opia [h.s au]

Chapter 24

I didn't even notice the streets passing by through the windows of the cab, my mind completely lost in thoughts of Harry.

What the f**k did just happen?

Jesus, I'm still a hot mess from what he did to me, I have a lingering feeling in my lips where his fingertips touched and all I want is to feel him again.

I debated with myself for the entire way to the club, considering to just cancel on Callum, go back to Gemma's apartment and demands that Harry finishes what he started.

What makes me the most angry is that I know no matter how much fun I may have tonight with Callum, it will never be half as good as it would be with Harry. It's not only because of the amazing chemistry or the way I'm so horny for him, but also because Harry and I can talk. We connect on a different level, the conversation rolls naturally and it's easy to keep up with it. All the times Harry and I wasn't teasing each other and actually just talking, it was great.

I hate to admit that he attracts me not only physically but also intellectually. I like the way he thinks and the stories he has to share always have me sneering.

However, in the end I convinced myself to come to this damn club and meet Callum, so here I am. I feel kinda bad for being so glum about this night, Callum is actually a great guy and he has been very respectful to me so far.

To be honest he respected my more than Harry, if you really think about it.

Harry is always very straightforward and I think it could be considered some kind of s****l misconduct if it weren't for the fact I actually liked it very much.

The music in this club is loud and I can feel the ground vibrating under my feet. The atmosphere here reminds me of Sinner, as if I needed something to keep reminding me of Harry. I look around, searching for Callum and I don't take long to recognize his group of friends.

Three tall, large, tattooed men are leaning against the bar, two of them talking with enthusiasm while the third one is gazing over the people, his jaw slack shut. I don't understand why Callum is always so serious but damn, the look suits him very well.

I fight my way towards them, passing through sweat bodies that are dancing to the sick beat beaming around this closed space and f**k, I hate clubs. I can't even hear my own thoughts in here.

Actually this may be something good. 

"Billie!" Callum greets me as I finally reach him and before I could do something about it, he snakes his strong arms around my waist, pulling me closer and kissing my lips "You're finally here!"

His voice doesn't sound demanding or sarcastic but I kinda don't like the low key complaint about me being late. I mean he wasn't waiting for me alone, his friends are here and if he actually wanted me to arrive early, he could've pick me up at my apartment.

Ok, I know I sound a little too defensive right now. Maybe I am overreacting a bit.

"Guys, this is Billie, the girl I've been talking about" Callum beams over the two guys next to us and they turn their gazes on me.

"Hi" I give them a coy smile, suddenly feeling shy. Callum has been talking about me?

"Hey you" The blond guy with long hair smiles at me "So you're the girl who works at a fashion producer?"

"Actually is not a fashion producer. It's an audiovisual producer and I happen to be the fashion executive there." I shrug.

"But you must have the best contacts in the field" the other guy, who have black hair and looks kinda intimidating with his bright blue eyes, raises his eyebrows.

"I guess..." I try to sound nonchalant, turning my gaze back to Callum who is handing me a gin and tonic. "Thank you" I smile.

"You're welcome. So, how have you been?" Callum asks, taking a sip from his water.

Wait, water?

Looking into the hands of the other two guys, I notice they're both drinking water as well. That's strange, I mean, we are in a freaking nightclub after all.

"Why are you drinking water?" I blurt out before I could control myself.

"Alcohol is just a lot of empty calories" Callum shrugs "Gotta avoid that to keep the body on point."

"Oh..." I try not to frown over his comment. I mean sounds pretty lame not to drink on a Saturday night because of some diet only for the aesthetics.

I know I'm not the greatest source of healthy choices but come on, life is more than just appearance, I will never understand people who give up of having a little fun just because it might not be good for the muscles or whatever.

I mean, if you have a health problem or really need to lose weight for some reason, I will stan you completely. But not eating or drinking something just because of aesthetics is just dumb. At least for me it is, life is too short to say no to a f*****g drink at a Saturday night.

"Well thank you for the gin" I smile to Callum "love my empty calories."

"Oh that's okay, love." Callum winks at me, his British accent way thicker than Harry's and Gemma's "I mean, you're not a model, you don't need to be the best version of yourself all the time. You look good as you are."

Wait, did he just low key affirmed I'm not modeling material? I mean, I am fully aware of that but it's not very kind of him to point this out right to my face.

