Toms Struggle

Thinking.

It’s 2:00 Am and Tom wakes up, he expected this as he fell asleep at 6:00 pm. He walks down the stairs careful not to make them creak. As he walks into the living room he sees a note “Hi Tom, I decided not to wake you up. Take £5.00 out of my draw and either go to the chip shop across the road or order something. Here’s a free delivery code: SorryFDe7iv3ry8437. See you later- Mum. He didn’t want to go out and he wasn’t hungry yet so he decided to order a breakfast from  McDoogals and schedule it to arrive as he was leaving the door. Just as he thought about buying a drink he remembered that he could have autism. (In my experience, as a child it always lingered in the back of my mind, I knew that I had it and I was always thinking about it. Even if I didn’t realise) To get his mind off it he decided to watch some videos on his computer, he ended up researching symptoms of autism and he showed a lot of symptoms. “I can’t have it though, people with autism are either socially awkward savants or severely intellectually disabled people” that’s what he thought before but now he’d realised that it’s nor just those two types of people. “It’s a spectrum that I could be on” he thought. He didn’t think that he should get diagnosed though. At the end of the day I’m still me so why put an unnecessary label on myself. He muttered (this is what my mother told me when I first found out I could have autism, she thought if I did have it I was on the very borderline. This was because of a combination of masking and me not telling her things that were going on in school” Tom started to enjoy researching this hours went by and he couldn’t pull himself off his computer, he started to get out his notebook and make notes. This was the start of a special interest. He realised a lot of things. When he chews he’s stimming, when he tries to act normal and not stim he’s masking. He checked the time: 5:30 Am “Mom!” He called “Yes dear?” “I’m using one of my days off ok? “Ok” Said his mom. You see Tom and his mom had a deal, Tom was allowed 10 days off a year, unless he was vomiting or something else like that it would count as one of those days. He had 8 left the previous one had been used when he’d hurt his back running.

Toms mum left for work and there was a knock on the door soon after. He’d completely forgot he’d ordered food! So as he bit into his breakfast his brain flickered on what he should do next. First he wrote an email to Ms Richards 

Hi miss!

I’m not in school today as I am feeling quite unwell. I took my test for Autism, ADHD and dyslexia and it said that there’s a possibility that I have autism. What do you think I should do? Try to get a diagnosis or just not bother with it. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.

Thanks 

-Tom

As he decided what to do next another email popped up “Hi Tom, Glad to hear from you, I can’t decide that for you as it’s your decision. As your head of year I think you should try to get a diagnosis but remember this will bring on good and bad things, there will be pros but there will also be cons. You’ll get benefits from the school but think about finding a job or another school. Due to the stigma and stereotypes surrounding autism it might be a bit harder. If you get diagnosed you’ll have to work hard to rise above the stereotypes among other things but if you don’t get diagnosed are you sure you can get by without any help? Think about your Autistic traits. Can you control them? Is there a mental toll? No matter what you choose it’ll be hard. Personally I would choose to seek a diagnosis but that’s me. You’re you so make the decision that’s best for you. See you Tomorrow - Richards

After reading this email Tom was surprised at her response. It felt like she’d done this before she probably had but that didn’t take away the value of the words. Tom would definitely think about this. Now he was slightly leaning towards the get diagnosed side now. He thought maybe he should get diagnosed. He didn’t know what to do. So he just sat there. Thinking... That email was written from pure experience Miss Richards had been a head of year for 10 years and had been a teacher for 18 years. She worked with my older brother when he was in year 7. Ton looked at the time: it was 11:11 and as he had a very early breakfast he thought he’d make himself some tomato and chicken pasta. “If I get diagnosed I could have problems getting a job or getting into a good university or college. But I’d have an explanation.” For how I act. I could say to Josh “hey asshole you’re bullying the Autistic kid” he didn’t think he’d care but he wanted to see how he’d react. It was then he tipped fully on the get diagnosed side. “I could have an explanation. It was then that he tasted the pasta. It was done, he put a small amount of tomato purée in, he mixed it about and shredded some chicken. As a final touch he put a sprinkle of mozzarella in. He heard an email ding on his phone so he typed his password. Who emailed me? He thought he scrolled to the bottom ignoring the text for now and looked at the name. Gabe Chandon: Autism specialist, child psychologist. Tom scrolled up and started reading the email

Dear Tom...