THE OUTSIDER.

Life they say is not a bed of roses and I can testify to it.  There are times when I feel like the world is coming to an end, sometimes I think that tomorrow will be greater but all hope seems loss. Sometimes I think that there’ll never be a way out. For the tenth time, I look at my reflection in the mirror to see if I still need a touchup. That’s what I always do since I resumed work, since master always say “your appearance matters a lot”. I grabbed my purse and left the building, heading for the office. My name is Mercy Cruz, (I am 25) I am twenty five years old, I live with my dad in my country home. I have two younger siblings, Daniel and Martha, A boy and a girl. We live with our dad, our stepmom and her three kids. My mum is not dead, she’s not working either, I can’t tell if she’s alive or dead. But wherever she is, I pray that the Almighty God will protect her and bring her home, back to our lives. Studying and graduating from the university wasn’t easy at all. I worked hard to survive and still pay for my siblings school fees. Daniel got admission to study medicine and surgery, while Martha’s studying Mass Communication.   I graduated from the university eleven months ago and was lucky to get a job at EM’s Petroleum. Securing a job at EM’s is not an easy nut to c***k, but i got lucky. Maybe because my mother disappeared on my birthday, the exact day of my graduation, or because her spirit is guiding me. I don’t know how or why I got so lucky, but whatever it is, I am so grateful.                             EM’s Petroleum is an engineering company, it is one of the biggest engineering company in the world. It has many branches around the globe. Though I didn’t study engineering in the University, I was privileged to be employed as a (P.A) Personal Assistant at EM’s headquarters in New York. The company started in New York and traveled around the globe. I didn’t know why I got so lucky, but getting the position of a PA in New York is by the grace of God. I resumed work just as soon as I got the appointment letter, I packed up a few bags and left for the City that never sleeps. When I got to New York, I was surprised and dazzled at the city itself. It was nothing like my country home, where we have to fetch water from the streams, cook with firewood or kerosene stoves (those who cooked with kerosene stoves are considered rich), pay our taxes and electricity bills and still stay in darkness. New york city was nothing like my town where a family or group of six or five shares a room, it was nothing like my home where I share a room with my siblings or scoop up water with our bare hands when bathing. New York city is the glorious thing I’ve ever set my eyes on and I wasn’t ashamed of showing it. I work as Mr. Cameron Dallas’s Personal Assistant, I know that I am not qualified for it, I know that I do not deserve such positions but I got it and Mr. Dallas have been a good man. He lets me take a break with the rest, he doesn’t stress me or make me work from morning till dusk, no, he is not like that. Mr. Cameron Dallas is a good boss, maybe he have a dark side, but everyone has skeletons in their cupboards. He gives me extra cash and grants my salary discount loan. I didn’t know that I could get loans like that, until he told me that I can take a loan from the company to settle my debts and a part of it will be deducted from my salary until i have paid for everything, all I had to do is fill a form. Mr. Cameron Dallas is a good man with great personality, he has a good communication with his workers. There are times when he treats them to lunch, or dinner, well except me. He doesn’t like it when I chat with the workers, or eat with them. I do things only when he asks me to. Do not call me the good girl or the obedient one cause i am not. For every good thing master did for my siblings and I, I paid him back evil for good. I didn’t know it happened, I do not know why I did it but, it wasn’t intentional. Just like my mum used to say “we’re humans and we always makes mistakes”, I did something that I will always live to REGRET. It all happened on a Tuesday night, master and I had gone a business trip as usual, it was not our first trip neither was it our first time sharing a room on different beds but it was the first time we couldn’t control our hormones. I had laid down on my side of the en-suite when master’s call came in. I knew it has to be serious for he never calls me once it’s 9pm. When his call came in again, I had to answer, “come to my room” were the only words he said before he dropped the call. I was already changed for bed and didn’t have much time to dress up, so I wore my flip-flop and went to his room. I expected to see him working on his laptop or taking phone calls but no, he was on the bed with his hands besides him. “master you called me” i asked as I bowed a little in respect. “Yes please, join me”, he requested. I took off my foot wear and took the space besides him. One thing they say leads to another, from our small unusual talks to laughter and then back to total silence, the next thing I felt was master’s hands wrapped around my waist, his face was few inches away from mine. I wanted to stop him and push him away, I wanted to stop him or ask him to stop, but I couldn’t. I got carried away by my emotions and let him kiss me. It was my first kiss. When his lips touched mine, I felt sparks of electricity jolt through me. I didn’t know what it was and I didn’t want to know, all I had in mind was master’s soft lips. It was the softest thing I’ve felt my whole life. When I felt his hands going towards my breasts, I knew things were getting out of hands and I had to stop. I pulled away and dismissed myself. I went back to my side of the en-suite. Realization of what I did got to me as soon as I left master’s room. I realized I had kissed my master, I realized I had crossed the master-worker bridge. I enjoyed the kiss but I was regretting it, I had put my work in a hot seat. I took another warm bath and laid down to sleep.