Seems like I'm gonna need way more alcohol tonight.

~*~

Not even the two shots of tequila helped me endure such a boring conversation. I don't understand why Callum and his friends would choose a place like this one to hang out if all they wanted to do is talk. I mean, they're yelling at each other and it's hard to keep up.

In the other hand, I'm kinda glad I haven't been able to keep up with whatever their conversation is, I'm sure I've heard the words workout, dairy and gluten free for a f*****g lifetime.

When Callum and I went to dinner, the conversation was kinda flat, but interesting for the most of the time. Of course I did most of the talking, but he seemed really interested in what I had to say and even shared a little of himself. However, among his friends he turns to a workout maniac and trust me, no matter how f*****g handsome he is, this is such a turn off for me.

Every once in a while Callum would stop talking to the guys, asking me if I'm alright and trying to include me in their conversation, but every single time I've tried to participate they didn't understand my jokes or references so at this point I just given up, focusing on getting my ass drunk instead.

I did notice some judging glares from they but I don't give a f**k.

Well to be honest I don't even understand what I'm still doing here, this night is such a failure and I really can't stop thinking about Harry and the way he acted before I left Gem's apartment. I will never understand him, will I? He is always surprising me with his actions but I came to realize I don't f*****g care.

As long as he is around, I don't care for his mood changes. I just wanna be close to him again.

"Hey, love, why are you so quiet tonight?" Callum asks, pulling me out of my own mind when he snakes his arm around my waist and pulls me closer to his body.

"I don't think I have too much in common with your friends" I answer him honestly, the alcohol loosening my tongue.

"It's a shame Dom couldn't come tonight" Callum says in my ear and his voice sounds very British but not as deep and raspy as the one I want to hear right now.

"Yep" I pop out the "p", completely unable to stop myself. I'm so f*****g bored. "Think I'm gonna use the bathroom, be right back" I give him a peck in the lips just because I kinda feel like I should and step away from him.

Entering the bathroom  I reach for my phone in the pocket of the jacket and f**k, it's not even midnight yet! I feel like I've been here for a f*****g lifetime but actually it was just two hours.

Well, I just can't do this anymore.

Callum may be beautiful and kind, he may be a very sweet guy, but I can't be another hour or two here listening to his conversation with those two douche bags. I gotta get away from here, fast, before I die out of boredom.

I take my phone again, now typing a quick message to Dom and waiting for his response, muttering a silent prayer for the Gods I don't believe in to make Dom actually look at his phone, he is not usually a heavy user of technology.

But someone must have heard me because it take only a few minutes till my phone buzzes, announcing a message.

Billie Ray

Sent 11:37 pm

SOS

Dominic Moore

Received 11:43 pm

What happened? Are you ok?

Billie Ray

Sent 11:44 pm

This date thing with Callum sucks, I'm dying out of boredom. Are you still at Gemma's?

Dominic Moore

Received 11:45 pm

Yeah want me to pick you up?

Billie Ray

Sent 11:47 pm

Please.

Dominic Moore

Received 11:50 pm

Text me the address, be there in like 10.

Sighing with relief, I put my phone back in my pocket and look at myself in the mirror. I'm still looking good, but my eyes are kinda tired. However, I can't ignore the butterflies in my stomach with the possibility of seeing Harry again tonight.

I go back to Callum, who is still talking to his friends and barely even notice that I'm back. No surprises here. Tugging on the hem of his shirt, I force a little smile when he looks down at me, a faint smile playing on his lips.

"Hey you" He greets me. "Took you long enough."

"There was a line in the bathroom" I lie, shrugging "So listen, I think I'm heading home now."

"Already?" Callum raises his eyebrows "You barely even got here!"

"Sorry, I'm just so tired" I fake a yawn "This week was really intense at work."

"Hmm, that's ok" Callum pulls me to a hug and whispers in my ear "I would love to spend more time with you tonight, though... Want me to take you home?"

'No, you should stay with your friends" I may have answered him too f*****g fast but I don't care right now, I just wanna go.

"Maybe next time" He smiles, pecking my lips one more time.

Ha-ha, as if.

There's not going to be a next time.

And it's not even because this night was boring or that watching Callum talking to his friends about such superficial subjects turned me off, but actually because I don't think it's fair for me to be kissing him and thinking about another guy.

