. “Is it weird I’m still friends with him?” I asked.

“No, I just thought you won’t get involved with him,” he mumbled. “He’s been taking care of his father’s work for quite some time. He even formed a gang under the Vaccarinos.”

I did recall Caden saying he had a gang and that Kelly and his friends were a part of it. I wasn’t familiar with gangs, I just know they’re under the Mafia’s care and would do petty crimes like extortion, selling drugs and information, something like that. Why would Caden want to form a gang? He’s going to lead the Vaccarino group anyway. He couldn’t be that bored. Caden proved he had a lot of things going on for him since he’s been helping his father.

“Go to the school and clean up the mess there. I want Kelly and his group delivered to me tonight.”

I paled after remembering the conversation he had over his phone. I was too distracted to talk about it to Caden. He was planning to punish Kelly for what they did to me at school. They did hurt me and humiliated me, but it’s not enough for Caden to do something horrible to those people. There’s only one way he could punish them and it’s either he beats them into a bloody pulp, cut a finger or two, or worst, sell them off or kill them.

I gripped the wheel tight. I had to talk to Caden about it. They might be a part of his gang but involving them into something like that would cause an uproar. They still had parents who probably worry about them.

Besides, Kelly had a great future of being an athlete. He might be a douchebag, but he didn’t deserve whatever Caden’s going to do to him.

After all, teenagers do stupid things. He’s not exempted to that.

Uncle Milo brought us food. He sat in front of me, sliding the crunch wrap supreme towards my direction. I took it and began to unwrap the food, satisfied with how warm it was. Uncle Milo brought what he wanted; double tacos supreme. He looked pleased biting into the taco. As we ate at the busy restaurant filled with people minding their own business, I asked, “what do you know about the Vaccarinos?” I asked.

Uncle Milo lifted his head, eyeing me. “What? You’re curious about them too?”

“I got separated with Caden for two years. I don’t know what happened during those years,” I carefully explained, afraid I’d say something misleading. The last thing I wanted to happen was for uncle Milo to figure out my hidden feelings for my best friend. He’s too smart and perceptive, he could discover it if I choose the wrong words.

“I think you know the Vaccarinos are affiliated with us, the Saverios. They’re good in what they do, too good if I may say. It’s only because Arlo and Dom are friends that they haven’t taken us out yet.” I felt a shudder ran through my spine. Dad expressed his worries about the Vaccarinos and there’s a potential they could attack us if we weren’t careful. Yes, they’re friends but relationships in Mafia families doesn’t tend to last long. But over the years, uncle Dom proved he had no intention of taking the Saverios and claiming what we owned. They remained meek under the Saverios. I reckoned uncle Dom realized it’s better to have us as friends rather than enemies. The Saverios had been at the top for a long time. “We’re lucky we have the Vaccarinos as our allies.”

“Dad has been worried about them,” I said, voicing out what dad told about Caden’s family. “Do you think they’ll betray us?”

Uncle Milo looked straight into my eye, a smirk playing on his face. “I can’t answer that, Livio. Just make sure to keep an eye out for them.”

Uncle Milo said he had to go somewhere else after eating dinner with me. We parted ways at Taco Bell. I went back to my car and got in. I sat on the driver’s seat, pondering about what uncle Milo said. People made it clear how dangerous and powerful the Vaccarinos were. Uncle Milo wouldn’t say this he didn’t mean.

If only I could ask Caden and reassure myself that they wouldn’t end up betraying us. I might not be a part of the Mafia, but I couldn’t deny that I’m a member of the Saverios.

I held my phone and stared at Caden’s number registered in my contact list. I had a lot of questions for Caden, but everything was too hard to ask. I claim to be his best friend and yet I couldn’t be truthful with him.

The frown on my face was getting harder to hide. I wish I could change my fate. I didn’t want to be born into a Mafia family. What I wanted was a normal and peaceful life, as far as possible from the dangers of the life I was thrown in.

If only…Caden’s the same with me. We could have been childhood friends turned lovers. Oh, the number of books I had read with a plot like that—I couldn’t count. It’s frivolous to think that my dream was becoming Caden’s boyfriend, marry him and have a family with him.

I gasped out loud when my thumb involuntarily twitched, causing me to call Caden’s phone. It rang for a few seconds before I canceled it. My heart was racing as if I had a mini heart attack. I was too caught up thinking about the Vaccarinos, my family and my damn dream!

All of a sudden, my phone rang, and I ended up gasping again. I was surprised to see Caden calling me. God damn it! I wasn’t ready to talk to him!

Nevertheless, I answered his call. I wouldn’t miss an opportunity to hear his voice and talk to him. I’m so in love, it’s pathetic.

“Hello?” I nervously answered.

“What’s wrong? Why did you call me? Did something happen again?” he asked, barraging me with questions.

“No! I’m fine,” I said, guilty that I made him worry because of my stupid hand. “I just accidentally called you. I’m not in any trouble.”

Caden was silent for a second. “Good,” he muttered.

I looked at the time, realizing it was past seven in the evening. “Where are you?” I asked, bravely. My concern about Kelly and his friends was still in my mind and it wouldn’t go away until I convince Caden to stop his plans to punish them. “Are you with Kelly?”

“And why are you asking?” I was caught off guard. He sounded pissed of all of a sudden. It’s obvious he didn’t like me getting worried over the people who hurt me.

“I-I just think you shouldn’t do…anything to them,” I said, finally finding the courage to tell him the thing that had been bugging the whole day. “I know, they hurt me…but I don’t think they deserve punishment for that.”

Caden laughed but it was sarcastic. “Oh, come on, Livi,” he said, and I could see him rolling his eyes from how foolish I was for asking him to reconsider his decision. “They know what they did, and they know they deserved what I’m going to do them. They touched what’s mine.”

My eyes widened, stiffening. “W-what?”

“Everyone should know what the consequences are for touching you. And I’ll show them that you belong to me. Remember that, Livi.”

Caden hung up the phone, leaving me with my jaws wide open in disbelief.