opia [h.s au]

Chapter 25

I step aside, opening the way for Harry to come into my home.

"Where is he?" He asks, as soon he is inside and I close the door behind us, frowning and completely baffled with the fact that Harry is actually here.

"Where is who?" Raising my eyes I follow him inside while he walks around my apartment, looking at the kitchen, then at the bathroom and then heading to my room. "Harry! What the fuck." I snap.

"Where is Cole, I know you're with him!" Harry barks at me, actually bending on his knees to look under my bed and I can't help but snort.

He looks like a damn child playing hide and seek.

"Callum is not here, Harry, get off the floor would you?" I take a step towards Harry, taking his arm and pulling him up. It's evident how drunk he is when he actually let me do almost all the job of getting him up.

"I know you were with him tonight. Did you go to a hotel?" Harry looks around one more time, his bloodshot eyes sparkling with anger and I notice a vein popping on his neck. "Or did he f**k you and leave? He looks like the kind of guy who would do that."

Ok, that's enough.

"Like you did?" I blurt out, venom dripping from my voice "Calm the f**k down, Harry, Callum isn't here nor did I f**k him. And if I had, that's none of your business."

Harry suddenly stops his movements, probably taken aback by how angry my voice sounds, I'd never talked to him like that. He turns his head for me and gives me a once over, paying attention to how I am dressed, his eyes taking a second longer over my chest area and I squirm, crossing my arms over my stomach.

"Were you sleeping? It's like 2 am!" Harry looks surprised and sits on the edge of my bed uninvited.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be sleeping?"

"What about your date with Cole?" Harry raises his eyebrows, his wobbly eyes pinning on mine but seems like he is having a hard time to focus on my face, so he squint his eyes a little.

"What the f**k are you doing here, Harry?"

"Couldn't take my mind off of you!" Harry snaps angrily, his expression hardening while he grabs his hair with his hand, pulling the roots "Couldn't take the image of you f*****g him out of my head, it was driving me f*****g insane!"

I stay completely silent, my heart racing so damn fast inside of my rib cages I'm surprised it didn't just jump out of my mouth right now. I'm utterly shocked by his words and feels like my brain has been replaced for a cotton ball - I can't think straight, I don't even think I'm breathing properly right now.

"Why are you always in my f*****g mind?" He sounds frustrated and his lips turn up to a smirk that is completely stripped of happiness. "I can't even f*****g sleep without dreaming about you all the time" Harry mutters under his breath.

Gulping, I feel my mouth going dry as I search for something to say to him, but I don't know what could I possibly say without exposing myself too much. I don't think I will ever be able to be that vulnerable again, to just open up and let people see exactly what I'm feeling, but at the same time I can't ignore how much my stomach is fluttering and my heart is racing over Harry's words. 

He continues to look at me and suddenly the silence between us feels too damn unbearable. The air is thick and it's like there's a lot of unspoken things surround us, ready to be said but feels like any of us have the guts to do so. I know I don't.

I watch as he slowly covers his face with his hands, rubbing his eyes before letting a long sigh escape from his lips. "f**k" he mutters, putting his hands down and looking completely lost in his own thoughts.

Suddenly he jolts from the bed, quickly moving towards me and I don't even have time to think before Harry grabs both my shoulders and pushes me, making me walk backwards until my back hits the cold wall behind me. His eyes are glistening and his cheeks are red. Once again the smell of alcohol on his breath hits my face and I try to look away, but it's impossible to escape from his gaze, it's like my eyes are glued to his.

"Can't stop thinking about how you felt when I was inside you" Harry groans, towering above me and leaning his head a little so his nose touches mine "Can't stop thinking about the taste of your lips... I'm obsessed with you".

I know I'm completely cross eyed right now but I can't help it, I feel like a rabbit trapped by it's predator. Can't move, can't think straight, it's like I'm fully paralyzed and all I can do is inhale a deep breath.