As much as I hate to admit it, Harry's little plan of making me obsess about him this night worked out just fine, but to be honest, he doesn't leave my mind half of the time anyway, so joke is on him.

My phone buzzes and it's Dom announcing he just arrived. Giving a quick goodby to Callum's friends, whose names I already forgot, I rush towards the door, sighing in relief when the cold air of the night hits my face and there's no beaming sound to make my ears bleed.

Dom's car is parked right in front of the night club and I'm quick to hop up, giving him a little hug.

"Thank you so much, I was so bored" I roll my eyes "Sorry for interrupting your game night with Gem and Harry. Do you want to go back there?"

"No, actually you kinda saved me too" Dom sighs.

"Why? Were the games boring? You were with Gemma, dickhead!" I giggle.

"No, we actually didn't get to play at all." Dom sighs "Before I tell you, would you come with me to a pub so we can have a beer?"

"Of course, you just saved me, I owe you this".

Dom quickly finds a pub nearby the night club and in less than ten minutes we're sitting at a table with two pints of beer in front of us.

"Tell me what happened" I frown, utterly curious.

"So after you left, Harry was like pissed off" Dom rolls his eyes "Don't know what happened but he was suddenly in such a sour mood, he didn't even said a word after practically throwing the Scrabbles board over Gemma and I and locking himself back in his room."

I swallow hard, my heart actually shrinking with worry for Harry. His mood changes are really hard to keep up with but this time I may have had something to do with it.

"Gem was all worried about him and although we tried to play, her mind was elsewhere. But it just got worse when Harry announced he was going out and I swear to you, Billie, Gem actually begged him not to but he simply walked out and smashed the door behind him" Dom's squints his eyes and although my heart is racing with worry, I can't ignore how worked up he is with the fact someone disrespected Gemma.

"Oh, God.. But what happened? What triggered that behavior?" I raise my eyebrows, not even trying to hide my concern.

"I don't f*****g know. There's something happening with that guy, Billie, it's not normal to have such intense mood swings out of the blue like that. And he was so disrespectful to Gemma, yelling at her. She spent the rest of the night so worried about him she actually drink a whole bottle of wine and passed out on the couch."

"You left her there?" I raise my voice "f**k, Dom!"

"No, of course not. I actually took her to her room, helped her get into her PJs and put her to sleep. I was trying to figure what to do with myself when you texted."

Awww, I think my heart is floating. I can't believe Dom was so f*****g caring with Gem, it makes me wanna puke.

"But Harry hadn't come back when you left?" I ask Dom, trying to figure out what the f**k happened to Harry. "And did Gemma tell you anything about what the f**k is going on with him?"

"No, she just kept saying it is not her place to tell. But I'm telling you, Billie, I don't think Gem will be capable of dealing with whatever the f**k is going on with Harry right now, I think she needs us more than she knows to deal with her brother. Dude is so f*****g awkward."

I sigh, taking a sip from my beer, my mind going a hundred miles per second while I try to understand what Dom just told me. What happened to Harry? Before I left he was just fine, I mean, he was teasing me with a f*****g smirk on his lips, what in hell could've happened to flip his mood like that?

What if I have something to do with that? What if he was expecting me to act different? Was he expecting me to cancel on Callum and spend the time with him? I mean I would gladly do that if Harry wasn't so damn confusing all the time, I never know what he wants.

"What happened between the two of you before you head out?" Dom asks me "I know you two f****d before and he bailed on you but something else happened between you two?"

Before I could even think about it, I find myself telling everything to Dom. I tell him all the ups and downs that has happening between the two of us, mentioning all the double sided and awkward conversations we had on out last interactions. Dom's eyebrows are raising so high they're almost reaching for his hairline and he is drinking every word that falls from my mouth.

Although I told Dom about that date with Harry and how great it was to have s*x with him, after Harry went MIA for a month I just stopped talking about it with my best friend. Guess I felt a little ashamed for still be thinking about Harry with such frequency, and after what happened to Gem all Dom and I talk about is her.

"f**k, I've been a shitty friend for you, haven't I?" Dom asks when I finally stop talking "You could've told me all of that before so I could help you figure him out, this guy is such a mess!"

"I don't think that there's something you could do about it, boo" I shake my head, sighing "It's just the way it is... I have a hot guy wanting me but somehow I'm stuck to the crazy one".

