01 : Vanessa's POV
This isn't how it is supposed to be, this isn't how it is supposed to feel. Everything was great — perfect in fact. Until everyone grew the sprout of anticipation which only led others to believe it was perfectly okay with judging others by the way they look.
A gentle hand of a delicate touch softly shook my body along with the motherly scent of cinnamon. The bed creaked slightly as she continued to gently shake me awake, although I've been awake the entire time. My eyes were closed tightly only allowing me to see the darkness behind the eyelids that gazed upon the hasty world.
I had just left the "home of judgment" and the last thing I wanted to do was return only to be bombarded with words of discouragement that only bloomed my insecurities towards my appearance.
"Mom, I don't want to go," I muttered into the soft pillow that disgustingly had my slobber plastered on the side of it. I can't help but feel informally spooked at what will take place tonight. Butterflies fluttered around in my stomach, I could even taste the expectancy of horror.
Usually, I can handle the verbal abuse from my classmates who yelled for me to be just as quintessential as they are. It was all the same for me "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" at times, that saying was somewhat true, but there was this guy — i've always had a crush on him, but when he spoke malicious words it made my ears throb and my heart beat slower until the thumping in my chest almost vanished beyond existence. He wounded me deeply and it struck me hard, my breathing were left unsteady. He is the dictator of my nightmares which crash down on me and straps me into my prison. His name is Lucifer Mariano.
Sadly, he is like a brother to my brother and my small family opens their rotten hearts wide open for him. My mother speaks of him as if he is some sort of saint and my brother worships the ground he walks on. Little do they know, he is nothing of the sort. He's as loud as the devil and does a good job at stealing the souls of many, even my own big brother.
Both Lucifer and my brother were called "inseparable".
Inseparability is a word that runs thin, for example when Lucifer failed his grade level — he changed. Lucifer is two years older than I, but somehow with his intelligence masked, he managed to fail a grade level. Leaving my brother to flap with his own wings and explore the world without the guidance of his best friend. They no longer were Lucifer and Xavier. They began talking to more people and even expanded their little group. So, basically, they are nothing but a simple acquaintance toward one another.
"Honey, you don't want to miss out on something like this. Many people are just dying to be in your shoes, now get your a** up and let's get you ready!" My mother declared while bursting out into a huge smile, she's just so beautiful and her aura was calming. She could invoke a small smile even on a statue's face.
With an agitated groan, I pull my blanket off of me and stood up to embrace the cold air. "That's my baby girl!" She contemptuously announced, "I will be right back, I left your dress in my bedroom." And with that, she left the room. Her big, bright smile never left her lips as she cheerfully ran out the room.
I allowed her to choose my dress due to my horrible taste in fashion. Standing up on wobbly feet, I get up from my comfy haven of blankets and pillows and sigh at the feather-like contact made on my feet as I walk on my pink rug.
The walk into the bathroom was short-lived, considering the fact that they are both connected by a tedious door, with no patterns at all, just a shady color. I flick the light on and waited for my eyes to get accustomed to the bright light before staring at myself in the mirror.
Everyone is right; You're nothing but a fat, ugly a** w***e.
The steam from the shower coaxed my skin, miraculously relaxing my tight muscles. Slowly, I disrobed my attire and didn't even stop to look at myself in the mirror, knowing that all it would do is leave an echo in my mind of the harsh words that will never be forgotten.
"I put your dress on your bed, honey!" I hear my mom shout from somewhere downstairs. Preparing myself for seeing the design of my dress, I inhale and head over to my butterfly comforter to see the beautiful attire which looks absolutely breathtaking. I pick it up with my fingers to get a closer examination of the wonderful fabric made in Paradise.
Quickly, I unzipped the back of the plus-sized dress and slid it on. It fit the top part of my body tightly while the skirt of the dress was much more of a flow. I looked in my mirror and removed the curlers that were in my hair, careful not to mess it up, and for once, I didn't look as ugly.
My long chocolate locks sprawled out on my back like a waterfall in small waves. With a smile, I slide into my uncomfortable black wedges and walk downstairs to greet my incredible mother. "Hi mom," I say with a smile and I plant a little kiss on her cheek. "Hi honey, I made you lu-" she turned around and broke out into a gasp. "You look beautiful, honey!" She exclaimed while pulling me into a tight bear hug which she normally gives everyone.
I noticed how she couldn't put both of her hands around me, and man that really stings my heart. "Thank you," I say with a pained smile. She pulls away with a huge smile on her gorgeous face and turns back around to continue cooking breakfast. "Hey mom, hey sis!" Xavier says entering the kitchen quickly giving me a hug.
"Hey X!" I say hugging him back. "Hi, honey!" My mom smiles as he kisses her cheek.
"You look beautiful, sis!" He smiles. Lie. I give him a pretended smile and leave the kitchen.
"I am heading out to school. I will see you guys there," I smile once again. Walking away, I feel my weakness— my heavy heart. I depart my home and stroll to my car, that I had gotten when I turned sixteen, and even though I have had this car for two years, no one is allowed to touch my baby.