Good, at least my lungs are still functioning.

"Why can't I forget about you?" Harry asks, now touching my forehead with his and sighing "It's been more than a month and you're still all that I can think about."

Taking another deep breath, I finally manage to answer him, my tongue feeling strange and out of place for how dry my mouth is. "You're just horny, Harry, let it go" My voice sounds hoarse and filled with disbelief.

"Don't you think I thought about that?" He chuckles bitterly "Don't you think I haven't try to f**k other girls, or that I haven't jerked off countless time thinking about you? Because I did. I spent the last f*****g month trying to get over you."

I gasp with his straight to the point words, my heart skipping a beat and it's I just can't believe this is happening right now. Harry is only saying all this stuff because he is hammered, I'm sure of that.

"You're drunk, Harry" I try to reason with him "Let's get you a cup of tea and something to eat so you'll feel better."

I try to move but Harry doesn't oblige, still trapping my body with his, his eyes glued to mine. "Yeah I'm drunk but I'm not lying" He says stubbornly, cupping my face with one of his hands and for a split second I just close my eyes, letting myself enjoy his touch for a bit.

"Sure." I roll my eyes, ignoring the flash of hurt behind his eyes. "Let me go, Harry." Putting both my hands on his large chest, I push him away and Harry finally obliges, taking a step back and almost falling to his butt. "Come with me." I sigh, leaving me bedroom and thankfully Harry follows me with faltering steps.

Fumbling my shaking fingers over the counter top of the kitchen, I put some water to boil with ginger and lime then dig up some leftovers of my yesterday's dinner so I can heat something for Harry on the microwave.

He watches me, his tongue running on the inside of his cheek, eyes frowning and body a little wavering while he leans against the kitchen counter, both arms crossed over his stomach.

Less than five minutes later I'm shoving a plate with mashed potatoes and meatballs towards Harry, giving him a modest look while I mutter "Eat it." before turning my back for him again and going back to watch the lime ginger tea that started to boil.

Harry eats in silence, his eyes now glued to the place in front of him. When he finishes, I give him a cup of water and he drinks it right away, muttering a little "thank you" under his breath.

"Tea is almost ready, why don't you go rest for a bit while it cools off a little?" My voice sounds soothing and it surprises me that I'm suddenly feeling so calm. "I'll just text Gemma to tell her you're alright and you can crash on my couch tonight."

Harry nods, guilt flashing behind his arms and he presses his full pouty lips to a thin line, looking ashamed and confused now that his sudden angry outburst seems to have extinguished.

"I'm just gonna use the loo..." He grumbles, standing up and taking more faltering steps towards my bathroom.

Putting his dirty dishes over the sink, I take my phone that's charging over the kitchen counter to text Gemma - I know she is probably asleep right now but she will be happy to hear about Harry when she wakes up.

There's a message from Callum inviting me to have dinner with him tomorrow, but for now I leave it on "read". I'm cannot deal with it right now. Typing a quick message to Gem, I let her know Harry is crashing on my couch and that he is fine, expecting it to be enough to calm her down.

Then I go back to the stove, turning it off and filling a mug with the ginger tea I just made for Harry, sweetening it up with a little of honey, my collected movements contrasting with my racing mind.

I can't pretend that Harry coming here in the middle of the night, hammered and talking s**t about Callum is just a drunken act. I saw the way he looked at me, and I almost forgot how to breathe when he said exactly how I've been feeling over the past couple of weeks - completely unable to forget about the way he feels, how he tastes and how much I f*****g want him.

But there's a huge difference between Harry and I right now, and it is pretty obvious - he is drunk, I'm not. Meaning that while I'm capable of admitting this feelings being sober, he had to drank his ass off so he could say it to me.

When Harry is sober, he teases and plays games with me, he provokes and makes me feel completely lost and under his control. He likes to play, to make me squirm, to knock the wind out of my chest with his dirty mouth and addicting touches.

