A Letter Away From You

As if the mellow warmth of basking beneath the daylight wasn’t yet enough. You were there. You, along with your azure blue eyes that were seemingly locked with mine.  “The sun’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I chuckled softly, interrupting the sudden break of air between us. If only you could have a glimpse of the world through the ends of my dark solemn eyes.  You’d realize the only thing that sets you apart from the sun isn’t the one hundred fifty million kilometer distance, nor the countless mountains I’d have to scale just to reduce myself into ashes. But the mere fact that my own hands can intertwine with yours without the risk of scorching myself. Or so I’d thought. Indeed, this puny figure of mine was still intact from head to toe. The gusts of the winter’s moon still benumbed all my ten fingers it might shatter if it fell.  But something within me was tepid. Warm. Lukewarm. It became less temperate every tick and tock of our antique clock. And before I knew it, each and every valve of my heart ignited ablaze. Once, I laughed at Icarus. Dumb and careless, waltzed his new pair of wings thinking the bright yellow star would never tread on his shoulders. He fell down to his demise. Although I was no better than him. At the back of my mind, lingered a familiar statement of pure hypocrisy. ‘A touch wouldn’t hurt, right?’  Haha. What was more than just a touch, created the hell of a mess I am right now.  “You’re way too loud!” I frantically let out a whisper-shout. Numerous eyes quickly latched onto us. No ergonomic chair could match this wooden stool which might even support the entirety of a cow. But in a hurry, I trampled my comfortably cross-legged posture into a formal one. The stool almost dislodged. Come on, look away now. I was clumsy, but I also had a reputation to take care of.  We weren’t in a circus or songbirds who failed to hit the high notes in I Will Always Love You. Not that we ever will. But despite the breeze from the ragged air conditioner, sweat trickled down my neck as soft as the morning dew. Bookworms shuffling through their six inches tall Mathematics encyclopedias. Straight A freshmen rapping the whole periodic table of elements. Hunks who had more brawn over brains, exhibiting their casanova physique to the public. Duh, how proud of them. Of course, every corner of our library was jam-packed with students even in noon break.  “Are you that ashamed?” She muttered, releasing the set of papers she had been deafeningly announcing to the whole area. “Of what?!” “All this.” “Why would I be?” Almost fed up with her nonsensical teasing, I replied. “Because all this is just your college drama.” “What is that even supposed to mean?” I raised my eyebrows. To my right, I could make out the stature of an old woman on the qui vive. Sporting her signature floral headband, the librarian stamped a heavy gaze enough to lower the volume of our bickering. “See.” I mumbled, “That’s why I told you to never touch my drafts.” “Geez, you’re acting just like a baby.” She slicked her jet black hair behind her ear, fluttering those doe like gentle eyes.  Jasmine. She’d be fishing college jocks for lunch if it weren’t for me. If at some point in my life I end up living in the streets, she’d pick me up and treat me to some orange chicken. If I would ever need a kidney, she might even offer hers. A best friend, some might say. To me, it seems that since from the womb we were destined to argue like Cristina and Meredith.  Once again. The atmosphere, almost like hunters eyeing down their defense-less prey, transitioned to the usual depth of pale silence. I narrowed my legs across the other, my typical cozy stance. Leaning back, I snatched the other end of my shaggy brown hair curling it to a ponytail. If tying hair had had its own Michelin stars, I would have a few. I was relieved. More like an escaped convict from the island of Alcatraz. Maybe I was overreacting. Still, I couldn’t afford to lose my hard-earned status just for the silly reason of screaming at the library. After all, I’m just one year away from my English Literature Degree. “Faye.” A whisper broke me out of my trance. As how you would make a baby fall asleep, Jasmine bent forward.  Lessons learned, huh?  “Yes? Still haven’t had enough making me a celebrity?” I stared at her with a somewhat sarcastic tone. Reflected in her lens was a sorry excuse of a human being. She took off her perfectly round spectacles, which she’s been purposely wearing to mock my blind retinas as compared to her twenty twenty one. I couldn’t stand those teary eyes peeking right through my soul, but I just giggled it all off. “What are you going to do, it’s almost the 6th.” She croaked at me, scanning through the pages of my unfinished pieces. The 6th, I paused. The 6th episode of Grey’s Anatomy? -- The 6th day of our culminating activities? Just what exactly is the 6th?  “What 6th, Jas?” I reached out for my papers, preventing a hysterical scandal like before. The scent of summery orange Sunkist splashed as she was taking a sip of her drink. “The 6th of the 6th of the year Faye.” She buzzed warily, “June 6th.”  A few pictures rolled back in my mind, one after another. Scenes that I presumably boxed in a shut section of my hippocampus. Different colors, every single component of the visible spectrum you can name. They all splattered in front of me. Bliss. Euphoria. Joy. My mind’s palette was mixed with all the collection of my carefree moments--- All of a sudden, my picturesque memory became dull. The sky was brimmed with stars, but no moon to be found. It wasn’t all laughter and happiness.