I opened my car door and took a seat on the black leather that is currently very heated, and with my hand on the wheel, not even bothering to start the car, I feel numb. I feel the pain that took place every day of my life, I always get the awkwardness and the pity whenever I'm home, and at school, I get the anger and the hate.
I may be a 'crybaby' as some may think and say, but I infrequently cry. I don't like to bestow my pain amongst others. Shaking out of my thoughts, I roar my car to life, sensing her purr under my persona, which always sends shivers down my spine, crawling to my neck and front in just seconds.
Backing out on the highway, I slowly mentally prepare myself for what's going to come.
"Lucifer Mariano," the principal said on the microphone. From the corner of my eye, I saw the tall, muscular, fine as hell nightmare stand up with that emotionless expression he always has. His gray eyes are just so dark as if he has the darkest secrets, and for some odd reason, I want to find them out. His chocolate brown hair has my fingers itching to run through them, and his sharp jaw that could probably cut a diamond has me wanting to glide my finger over it.
He accepts his diploma and shakes the hands of the people that we were forced to shake hands with. Sensing my gaze, he winked at me and returned to his seat.
"Vanessa Voyce," The principal says with a big smile. I am going to miss our principal, Walker. He is one of my favorite people whom I talk to. As I was getting up from the hard, uncomfortable seat, I could hear the whisper from Jimmy, Lucifer's friend, speak followed by a snicker, "aka the fat b***h".
Everyone who heard it let out a chuckle quietly, all except for Lucifer. "Shut the f**k up, before I really give you something to laugh about," Lucifer whisper-shouted back, which stunned us all.
Hurrying up, I got up from my seat and accepted my diploma shaking the happy hands of the mandatory staff, "congratulations" is mainly what I received as my hands are scooped into others.
"Was that so bad?" Mom asked. As a reply, I shook my head with a smile. Xavier said he is going to the after-party which is supposed to be for seniors, and sadly, he will be taking my car since he came to this graduation with mom.
"I'm gonna miss you after these three months. I can't believe my baby has gotten a scholarship to Harvard!" She shouted. My mom has a bubbly personality, which I very much admire. She was always there with a smile on her face as soon as I opened my eyes. Even without a dad, she was always there every step of the way, fulfilling both roles. We stopped walking when we reached the car which was parked in the farthest corner.
"Oh, crap! I left my keys with your brother, stay here I will be right back," she commanded and ran off. Since they forgot to lock the doors, I pulled the passenger side door open only for a hand to close it quickly. I turned around to come face to face with those shady gray eyes which I long for.
"Vanessa," He purred out. He put his hands on my hips and connected mine to his while searching my eyes for something. Am I fantasizing?
He put his hands on my face and pulled me in closer to him. Why aren't you running away?
"Lucifer get awa-" just then soft lips connected to mine, taking my first kiss. He moved against my lips fierce, and rough as if trying to get a message through my head, sparks and tingles erupted all over my body as he pulled me even closer if that is indeed possible. I was clueless as to what to do so I just stood there, like an i***t. His hands started to go lower, and lower until he reached my bottom where he squeezed extremely hard. I let out a whimper due to the pain, and in that moment he shoved his tongue in my mouth, tasting and exploring, memorizing every corner of my wet cavern.
Seconds later, he pulled away. "You're mine, Vanessa. Don't let anyone touch you, kiss you, f**k you, or even look at you! Because I will kill them!" And with that, he walked away leaving me shocked as hell.
"Okay, sorry it took so long, your brother was looking for Lucifer," my mother said with a smile, and then she unlocked her door. I stood there with wide eyes with one thing hammering at my head with a knock off confusion; What?!
- 5 years later
"V, you are fine as hell. Why are you still single?" My best friend Rachel asked out of the blue as she finished counting the amount of money in the cash register.
You're mine, Vanessa. Don't let anyone touch you, kiss you, f**k you, or even look at you! Because I will kill them!
"Uh, no reason," I said quickly with a smile. She looked over at me and rolled her eyes "You're so," she did the slim-thick thing with the both of her hands "thick! Any guy will gladly f**k you!" She finished.
"Whatever, Rachel," I say with a smile. Rachel only talks about s*x, I can never relate to that topic because of my virginity is still intact, but she still rumbles about it as if I understand. She left the room for a little after her phone rang.
"I gotta go V, my sister is having her bachelorette party tonight. Do you mind closing up?" She asked as she came back. "Not at all, have fun!" I said. "Thank you, I love you so much," she quickly gave me a very long hug, and grabbed her purse, jacket and sprinted out of the door.
I started walking to the back of the coffee shop, but abruptly stopped when I heard movement. I quickly run to the back of the cafe to grab my purse and keys, to hurry up and get out of there.
Then, I felt someone grab me from behind and my vision blurred until black dots started to cloud my vision and the last thing I heard was;