GAMMA ADONAI

Chapter 9

BALQIS’S POV

I wasn’t a normal person again. It felt like my life has been stolen from me after we left the orthodontist.

Everything I did, my mind was only on one person. That same person was always in my dream, haunting me with beautiful scenes that I can never imagine to have in real life.

If there’s anything I regret in my entire life, then it was the day I walked with my two legs to Adonai’s home.

I had to deal with not only the pregnancy as controlling family, now with the trauma that he’s alive or maybe a look alike?

The man that I saw at the doctor’s place was Adonai no doubt about him. I thought I had forgotten his face, or maybe I mistook it, but it’s him.

Adonai is alive, and not dead. But why is he finding me stealthily?

I really wanted to clutch his dress and ask him countless questions, demand the reason why he was alive, but he disappeared on me again.

“Don’t try to find that man, it might put yours and your baby’s life in danger” That was what the doctor told me when I asked him how he knew Adonai.

In the days after, my life was never the same because I couldn’t understand anything anymore.

It felt like I was loosing myself. I even went to the club, but he didn’t appear again and this only added to my trepidation.

Two weeks passed since I’d seen Adonai’s face at the hospital.

I asked my stepmom for my income again and this time, she lied that she hasn’t collated the accounts.

I waited for two days, expecting her to collate the accounts but she said nothing.

I thought, looking at the account book myself will do, instead if waiting till forever.

I pretended that I was sleeping so she could go to the club alone that evening.

When she was gone, I stealthily went to her room. Thankfully, I’m the one that does all house chores, even when Nirvana was still here, so no one could rat me out.

It took nothing less than thirty minutes until I successfully sashayed through her closet ans got the account book.

I hesitated for a while, what if I don’t meet what I was expecting?

But then, on the second thoughts, seeing is believing so I opened the book and flip the pages through the past year and months earning.

My heart sank, goosebumps of shock and petrification licked my skin, and I felt like I just arrived from hell.

I’d flipped the book to this year’s earning and what I’m seeing right here, is dar from what I was expecting..

“This cannot be true right?” I asked myself aloud, and flipped the pages again, maybe what I was looking for was at the back page, but to my surprise, I saw nothing.

“This is not true, right!!!?” I asked myself again, trying to calm myself that I must have seen it wrong.

“No. No.” I denied it. I must have picked the wrong book so I rushed to the closet again, and scattered everything there but found unnecessary books and not another account book like I was expecting.

I ran madly through my heavy condition to the living room and fell down, ignoring the pain.

All my suffering, All the forced laughter, All the dancing through heavy time, All the pain I endured whenever my baby was kicking during a show — is all gone.

Gone— Gone to where? Because nothing was written in the account books!!

Just dates and empty log rows and columns!!

I yelled with pain. “No! No!” I kept assuring myself and got off the floor to get dressed. Perhaps, she was writing this year’s earning in another book.

I dressed hastily, take the account book with me, and flagged a cab to the club.

Arriving there, she was standing at the bar counting and counting cash again, and I ignored the hungry men that jeered at me.

“My favorite pregnant stripper, why not on the pole tonight?”

I stood before her and knocked at the table to gain her attention.

She looked up at me, “Oh you’re here? Could you please supervise the guys at the store? Let them bring 5 packs of…”

“Mum I need to ask you something” I demanded.

“Get the pack of beers first, Balqis” she yelled over the blaring sound from the DJ.

Only if she knew shocked I am right now. I dashed to her side and took her hand, “Come with me”

I managed to pull her to another side and pulled out the log book from the bag I was carrying.

She gasped and snatched the book from me, “What have you be doing behind my back, Balqis?”

“Where are my earnings, Mum?” I asked not minding her fake innocent gasp.

“I’m asking where did you get this from? Who gave you’re the right to open my room?” She yelled harshly.

Seeing her reactions like this only mean one thing — she didn’t want me to see whatever that was inside!

“Mum!!” I yelled. “Where are my earnings?”

She didn’t answer me for a while, she stared at me deeply, for a long time as if contemplating whether to tell me or not. “Have you opened this book?” She asked.

I arched a brow, “Mum!! That’s not what I’m asking”

Her once relaxed tobe changed to something else— wicked and sarcastic as she replied, “If you’ve opened it, then that means you’ve walked to your grave yourself, my child”

I was more confused, her mean words, irritating me more than I ever want. She flipped the book opened and stopped at the blank page that sent my head reeling.

“Exactly what you saw, my dear. You haven’t earned a dime!” she spat maliciously, — a word that made me feel as if a hammer was stabbed on my head.

“Mu… Mum?” I asked through the tears that chocked my throat. “What are you….”

“I didn’t send you to get pregnant? Did you read the fine print? What I’m asking now is additional services required by the management which means you do whatever I ask of you”

“What?”

She closed the book and patted my shoulder, “Another man paid for tonight, get ready to sleep with them to earn”