"Who is also hot as hell" Dom chuckles "Let's just hope everything will be ok... And Billie?"

"What?"

"I think I know why Harry was so pissed... He was jealous of you."

I almost choke with my beer, flipping Dom off while I chuckle. "As if, if he was he would have said something about it... Like asking me to stay."

"Well, I guess he couldn't just say that to you but he made it pretty obvious with his actions, didn't he?"

~*~

Dom and I spent another hour or so talking at the pub and I have to say it was great to have such a great conversation with my best friend. I was missing it more than I realized.

It's great to have a male perspective over Harry's awkward attitudes and Dom is convinced Harry is nursing the same confusing feelings about me that I have for him. Although I was over the top with the possibility, Dom didn't seem so happy about it and when I asked him why, he gave me a really long speech.

About how much he thinks Harry and I are made for each other in some level, that our kind of connection doesn't just happens and it's something very hard to find. Dom said it's pretty obvious, just by looking at the two of us, how much we connect and function together. But he also alarmed me about all the things I already had in my mind.

Harry is a confusing guy, he is not someone that can be trusted. It doesn't look like he knows or admits to himself that he may be hooked to me, and also he has so much going on in his life he probably isn't happy about having another thing to be concerned about.

Dom's theory is that Harry knows exactly how f****d up he is and that he likes me enough to know he is no good for me, and that's why he is trying to keep his distance. However, it's hard as f**k to resist his impulses so that's why he is always transiting between being distant or too f*****g close to me, not ever reaching a mid therm.

I don't know if I agree with everything Dom said, but I know that at some level he is right. Everything he said makes sense, but I don't f*****g know what to do about it. I'm exhausted of the mental gymnastics I have every time I see or think about Harry and that, added to all the alcohol I had tonight is enough to make my head dizzy.

Dom left my at home like twenty minutes ago and after a quick shower I slipped into my hobo clothes and under my comforter, ready to watch Brooklyn 99 and drink some chamomile tea. Today has been an intense one and for now my mind is racing to much for me to be able to sleep soon. I need to slow down and distract myself from the worrying thoughts about what Harry might be doing right now.

I mean, I did met him at a nightclub and dry humped him hard at the same night, so I guess this is probably what he must be doing right now at Sinner or some other random club. And I know it isn't fair because I was out with Callum earlier tonight but the thought of Harry with another person makes me feel sick with jealousy.

I'm kinda worried because I know for a fact he shouldn't been drinking, but let's be realistic here, Harry has been traveling alone for five years or so, he knows how to take care of himself. I don't know if he should be drinking, based on what Gemma said about him, but he is an adult. He can make his own choices.

Maybe Gem is just overreacting because she is his older sister and she feels responsible for him. But well, maybe I just don't know what I'm f*****g talking about.

I giggle at the TV, taking a sip of my hot tea as I feel my shoulders finally releasing some of the tension and my body starts to relax a little. One or two more episodes and I think I'll be able to sleep.

I feel my mind slipping off through my fingers as I lay down, adjusting myself on the bed to the most comfortable position I can find, turning the TV volume down so I can just drift off to sleep without any agitation.

There's a continuous series of low beats that seems fading from the reality and the rhythmic sound adjusts perfectly to my breath.

Inhaaale... knock knock... Exhaaaale. Knock-inhale. Knock-exhale.

A loud knock makes my soul jump out of my body and I jolt on the bed, my heart slamming hard against my rib cage when I realize the knocks come from my front door. What the f**k?

The knock continue, louder this time, and I jump from the bed. Maybe something happened to Mr. and Mrs. Wilson?

Fumbling with the comforter and oversized clothes, I run to the living room, trying not to fall face first in the ground because of the amount of fabric dancing around my feet. Luckily I reach my front door alive and well, my heart still racing as I slam the door open.

But it's not any of my 80 years old neighbors.

Leaning against the door frame and looking hammered as f**k, is Harry. His green eyes are bloodshot red and his usually perfect hair looks greasy, but when his gaze meets mine he smirks and f**k, it's still a breathtaking sight.

"Harry, what are you doing here?" I ask with urgency and I can't help but notice how he seems to be kind of swinging over his feet.

"Can I come in?" Harry asks, his raspy voice sounding hoarse and even with the distance I can smell the alcohol in his breath.

"Of course."