Sober Harry would never seem so vulnerable like drunk Harry just did. Sober Harry would never in a million years drop his mysterious demeanor to open up and be honest about his feelings.

Although maybe I should be happy with Harry confessing how he feel about me, I have a lump in my throat that refuses to go away and I feel in my heart that s**t is going to hit the fan sooner rather than later and I'll be left behind in a sobbing mess.

Because even though drunk Harry may have been sincere and vulnerable, sober Harry is not. This is just temporary.

Taking the mug of hot tea, I walk towards my room, wondering if Harry already did his business on the bathroom or if he maybe passed out over the toilet. Jesus, imagine how hard it would be for me to carry his drunk body to my couch... I'll probably just leave him there on the floor.

However, the bathroom door is open and Harry is nowhere to be seen. Did he flee again? I shouldn't be so surprised, but I'm actually kinda angry over this possibility. "...Harry?" I ask for him but only silence greets me.

Son of a b-

Wait. Looking down at the floor, I see some clothes that aren't mine tittering the entrance of my room. There's black jeans, tan boots and the white t-shirt Harry was wearing. Oh please God don't let him be naked in my room, I don't have enough strength, please, God, I'm begging you.

Holding my breath, I finally enter the room and my heart flutters inside of my chest with the sight in front of me.

Wearing only his black boxers, Harry is completely pass out on my bed, laying on his back and snorting lightly. Maybe the view should make me angry, I mean now that he is laying on my bed where the f**k will I sleep? And I made this f*****g tea just to be ignored by him?

However, I giggle a little to myself as I step further, looking at Harry's angelic face that is full asleep right not. He looks like a little child, his pink lips pouting and his cheeks a little red, his long hair a curly mess around his head.

I know I'll probably regret my decision tomorrow, but right now I don't f*****g care. Without putting too much think on it, I put the mug of tea over the nightstand, lifting my comforter up just to snuggle under it and beside Harry, feeling the warmth oozing from his body. I turn off the bedside lamp, sighting loudly as I make myself comfortable beside him, turning my back to his body.

Honestly I don't expect to be able to sleep tonight, if my mind was running before now it's a f*****g chaos and I know for a fact there's nothing I can do about it now.

When I woke up this morning, my main concern was if I should use my hair curly or straight to my date night with Callum, and I wondered it I would be able to kiss him without thinking of Harry. Never in a million of years I would imagine that I was going to come back to my bed with company, let alone said company being Harry.

Life is funny.

And hard as f**k to keep up with.

Surprisingly I feel my mind slowly drifting off to sleep, apparently there's no amount of mental gymnastics capable of making me lose my sleep but I guess it's just because I'm really, really exhausted.

"M'Tired of fighting against myself" Harry's voice breaks the silence in the room and I freeze when I feel his hand sneaking around my waist "M'Tired of trying to stay away from you."

Harry yanks my body until my back is touching his firm chest and I can feel his warm breath hitting the back of my neck. He press his lips on my shoulders gently, with so much care that seems like he is afraid of breaking me with his touch.

"Just want to be close to you" He mumbles in the dark and my breath catches on my chest, it's like the air is frozen inside of my lungs "I have never come across someone like you in my life, you intoxicates me, it's like you were the piece of myself I didn't know was missing" His voices is so quiet now I don't know if he is talking to me or to himself, but every word that falls from his lips feels like a punch in my feelings.

"Please let me be close to you" He begs, pressing my body against his and for the first time there's nothing s****l about his actions, it just feels like no closeness is enough, feels like he wants to melt my body to his and I'm not ashamed to admit that I would happily oblige to that. "Please, let me stay. Do you want me to stay?"

Silence fills the atmosphere one last time before I take in a deep breath, saying those four letters that I know will come back to bite me in the ass eventually, but at this point there's nothing I can do to fight the overwhelming feelings taking over my heart.

"Stay" I sigh, my voice quivering with emotion and feels like my heart is about to explode.